I've Lost My Mind

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Comments

  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    cats_toy said:

    good excuse
    well it is a good excuse when your husband asks "don't you remember.....?", all you have to say is "chemo brain". I will use it as long as I can!
    he he
    Cat

    YIKES ... Lily ..
    I sure hope it doesn't take 5 years for chemo brain to go away. If that's the case ... my chemo brain will be leaving just as alzheimers is arriving. Seriously ... I'm 65 ... and I can still remember my grandmother at 70 ... and she was 95% "out of it" by that age. Frightening! Oh well ... I'll just go from one kind of flakey old lady ... to another. Just keep your eyes open ... in case I start wondering all over the place in search of my mind. :-)


    hugs.
    teena
  • ritazimm
    ritazimm Member Posts: 171
    tgf said:

    YIKES ... Lily ..
    I sure hope it doesn't take 5 years for chemo brain to go away. If that's the case ... my chemo brain will be leaving just as alzheimers is arriving. Seriously ... I'm 65 ... and I can still remember my grandmother at 70 ... and she was 95% "out of it" by that age. Frightening! Oh well ... I'll just go from one kind of flakey old lady ... to another. Just keep your eyes open ... in case I start wondering all over the place in search of my mind. :-)


    hugs.
    teena

    Thanks once again
    Thanks again ladies,

    I got a few chuckles from your stories. I normally have to laugh at my memory lapses but sometimes it just gets to me and scares the heck out of me!!! I'm definitely in the 'this totally sucks brain' club!!! Although I will only be 52 after five years of this, I still cannot imagine living with this for that long! I know...... I know.... one day at a time! I only like to give advice, not take it. ;)

    God bless,
    Rita
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    ritazimm said:

    Thanks once again
    Thanks again ladies,

    I got a few chuckles from your stories. I normally have to laugh at my memory lapses but sometimes it just gets to me and scares the heck out of me!!! I'm definitely in the 'this totally sucks brain' club!!! Although I will only be 52 after five years of this, I still cannot imagine living with this for that long! I know...... I know.... one day at a time! I only like to give advice, not take it. ;)

    God bless,
    Rita

    Stop me if you've heard this one.....
    Hi Sweetie~ it is painful going through this, but it truly does gradually receed, and we are not so afflicted by chemo-brain. You are kinda new, so hopefully you haven't heard my advice about memory boosts. And if you have, oh no! That means I STILL have chemo-brain! ( My online friends know my fiance is Native American, therefore I got to claim Kemo-Sabe Brain.)

    One thing I recently suggested...when you leave the livingroom and go to get something in your bedroom for example, and you forget what you came in for~ do NOT go back to the livingroom and re-trace your steps. Stay in your bedroom and force your brain to work! I have been doing this for over a year now, and it has helped tremendously. It is sometimes a lesson in futility, but 9 out of 10 times, I actually do remember what I came in for!

    I do crossword puzzles, and I also regale my Reggie with things I have read or seen on TV or heard on the radio. It has been said that if we vocally articulate things we take in, we truly make it our own.

    As for losing glasses? Well, I would do better to have 15 pair of the exact style/color of readers scattered all over the house! It is the most frustrating thing! And it is hard to find them if I'm not wearing them... a no win, in my opinion! I don't know what to suggest about that!

    I also told Reggie I was suffering from chemo-brain, and that the recovery would be slow in coming...and with that in mind I asked him KINDLY to tell me if I started to tell him something for the thousandth time! Or, I would preface my sentences with~ "did I tell you this already"? Lots of times, as my system was weaning itself from the lingering side effects, I didn't know if I had indeed spoken my thoughts outloud, or had simply been thinking about them! GRRRRRRR. It saved my sanity and Reggie's patience at my lapses not to have to grit his teeth and listen to the same story again. and again. and again.

    Hang in there, sister~ it'll be ok! And as long as you're keeping company with the likes of us, we won't even notice! Or if we do, we'll forget! :-)


    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    chenheart said:

    Stop me if you've heard this one.....
    Hi Sweetie~ it is painful going through this, but it truly does gradually receed, and we are not so afflicted by chemo-brain. You are kinda new, so hopefully you haven't heard my advice about memory boosts. And if you have, oh no! That means I STILL have chemo-brain! ( My online friends know my fiance is Native American, therefore I got to claim Kemo-Sabe Brain.)

    One thing I recently suggested...when you leave the livingroom and go to get something in your bedroom for example, and you forget what you came in for~ do NOT go back to the livingroom and re-trace your steps. Stay in your bedroom and force your brain to work! I have been doing this for over a year now, and it has helped tremendously. It is sometimes a lesson in futility, but 9 out of 10 times, I actually do remember what I came in for!

