Another loss.

JoMama54
JoMama54 Member Posts: 78
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Over the weekend I lost another friend from my high school class to the "beast". That makes 2 in the last 4 months. All I can do is cry cause it hit so close to home with me. All I can think is "what if"............Sisters give me some strength!
JoMama

Comments

  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    I wish ...
    I wish I had some magic words to make the hurt go away ... but I don't. All I can say is that I am very sorry for your loss. Just know that your friends would want you to continue to fight the fight ... be strong ... and live your life to the fullest.

    hugs.
    teena
  • dbs1673
    dbs1673 Member Posts: 203
    what if
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Facing mortality is scary enough without knowing it is from a beast that has scratched us all on this site. When you think of the "what ifs" think what if we didn't have have each others' support, what if we haven't been able to look at where we were to see how far we've come, what if we didn't know that there are more cures than losses, what if we didn't value each and every struggle to remind us of our strength? What if we didn't have friends who cherish our lives enought to mourn what can not be replaced? What if we couldn't cry anymore....go ahead.
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    Sad news
    Jo, I am very sorry for your loss. It must be so hard to hear of others who have perished to this awful disease -- the very one we are fighting. You cry and grieve and let those emotions out. Mourn your friend and celebrate her life and all the good memories you have of her. Also know that you are living and fighting and succeeding every day. You are strong.
  • tami90650
    tami90650 Member Posts: 82
    Hey joMama
    Hi JoMama, I feel you and my heart totally goes out to you. I have a cousin who was diagnosed recently with a harsh prognosis and it hit me hard too. Shes alot younger than I and has 3 children, between the ages of 5 to 9. Ive cried alot too. I'm not sure if Ive been crying for her, myself, or the fears I try to suppress almost on a daily basis. I actually feel guilty sometimes that I survived and others didnt and wont. I
    I constantly have to do a mental graditude list often, sometimes on paper too, and I find comfort by taking action. I go to this web site and try to be very positive for others out there going through what I went through or worse. I am participating in the relay for life, getting donations and walking too. I do want to do the avon walk as well but thats 36 miles and my shape is very poor. I am ready to do some other things too like join a gym to cut the excess weight I have and change my diet to enable my body to stay healthy. It may all be in vein but if it helps my mental state as well as my physical, then why not huh? I dont think the way we feel will change but I believe it will subside to continue on with a better quality of life than waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hang tight, plan and start your own defense to moving on, and please do share too. We can bounce ideas off each other. pray, trust in God that he has great plans for you and I. Read James 1 paragraph 2 thru 8.
    Love you and your in my thoughts and prayers. I hope to hear back okay?
  • Cindy54
    Cindy54 Member Posts: 452
    Wish
    JoMama....Grieve the losses. Then the best way to honor your friends is simply to go on with your life and fight as much as they did. I also have lost friends to the beast. But the best way I have found to honor them is to continue on and fight as best I can. And remember all the times you have shared with them. The tears come first, then the determination to keep stepping forward. i wish you well...hugs, Cindy
  • peggy65
    peggy65 Member Posts: 100
    i am so saddened to hear of
    i am so saddened to hear of your loss. you honor your friend by telling us all. one step at a time. thinking of you. hugs, peggy
  • creampuff91344
    creampuff91344 Member Posts: 988
    peggy65 said:

    i am so saddened to hear of
    i am so saddened to hear of your loss. you honor your friend by telling us all. one step at a time. thinking of you. hugs, peggy

    JoMama....so sorry to hear
    JoMama....so sorry to hear of your loss. These kind of events really hit home hard, and just know there are lots of thoughts and prayers coming your way. It is really sad to hear of a loss in our community, especially when you are trying so hard to get through this yourself. I hope you find peace in your friend's passing by remembering the good times you had with her. Hugs.

