Life After Cancer

RE
RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
edited March 2014 in Emotional Support #1
I have read several blogs on this subject, some feel slighted to have had to deal with cancer and its long lasting side effects, some just pick up the pieces and continue on, others find a cause and attack it with a vengeance. Me I am somewhere in the middle. I have long term forever lasting side effects from my cancer occurrences, I consider them sort of like a war vet may consider a missing appendage or a scar born in battle. My missing breast (why would I keep it anyway it was trying to kill me) the lymph damage to my left arm and the nerve damage to the left hand and of course the gnawing knowledge that it can return for round 4 any time it feels like it. All these things have altered me and none would have happened without the cancer, however that does not mean I am less than I ever was. I am still RE, I still have family and friends who love me and I still have much to offer this world....cancer did not change any of that. I choose to continue living as good a life as I can for whatever time I have here. I have two young grandsons and a grand daughter on the way that I have much yet to teach, I also have two children who though they are adults they still need me. Of course there is my husband who seems to like having me around so I will do all I can to keep it that way. Bottom line is cancer has taken so much from me I cannot allow it to take my happiness, it is just not an option!

Comments

  • soccerfreaks
    soccerfreaks Member Posts: 2,788 Member
    #2
    Thank you
    Well said, ma'am.

    I appreciate the perspective. I appreciate the notion that, in words I have used myself in the past, cancer can only have what it is genetically entitled to. The rest is ours.

    It is clear that you have chosen to recognize your cancer events not as the end of the world but the beginning, really, of a more fulfilling life, one replete with awareness of mortality and thus a thriving on the moments that we are given.

    I salute you, Re, and congratulate you for both your survivorship and your great mental outlook.

    Take care,

    Joe
  • blueroses
    blueroses Member Posts: 524
    #3
    Absolutely true Re
    Hey Re, haven't chatted with you in a long while, hope all is well with you and yours.

    I couldn't agree more with all you have said. I too, despite all the side effects I personally deal with daily, choose life over just giving up and hiding and I think most of us survivors have that bottomline attitude that keeps us moving. I think that we will all continue to have some darker moments for any number of reasons (along the way) but as long as we can snap ourselves out of them as soon as possible and move on that's the ticket.

    On this board we are all extended the luxury of talking out our feelings - the positive and the not so positive - and I think that's the true gift of the site - allowing us to express ourselves at any given time and in any given mood. Afterall, there are so many different emotions we go through in this cancer experience and knowing we aren't alone in all of them, when we get mired down or want to share a happy experience is the great gift of this site, to me anywho.

    Depending on what kind of cancer we have had, how long ago, what side effects we deal with daily and our life's situation other than with cancer, all make for uniquely different cancer experiences as you well know. Add to all of that a person's unique personality and we all handle it similarly but not exactly the same.

    Thanks for the post Re, most inspiring. Blessings, Blueroses.
  • tonybear
    tonybear Member Posts: 90
    #4
    i too am learning to adjust.
    i too am learning to adjust. i thought i'd come home and carry on as usual. it was okay for a few months and then i got run over by the emotional side and the new approach to life changes. i have a wife and kids who care, a church that is loving. those have helped so much. i have a counselor i talk with where i was treated at. it all helps me. i am having to look at every day and every moments new change and see if it's good or bad and how it will effect not just me, but those who love me. some of it i have to kick out, sometimes i accept the changes and adjust. at 54 it is a challenge to not live on autopilot anymore. but it is a good thing to change for the better. i have found it most helpful to speak openly to my wife and counselor about what is changing. i can get ideas from the counselor. but more importantly, it keeps my loving wife aware of where i am. i am happy you made it.
  • tonybear
    tonybear Member Posts: 90
    #5
    blueroses said:

    Absolutely true Re
    Hey Re, haven't chatted with you in a long while, hope all is well with you and yours.

    I couldn't agree more with all you have said. I too, despite all the side effects I personally deal with daily, choose life over just giving up and hiding and I think most of us survivors have that bottomline attitude that keeps us moving. I think that we will all continue to have some darker moments for any number of reasons (along the way) but as long as we can snap ourselves out of them as soon as possible and move on that's the ticket.

    On this board we are all extended the luxury of talking out our feelings - the positive and the not so positive - and I think that's the true gift of the site - allowing us to express ourselves at any given time and in any given mood. Afterall, there are so many different emotions we go through in this cancer experience and knowing we aren't alone in all of them, when we get mired down or want to share a happy experience is the great gift of this site, to me anywho.

    Depending on what kind of cancer we have had, how long ago, what side effects we deal with daily and our life's situation other than with cancer, all make for uniquely different cancer experiences as you well know. Add to all of that a person's unique personality and we all handle it similarly but not exactly the same.

    Thanks for the post Re, most inspiring. Blessings, Blueroses.

    your reply to re helped me.
    your reply to re helped me. thanks for the insight into a new life.
  • slickwilly
    slickwilly Member Posts: 334 Member
    #6
    tonybear said:

    i too am learning to adjust.
    i too am learning to adjust. i thought i'd come home and carry on as usual. it was okay for a few months and then i got run over by the emotional side and the new approach to life changes. i have a wife and kids who care, a church that is loving. those have helped so much. i have a counselor i talk with where i was treated at. it all helps me. i am having to look at every day and every moments new change and see if it's good or bad and how it will effect not just me, but those who love me. some of it i have to kick out, sometimes i accept the changes and adjust. at 54 it is a challenge to not live on autopilot anymore. but it is a good thing to change for the better. i have found it most helpful to speak openly to my wife and counselor about what is changing. i can get ideas from the counselor. but more importantly, it keeps my loving wife aware of where i am. i am happy you made it.