    I do crossword puzzles, and I also regale my Reggie with things I have read or seen on TV or heard on the radio. It has been said that if we vocally articulate things we take in, we truly make it our own.

    As for losing glasses? Well, I would do better to have 15 pair of the exact style/color of readers scattered all over the house! It is the most frustrating thing! And it is hard to find them if I'm not wearing them... a no win, in my opinion! I don't know what to suggest about that!

    I also told Reggie I was suffering from chemo-brain, and that the recovery would be slow in coming...and with that in mind I asked him KINDLY to tell me if I started to tell him something for the thousandth time! Or, I would preface my sentences with~ "did I tell you this already"? Lots of times, as my system was weaning itself from the lingering side effects, I didn't know if I had indeed spoken my thoughts outloud, or had simply been thinking about them! GRRRRRRR. It saved my sanity and Reggie's patience at my lapses not to have to grit his teeth and listen to the same story again. and again. and again.

    Hang in there, sister~ it'll be ok! And as long as you're keeping company with the likes of us, we won't even notice! Or if we do, we'll forget! :-)


    Hugs,
    Claudia

    That's not how I find
    That's not how I find things. I walk around and use 'the force'. Everybody comes to me to find stuff they can't locate. It's because they think I moved it or threw it out (I'm the only one that cleans). I've suggested putting 'clappers' (you know clap and it makes a noise) on their keys and wallets. Cell phones they call to find them. Once my husband put the ice cream in the refrigerator. They never had chemo. My husband said chemo just made me like everybody else.
  • dorothyt
    dorothyt Member Posts: 103
    Marcia527 said:

    That's not how I find
    That's not how I find things. I walk around and use 'the force'. Everybody comes to me to find stuff they can't locate. It's because they think I moved it or threw it out (I'm the only one that cleans). I've suggested putting 'clappers' (you know clap and it makes a noise) on their keys and wallets. Cell phones they call to find them. Once my husband put the ice cream in the refrigerator. They never had chemo. My husband said chemo just made me like everybody else.

    Rita, I've never had chemo
    Rita, I've never had chemo and I do not take any anti-depressents, but I am Post-Menopausa,and I am having a problem with my memory. Sometimes I can't remember what I'm am doing when I'm doing it. I try not to do anything that may cause harm to me are anyone else.
  • DrSusanHardwicke
    DrSusanHardwicke Member Posts: 15
    "Lost my mind"
    So did I, ritazimm. It's called chemo brain, and it surely wasn't on the list of side effects I was given in the oncologist's office before the infusions.

    Chemotherapy kills all rapidly growing cells, not just cancer cells. Some chemotherapies attack the DNA in the cells, which means the DNA in the brain cells, too. That means that the new cells formed in the cell cycle won't perform as the old ones did and your brain needs to make new cells.

    Some chemos attack the branch endings of the neuron (they're called dendrites), which means they can't connect with the other cells.

    So the bad news is what chemo has done to your brain cells. This results in memory loss, fog, inattention or distractibility, navigation problems, etc. It all happened to me. This can even cause depression or other mood problems. That happened to me, as well, and the anti-depressants did not work.

    The good news is that you can grow new cells and create new brain pathways. I believe I am 98% back, and I may never get that other 2% (navigation-- keep going into the wrong room). But I am more confident than ever, because I was able to accomplish this and use my research skills to do it.

    Let me know if you want more information. I give talks to cancer support groups, have a web site, etc.

    Warm wishes to you!
  • DrSusanHardwicke
    DrSusanHardwicke Member Posts: 15
    Kristin N said:

    wow
    2 antidepressants? That could be part of the problem. I mean, we all lose stuff, forget etc., but, if you think it is still not the "norm", maybe you better talk to your doctor. Antidepressants change your brain, so, I wouldn't rule them out. Just talk to your doctor Rita and let us know!

    WOW - 2 antidepressants
    I often perform neurofeedback services, and also research the effects of various medications on brain performance.

    For many of the individuals, even those not on chemo, the antidepressants are associated with increased slow wave and/or decrease faster or alert wave. I also see this during allergy season, and even after dental anesthesia.

    Are you able to exercise? That can help with mood and restoring brain function.

    Best wishes!
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    Well......
    Well.....all I know is that between chemo brain and menopause, I am all of the above. Forgetful, easily distracted, etc.
    I have learned that if I place something important somewhere, I always TELL someone, usually my husband, where I'm putting it. Because I know when I need to lay my hands on it again, I will not remember where I put it.
    I used to try writing myself notes, but then I would forget where I put the note. Seriously.
    I am also always walking into another room, intent on doing something that needs to be done, only to get there and forget WHY I'm there. Or being in the middle of a conversation and then forgetting what I was going to say.
    Fortunately, those around me are quite tolerant...lol!
    I have tried playing "memory games" hoping to kind of "exercise" my brain, and I usually do well on those. But in practical, real life, I am still as forgetful as ever.

