The Black Hole

JennMTgirl

My brother recently had a small, Grade IV Glioblastoma removed from between the two lobes of his brain. There is another, larger but lower grade tumor left which is inoperable (I don't know if it's the same type, my mind is slow to catch up because of the shock). I am having a really difficult time with this and am trying to reach out, because even though I like to think I am strong, I really don't deal well with stress. I am so afraid of alienating my husband and kids. My husband told me it would be a good idea to find a support group because even though he loves and supports me, he doesn't know how to help--his family is not as close as mine, and we have very different coping mechanisms. He said he was afraid he would lose patience if I was not "okay" after about the length of time he felt he would need in this situation. That time period turned out to be three weeks, and now we've hit a rough patch. I have tried so hard to keep doing the things I've always done. I think that when he tries to be cute and flirty he's only trying to help, and to put me in a good mood, but really it just turns me off and makes me feel (even though I know deep down that it's not true) like he's being insensitive. Now he's getting increasingly frustrated, but at the same time, because I am trying so hard to the next level of this thing, he seems to think that I'm doing well again...but I am definitely not where I need to be in order to be strong for him and the kids--and most importantly, my brother. We live in a town of about 60,000 in a mostly rural area, and the live support groups I've been able to find only meet once a month. There's a big black hole that seems to be drawing me in, and I don't know where to turn for help getting out of it. How do I pick myself up from this in order to get to a better place?

the_liz_army

JennMTgirl:
Check out
JennMTgirl:

Check out www.cancercare.org. They're a national nonprofit organization that provides free, professional support services for anyone affected by cancer (including family members). I called them last week to get more information.

1-800-813-HOPE
info@cancercare.org

Liz

JennMTgirl

the_liz_army said:

JennMTgirl:
Check out
JennMTgirl:

Check out www.cancercare.org. They're a national nonprofit organization that provides free, professional support services for anyone affected by cancer (including family members). I called them last week to get more information.

1-800-813-HOPE
info@cancercare.org

Liz

Thanks
Thank you, Liz, I am going to check it out right now.
Jenn

alley22

you & your family will be ok
HEY THERE MY NAME IS ALLISON I FEEEL YOUR PAIN .I WENT THROUGH A ROUGH TIME BEFORE MY MOM PAST .I HATE WHEN PEOPLE THINK CANCER AND THINK DEATH THATS NOT ALWAYS TRUE YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG YOU HAVE TO PUT GOD FIRST YOU HAVE TO PRAY ONLY GOD CAN HELP YOU THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THIS .I DONT KNOW IF YOU GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY,IF YOU DO KEEP IT UP IF YOU DONT GET DOWN MY SISTER AND PRAY.I KNOW ITS HARD TO STAY STONG I KNOW ITS HARD TO WALK AROUND WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND YOUR HEART IS HURTING.LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING THIS CANCER IS LIKE THE DEVIL YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG OR ELSE IT WILL TEAR YOR FAMILY APART IVE BEEN THERE IT DOES NOT HAVE TO HAAPPEN LIKE THAT.DO THINGS WITH YOU FAMILY YOU STILL HAVE TO BE THERE FOR YOU HUSBAND AND YOUR KIDS YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOURSELF TOGATHER YOU ARE VERY STRONG SO FAR AND IM HERE FOR YOU ..HAVE FAITH AND KNOW THAT EVERYTHING IS IN GOD PLAN IN GODS HANDS SO PLEASE TRY AND HANG IN THERE EVERYTHING WILL GET BETTER

OCMenno

alley22 said:

you & your family will be ok
HEY THERE MY NAME IS ALLISON I FEEEL YOUR PAIN .I WENT THROUGH A ROUGH TIME BEFORE MY MOM PAST .I HATE WHEN PEOPLE THINK CANCER AND THINK DEATH THATS NOT ALWAYS TRUE YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG YOU HAVE TO PUT GOD FIRST YOU HAVE TO PRAY ONLY GOD CAN HELP YOU THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THIS .I DONT KNOW IF YOU GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY,IF YOU DO KEEP IT UP IF YOU DONT GET DOWN MY SISTER AND PRAY.I KNOW ITS HARD TO STAY STONG I KNOW ITS HARD TO WALK AROUND WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND YOUR HEART IS HURTING.LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING THIS CANCER IS LIKE THE DEVIL YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG OR ELSE IT WILL TEAR YOR FAMILY APART IVE BEEN THERE IT DOES NOT HAVE TO HAAPPEN LIKE THAT.DO THINGS WITH YOU FAMILY YOU STILL HAVE TO BE THERE FOR YOU HUSBAND AND YOUR KIDS YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOURSELF TOGATHER YOU ARE VERY STRONG SO FAR AND IM HERE FOR YOU ..HAVE FAITH AND KNOW THAT EVERYTHING IS IN GOD PLAN IN GODS HANDS SO PLEASE TRY AND HANG IN THERE EVERYTHING WILL GET BETTER

AMEN, AMEN!!

I agree Allison. The best place to be is down on your knees! My wife is battling with a grade 3 astrocytoma. With the Lord we can win this battle. We spend a lot of time in prayer, trusting that God is in control and that His will be done. We have taught our 3 children (9,8, and 3) to do the same. Wow, if we had faith like children! No, it definitely is not easy. In fact, it is terribly hard at times. The worst for me is waking up the odd time in the middle of the night from the sound of my lovely wife crying. Sometimes I just don't know what to say. But I also see that her hands are folded in prayer during these sleepless nights. That is what keeps her (and me) strong and brings her spirits back up.