    Lots to live for
    RE. That was a great post and you have so much to offer the world. And being a grandmother that has been through so much, I am sure you can teach your grandchildren to enjoy every part of life. I would bet you spoil them rotten but that is what a grandparent is supposed to do. I am still waiting for my three daughters to get busy as I really miss not having little ones around. Tonybear. It sounds like you have a great support structure in place. I am 53 years old and never though I would be sitting at home on disability. And sitting on the couch on autopilot would be real easy. I loved working and was active all my life. It drove me crazy completly changing my life. Being open with people is so important as there are many things I just can't do anymore. Its hard for people to understand when you look good on the outside but are a complete mess on the inside. Like many here I wake up and look at the ceiling above my bed and try to figure out what part of my body is causing the most pain. I take the appropriate pill and force myself to move even though the couch looks pretty good. But living life is what its all about. Slickwilly
  • blueroses
    blueroses Member Posts: 524
    #7
    tonybear said:

    your reply to re helped me.
    your reply to re helped me. thanks for the insight into a new life.

    Tonybear
    That is what this site is all about, people sharing with people and thereby helping people. Glad you got some help on this thread. Hope today is a good day for you Tony. Blessings, Blueroses.
  • blueroses
    blueroses Member Posts: 524
    #8
    tonybear said:

    your reply to re helped me.
    your reply to re helped me. thanks for the insight into a new life.

    A great support system
    Had to take a second to make an extra posting just to say that you are extremely blessed, not that I have to tell you, to have the wonderful support system that you describe. It can make all the difference in the world to a person's recovery and life afterwards. I'm so happy to hear you have that support. My marriage fell apart,as many cancer survivors experience, but as they say great challenges can either pull a couple together or tear them apart - cancer is no different. I am so happy that you fall under the former rather than the later situation. Take care. Blueroses.
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #9
    slickwilly said:

    Lots to live for
    RE. That was a great post and you have so much to offer the world. And being a grandmother that has been through so much, I am sure you can teach your grandchildren to enjoy every part of life. I would bet you spoil them rotten but that is what a grandparent is supposed to do. I am still waiting for my three daughters to get busy as I really miss not having little ones around. Tonybear. It sounds like you have a great support structure in place. I am 53 years old and never though I would be sitting at home on disability. And sitting on the couch on autopilot would be real easy. I loved working and was active all my life. It drove me crazy completly changing my life. Being open with people is so important as there are many things I just can't do anymore. Its hard for people to understand when you look good on the outside but are a complete mess on the inside. Like many here I wake up and look at the ceiling above my bed and try to figure out what part of my body is causing the most pain. I take the appropriate pill and force myself to move even though the couch looks pretty good. But living life is what its all about. Slickwilly

    Grandma RE :-)
    Thank you Slickwilly, I am glad you enjoyed the post. It is so important to me to have other's see that as time progresses many of us do move on and find purpose as well as joy and happiness in our lives.

    By the way, I do spoil my grandson's and we have much fun together they bring such happiness into my life.

    My Best to you,

    RE :-)
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #10
    RE said:

    Grandma RE :-)
    Thank you Slickwilly, I am glad you enjoyed the post. It is so important to me to have other's see that as time progresses many of us do move on and find purpose as well as joy and happiness in our lives.

    By the way, I do spoil my grandson's and we have much fun together they bring such happiness into my life.

    My Best to you,

    RE :-)

    Dear RE...
    You are truly Magic Wonder Woman!

    I hear you, RE. Loud and clear. And, I do understand.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • hollyberry
    hollyberry Member Posts: 173 Member
    #11
    Christmas Girl said:

    Dear RE...
    You are truly Magic Wonder Woman!

    I hear you, RE. Loud and clear. And, I do understand.

    Kind regards, Susan

    You're one of my heroes!!

    Dear RE,
    You have inspired me on many occasions with your kind words and beautiful posts. I am so glad that you are at peace with your body and enjoying everyday. You deserve happiness!
    I am still fighting the beast, but am happier now than I have been in years. It sure does affect your outlook on life. I can honestly say that I never truly appreciated all of the gifts that I had been given. Now, I am so happy just to spend time with those I love, take a walk and soak in nature and just be happy to be in this moment.
    Have a wonderful Mother's Day! And, thanks for always contributing to our well-being; you don't know how many lives you've touched. I know you made a difference in mine.
    God bless,
    Hollyberry
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #12
    hollyberry said:

    You're one of my heroes!!

    Dear RE,
    You have inspired me on many occasions with your kind words and beautiful posts. I am so glad that you are at peace with your body and enjoying everyday. You deserve happiness!
    I am still fighting the beast, but am happier now than I have been in years. It sure does affect your outlook on life. I can honestly say that I never truly appreciated all of the gifts that I had been given. Now, I am so happy just to spend time with those I love, take a walk and soak in nature and just be happy to be in this moment.
    Have a wonderful Mother's Day! And, thanks for always contributing to our well-being; you don't know how many lives you've touched. I know you made a difference in mine.
    God bless,
    Hollyberry

    You are too kind!
    You have touched me with your kind words, thank you for that. I am humbled to know that I have made a difference in your life, cancer does change us it is what we do with that change that can empower us.

    My best to you,

    RE
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #13
    RE said:

    You are too kind!
    You have touched me with your kind words, thank you for that. I am humbled to know that I have made a difference in your life, cancer does change us it is what we do with that change that can empower us.

    My best to you,

    RE

    I have to echo what has been said in posts previous. You are one hell of an inspiration to a lot of us out here, And a good friend too. Thanks for everything Jxxxxxxxxx

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