    I have also been on Wellbutrin for years. Perhaps this is contributing to the problem, but I'm not really willing to give it up, especially now.

    CR
  • peggy65
    peggy65 Member Posts: 100
    ritazimm said:

    Thanks Peggy,
    I like your

    Thanks Peggy,
    I like your positive thinking! I am definitely praying that this is not my 'new normal'!!! This is so unacceptable! I am just not willing to accept that I will be this way forever! I'm not sure what I am going to do about it, but I have to do something.

    Thanks also for mentioning the fatigue. I've been wondering if it is a figment of my imagination or what. I have never been so fatigued in my life. I've been thinking that with it being a year since I completed chemo, the fatigue should be gone. I guess this is all going to take a lot longer than I anticipated.

    Thanks for sharing Peggy.
    God bless,
    Rita

    hi rita, my doc,
    hi rita, my doc, psychiatrist, who specializes in breast cancer told me that it takes at least two years before you really start feeling like your old self. she reminds me that although things on the outside of our bodies look normal, inside our bodies are working overtime to heal. that made sense to me. i tend to underestimate the seriousness of the cancer, but it was a big deal. our bodies were sabotaged.i am beginning to accept this state of fatigue, i said starting! it has definitely been my challenge through this whole process. you know, i think we as women tend to expect so much of ourselves. we constantly push ourselves to get everything done and right now in my life after cancer that doesn't work. i have cried so often mainly out of frustration and that doesn't change anything. only that i use a lot of kleenex. i wish you well in your journey, rita, it really is a trip! one that i never imagined taking myself. knowing that it will pass in due time is the only thing that makes me feel better. i was even thinking i was the only one with fatigue or a must be a hypochondriac. every one was going about their business and i was prone on the couch watching HGTV!!! so i decided after my doc said 2 years that i just had to go with it. you sound like you are going through what i have been going through but now as i continue to try to put everything in perspective things are better. hope this was helpful. this is a pain blah blah blah.love,peggy
  • peggy65
    peggy65 Member Posts: 100
    cats_toy said:

    good excuse
    well it is a good excuse when your husband asks "don't you remember.....?", all you have to say is "chemo brain". I will use it as long as I can!
    he he
    Cat

    HA,HA. what a great one. we
    HA,HA. what a great one. we will use whatever we can, right? i go back and forth and wonder if it is chemo brain or dementia!!!! I have read research on chemo brain and it is real and everyone experiences it differently. it does scare me sometimes because i know that i am not remembering everything that i should. any advice? hugs,peggy
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510

    "Lost my mind"
    So did I, ritazimm. It's called chemo brain, and it surely wasn't on the list of side effects I was given in the oncologist's office before the infusions.

    Chemotherapy kills all rapidly growing cells, not just cancer cells. Some chemotherapies attack the DNA in the cells, which means the DNA in the brain cells, too. That means that the new cells formed in the cell cycle won't perform as the old ones did and your brain needs to make new cells.

    Some chemos attack the branch endings of the neuron (they're called dendrites), which means they can't connect with the other cells.

    So the bad news is what chemo has done to your brain cells. This results in memory loss, fog, inattention or distractibility, navigation problems, etc. It all happened to me. This can even cause depression or other mood problems. That happened to me, as well, and the anti-depressants did not work.

    The good news is that you can grow new cells and create new brain pathways. I believe I am 98% back, and I may never get that other 2% (navigation-- keep going into the wrong room). But I am more confident than ever, because I was able to accomplish this and use my research skills to do it.

    Let me know if you want more information. I give talks to cancer support groups, have a web site, etc.

    Warm wishes to you!

    Welcome Dr. Hardwicke to the
    Welcome Dr. Hardwicke to the club no one wants to join but here we are forced to do so. I am so glad you are here to maybe guide us and help us with many medical questions we may have after our doctors just throw info at us. I'm sorry you have to be here, because somewhere in some thread I read you too were fighting the beast. I would suggest you start a new thread so that everyone can meet you and post your web site so that we can all look into it. Hugs, Lili
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    tgf said:

    YIKES ... Lily ..
    I sure hope it doesn't take 5 years for chemo brain to go away. If that's the case ... my chemo brain will be leaving just as alzheimers is arriving. Seriously ... I'm 65 ... and I can still remember my grandmother at 70 ... and she was 95% "out of it" by that age. Frightening! Oh well ... I'll just go from one kind of flakey old lady ... to another. Just keep your eyes open ... in case I start wondering all over the place in search of my mind. :-)


    hugs.
    teena

    LOL Teena, me too, I hope it
    LOL Teena, me too, I hope it doesn't take all that long or we will all be in trouble, Hugs, Lili
  • ritazimm
    ritazimm Member Posts: 171

    "Lost my mind"
    So did I, ritazimm. It's called chemo brain, and it surely wasn't on the list of side effects I was given in the oncologist's office before the infusions.

