Moving on

base61ball
base61ball Member Posts: 125
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Well, seven days from now I will leave Florida for Illinois. Due to the financial devastation from the cancer and being laid off from my job, my niece has kindly offered me a refuge in her home in exchange for helping with children.

You would think that Florida would have wonderful programs for people without insurance/jobs etc., but there is nothing here. Due to the economy every agency is out of funds. I have hope of getting help to have my follow up exams in Illinois, as well as maybe pay a few bills. The stress from all of this has been horrendous.

I thought the cancer surgery and treatment and losing my hair was the worst of it, but that was a cakewalk compared to unfeeling creditors harrassing me every day and being scared every day that the roof over my head would be gone and I'd be living in the woods. In a few short months I went from a IA credit rating to 20 below zero credit rating. Its unbelievable.

I am fortunate that my niece and her husband are coming down to haul the trailer back. It was hard to let go of years and years of possessions in garage sales and sales over the internet to get things down to a dull roar, but it is done now.

At the age of 62 I am starting over in a safe place where I will be useful and have time to work on my quilting and get the medical care I need. Packing has been something else - my stamina still hasn't returned to normal so its pack a while, rest a while. Kind of like a tortoise - slow but steady.

To top it off, the Aunt that took over as "mom" when my mother died when I was 18, passed away Tuesday of this week with lung cancer. I am really hurting over it. Will not be able to attend the funeral on Monday the 23rd, but plan to go up to Minnesota after I get settled and spend some time with my uncle. I tried my best to get there before she passed away. The timing just wasn't right.

Trying to look on the bright side but some days its just hard. My best to everyone - keep fighting the good fight, no matter what.



Things are bad right now, but I have hope that they will improve.

Comments

  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    Good Luck
    Good luck to you and yours, You are a very brave person, you have been through all that I have and a hell of a lot more. You deserve a break. Keep in touch. Hugs Julia xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    Wow
    You have been through so much, and you have so much grace and fortitude. I wish you much peace and joy in your new life. I hope you get all the care you need, and can quilt to your heart's desire. I also hope you keep up with us, here.

    Mimi
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    Good luck. We've made a lot
    Good luck. We've made a lot of changes in our life the past 9 years also. As long as you have hope then I'm sure you will be ok. If you can keep us updated on how you are doing. Wishing you the best. We will be here to listen if you need us.
  • base61ball
    base61ball Member Posts: 125
    Marcia527 said:

    Good luck. We've made a lot
    Good luck. We've made a lot of changes in our life the past 9 years also. As long as you have hope then I'm sure you will be ok. If you can keep us updated on how you are doing. Wishing you the best. We will be here to listen if you need us.

    Hope is everything. I appreciate the cyber hugs - haven't been hugged for real since January when my nephew was here. Maybe with a family, 3 dogs and a cat named Elvis that will change. If nothing else, the isolation will be over. God speed to everyone and I will keep in touch.
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    One More Hug!
    Here is one more hug for you as you deserve a multitude! My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this change in your life. I do not usually quote the Bible in here but felt compelled to quote a verse that seems destined for you.

    "Mercy, peace and love be multiplied to you." Jude 1:2

    Please come back and let us know how you are doing. Sending a great big cyber ((((HUG))))
    to you.

    RE
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    (((((((HUGS)))))))
    The thing that struck me most profoundly about your moving letter was this: "I am starting over in a safe place where I will be useful"~ Of course this is not where you saw yourself, but your niece and her husband are indeed the Silver Lining, aren't they?

    Your Life Drama has touched us all. As you well know, many of us live your story as well, with variations in the chapters. One thing is a certainty, you will always have our support and empathy. We are forever bound by the reason for being here in the first place. No matter how many years from dx we find ourselves, we remain connected.

    We wish you a safe trip from Florida, and please don't stop posting!

    I am really sorry about the losses you have suffered recently, especially that of your aunt.

    Cyber-hugs to you,
    Claudia
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    Sending you many heartfelt
    Sending you many heartfelt cyber hugs. You have been through so much and yet maintain a positive attitude. You are indeed an inspiration to us all. I hope your move goes smoothly and please keep on posting. Sorry for the loss of your aunt. Hugs, Lili
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member

    Hope is everything. I appreciate the cyber hugs - haven't been hugged for real since January when my nephew was here. Maybe with a family, 3 dogs and a cat named Elvis that will change. If nothing else, the isolation will be over. God speed to everyone and I will keep in touch.

