Yesterday I turned 49 years old. Last year at this time I didn't know I was going to be diagnosed with cancer in May. I made it through that news, I made it through the double mastectomy in June, I made it through the radiation that ended in October and I'm getting ready for the implants on April 9. Yesterday I also had someone in the marketing department call me from the hospital. They are putting together a video for cancer support for patients and caregivers. They were wondering if I'd be willing to tell my story. Sure I thought at first. I asked for some of the questions...how did you feel when you first heard, how did your family react,etc. Then it hit me that what I thought I could do, I really can't. I know that technically I am a survivor, but am I really? I realized that I really don't like how some of my family/friends has/is treating me since this diagnosis. I realized that even though I am numb on the outside of my chest, I am extremely sensitive on the inside. I realized that I really haven't come as far as I thought I did. I'm not minimizing how far I've come but just realizing how far I need to go.