    Chemotherapy kills all rapidly growing cells, not just cancer cells. Some chemotherapies attack the DNA in the cells, which means the DNA in the brain cells, too. That means that the new cells formed in the cell cycle won't perform as the old ones did and your brain needs to make new cells.

    Some chemos attack the branch endings of the neuron (they're called dendrites), which means they can't connect with the other cells.

    So the bad news is what chemo has done to your brain cells. This results in memory loss, fog, inattention or distractibility, navigation problems, etc. It all happened to me. This can even cause depression or other mood problems. That happened to me, as well, and the anti-depressants did not work.

    The good news is that you can grow new cells and create new brain pathways. I believe I am 98% back, and I may never get that other 2% (navigation-- keep going into the wrong room). But I am more confident than ever, because I was able to accomplish this and use my research skills to do it.

    Let me know if you want more information. I give talks to cancer support groups, have a web site, etc.

    Warm wishes to you!

    Thank you Dr. Hardwicke
    It is nice to hear some of the scientific side of the chemo brain issues and nice to know that I am not totally insane and not coming back to reality. It has really gottne me down lately. I really had thought that the anti-depressants were helping me but lately I'm thinking that they are not. I'm not sure if they were and have quit helping, or if they never were helping and it was the placebo effect but I am so disheartened by my back tracking. I also recently found out that my counselor isn't in my insurance plan so now I have to start all over again. Anyway, thank you for sharing and welcome to the site. These are some pretty remarkable women here that have helped me a lot already.

    God bless,
    Rita
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    Jadie said:

    Aortus
    I've been on Zoloft for several years also. How do you know that that is what has affected your brain and not just getting older? (or are you) Wow I don't have a chance- chemo, Zoloft and old age!

    Jadie

    Jadie
    Love the picture. Just be sure and use suncreen on the belly button area ... it looks pretty exposed to me.

    hugs.
    teena
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    CR1954 said:

    Well......
    Well.....all I know is that between chemo brain and menopause, I am all of the above. Forgetful, easily distracted, etc.
    I have learned that if I place something important somewhere, I always TELL someone, usually my husband, where I'm putting it. Because I know when I need to lay my hands on it again, I will not remember where I put it.
    I used to try writing myself notes, but then I would forget where I put the note. Seriously.
    I am also always walking into another room, intent on doing something that needs to be done, only to get there and forget WHY I'm there. Or being in the middle of a conversation and then forgetting what I was going to say.
    Fortunately, those around me are quite tolerant...lol!
    I have tried playing "memory games" hoping to kind of "exercise" my brain, and I usually do well on those. But in practical, real life, I am still as forgetful as ever.

    I have also been on Wellbutrin for years. Perhaps this is contributing to the problem, but I'm not really willing to give it up, especially now.

    CR

    CR ...
    I know what you mean about not ready to give up Wellbutrin. I'm on that ... and zoloft ... and I don't know if either/both of them are adding to my "flakiness" ... or if it's all chemo brain ... but I'm not about to take a chance and stop or cut back ... or change antidepressants. As long as they keep me from going totally nuts ... I'm sticking with them ... and just cross my fingers that when chemo is over ... some of those brain cells will kick into gear so I can actually remember a few things for more than 10 seconds. At this point I couldn't handle serious depression on top of everything else.

    hugs.
    teena
  • DrSusanHardwicke
    DrSusanHardwicke Member Posts: 15
    peggy65 said:

    HA,HA. what a great one. we
    HA,HA. what a great one. we will use whatever we can, right? i go back and forth and wonder if it is chemo brain or dementia!!!! I have read research on chemo brain and it is real and everyone experiences it differently. it does scare me sometimes because i know that i am not remembering everything that i should. any advice? hugs,peggy

    Advice for chemo brain
    I've been researching chemo brain and have devoted a website community plus information for recovery from chemotherapy. Interestingly, many physicians still doubt whether the symptoms reported by patients are in fact caused by chemotherapy. The research I report sheds light on the subject.

    The program I used (and still do) consists of 4 parts: emotional/spiritual; nutrition and lifestyle; physical exercise; and mental exercise.

    The site is www.healthafterchemo.com, in case you want to take a peek.