    Elvis sounds purrrrrrrrr-fect!
    I wish you all the best, my dear...I'm sorry so much is on your plate right now...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Cindy54
    Cindy54 Member Posts: 452
    Your New Life
    And that is exactly what it is. The beginning of the rest of your new life. You have been through so many experiences that would be hard for anyone, let alone someone going through cancer treatment.May God grant you the peace and grace in your new journey. Please let us know how you are doing. My very best prayers coming your way...Cindy
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    And another...
    And another great big hug coming your way!

    My heart is with you in this new beginning to your life. And I've found that spending time with kids (my grandkids) is a great way to stay young. I think you will too. Enjoy them!

    My very best to you!

    CR
  • base61ball
    base61ball Member Posts: 125
    CR1954 said:

    And another...
    And another great big hug coming your way!

    My heart is with you in this new beginning to your life. And I've found that spending time with kids (my grandkids) is a great way to stay young. I think you will too. Enjoy them!

    My very best to you!

    CR

    Thank you
    For your support. I would not have survived cancer treatment without you. Just knowing I was not going through it by myself meant a lot. Your kind words and encouragement mean more than you will ever know.
  • base61ball
    base61ball Member Posts: 125
    RE said:

    One More Hug!
    Here is one more hug for you as you deserve a multitude! My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this change in your life. I do not usually quote the Bible in here but felt compelled to quote a verse that seems destined for you.

    "Mercy, peace and love be multiplied to you." Jude 1:2

    Please come back and let us know how you are doing. Sending a great big cyber ((((HUG))))
    to you.

    RE

    Bible verse
    Without faith, we have nothing. To me, faith is hope. Thank you for the reminder.
  • base61ball
    base61ball Member Posts: 125
    KathiM said:

    Elvis sounds purrrrrrrrr-fect!
    I wish you all the best, my dear...I'm sorry so much is on your plate right now...

    Hugs, Kathi

    Elvis
    With a name like that, he has to be an awesome cat! I am such an Elvis fan!
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member

    Thank you
    For your support. I would not have survived cancer treatment without you. Just knowing I was not going through it by myself meant a lot. Your kind words and encouragement mean more than you will ever know.

    One more hug!
    I too want to wish you the best on your new beginning. I can only imagine how stressful all of this is ... but with your strength and determination I know you'll fit right into your new life just fine.

    I do know how frightening new beginnings can be. I'm 65 and I can't count the times I've "started over." I just keep telling myself that all of those beginnings are part of growing ... and even though I'm 65 ... I AM still growing and learning. I'm still learning about life ... and about myself ... and I find that very rewarding. I found that through my "growing and learning" periods ... when people would ask me how I was doing ... I would smile and say "FINE" and that would satisfy them. What they didn't know was that inside that F-I-N-E ... stood for Frustrated-Insecure-Neurotic-Exhausted! But most people didn't want to hear that ... so "just fine" was what I'd say ... but I knew what it meant!

    I live in Indiana ... so I know you probably are not looking forward to the winters "up here" and I must admit ... I don't like them either. I lived in Louisiana for 15 years and loved it (heat/humidity and all!) and when I moved back to Indiana ... I realized how much I REALLY hated the cold weather. But ... then I tell myself how beautiful the springs and falls are here ... and that "sort of" makes up for the winters. Sort of. :-)

    The financial mess most of us are in now is very scary but you are so lucky to have such a wonderful niece who is there for you. I'm sure you will love being more involved with her and her family and I'm sure she will be glad to have you closer. I still work full time ... and probably will until I drop dead in my desk chair. I cannot imagine ever being financially able to retire. But ... it is what it is.

    We're all in this together and we're all here for each other ... so please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing in your new home. :-)

    Hugs,
    Teena
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    Good Luck
    When one door opens another closes. I wish you all the best with your new move, I have a feeling it may be just what you need. I know change is scary but could not be scarrier than what you've already been through! May your life be blessed with joy, love and peace
    Hugs jackie