    Judy
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    Loss
    Jo, I am so very sorry. Losing another friend, and to this disease, is doubly devastating. I have read your posts: you are a strong woman, a survivor. Cry as much as you need to, but remember the courage you have had through all this? It is still there, just beyond the grief, and you will find it again.
  • phoenixrising
    phoenixrising Member Posts: 1,508
    You've been through so much
    You've been through so much and I'm so sorry for that. My heart truly goes out to you. I wish there was some magical words I could say to you that would make you feel better but I don't know what they are. For myself I've found it better to not try and fight the grief and let it come and wash over me. It gets less and less. I hope you can feel the sunshine coming your way that's being sent from all of us.
    love
    jan
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    Sorry for your loss JoMama.
    Sorry for your loss JoMama. Sending hugs your way.
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    Jo mama
    So sorry for the loss of your friend. I know how scary it is wondering who the beast is coming after next. Try not to let the beast steal your days. It is ok to cry and to grieve, but save your strength to fight for you and for all of those that the beast has stolen from us. Do not give in or give up. We are all right here for you. I am sending prayers and big big hugs your way.
    God Bless
    Jackie
  • jojo elizapest
    jojo elizapest Member Posts: 122
    so sorry for your
    so sorry for your loss...your posts have been helpful to others and I hope their words here help you...
  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    I am very sorry for your
    I am very sorry for your losses. You have 2 very understandaable reasons for crying and sadness. My Sister died of cancer in 2003. My Aunt is dying of cancer now...not sure how long she has left, but is not doing well. I have a friend who has been dealing with mets for three years...in and out of hospitals, more surgeries than I can keep up with. She keeps on keeping on. The way we all keep going is through our faith in Jesus and the prayers of family and friends. It is not fun, and we do our share of crying and being afraid, but I believe, "faith is the evidence of things hoped for and the manifestation of things unseen", and, "we do not grieve as those who have no hope" because of Jesus. To me that means cancer will not be the victor in this battle, even if it means the survivor I love will no longer be surviving on earth.

    I pray that you will find the comfort you need in your own way. seof.
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    Sorry JoMama, aren't enough
    Sorry JoMama, there aren't enough words to express the sadness I feel when I hear about someone succumbing to the beast but I'm sending you cyber hugs. Lili
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    Crying......
    I absolutley do NOT quote the Bible very often, for myriad reasons. But your post made me think of this....when Jesus lost his friend Lazarus, HE CRIED! To those who believe the scriptures, Jesus had the power to resurrect! And yet..he felt the loss and cried. Just something to ponder when we perhaps think tears are a sign of weakness or lack of faith. They are neither. But they are definitely a human response. So, whether we consider ourselves spiritual AND physical beings, or only physical and not spiritual beings, the fact still remains that we have tear-ducts for a reason. Use them!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • bfbear
    bfbear Member Posts: 380
    chenheart said:

    Crying......
    I absolutley do NOT quote the Bible very often, for myriad reasons. But your post made me think of this....when Jesus lost his friend Lazarus, HE CRIED! To those who believe the scriptures, Jesus had the power to resurrect! And yet..he felt the loss and cried. Just something to ponder when we perhaps think tears are a sign of weakness or lack of faith. They are neither. But they are definitely a human response. So, whether we consider ourselves spiritual AND physical beings, or only physical and not spiritual beings, the fact still remains that we have tear-ducts for a reason. Use them!

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    So sorry...
    Dear Jo,

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. As it also says in the Bible (paraphrasing here), there is a season for everything under the sun,and there's a time for grieving. Crying is OK. It's the first step of grief. I have no special words of wisdom other than that. But you are in my prayers.

    Big hugs,
    Debi
  • djteach
    djteach Member Posts: 273
    Dear Jomama,
    I am so sorry

    Dear Jomama,
    I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Death is hard at best, but when it hits so close to home it can be overwhelming. I know I'm new here, but it sounds like you have had to deal with a lot of loss lately. I wish I had words that would make it easier, but I don't. Just know that I see the "tears of a clown" and I am giving you a cyber hug.

    Gentle Hugs,
    Donna
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    Heartfelt Condolences
    Dear JoMama:

    I am new to this group, and this is my first post to you. I send my most heartfelt condolences for the recent loss of your friend, and the one before her. Am so, so very sorry.

    Please allow yourself to grieve. Hold on to your precious memories, they will live on within your heart.

    We here all live with that "what if..." Of course, we understand completely.

    The best and most meaningful way to honor your friends, and their battles with breast cancer, is to not give up yourself.

    Sending hopes & prayers for strength.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • JoMama54
    JoMama54 Member Posts: 78
    Thank you!!
    Thank you sister for all you kind words. This clown for sure had many tears. The clown picture was taken for my grandson 3rd circus birthday party back in Sept. I was only 4 weeks out from my masectomy and I wanted to be FiFi the sad clown. The grandkids loved it.
    Thank you again................and BIG HUGS to all!!!
    JoMama