2 losses in 1 week

celinelvr Member Posts: 30
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Dear Friends; My Mom passed away the 10th after I had to watch her die from dehydration because she could no longer swallow from the alzheimers, and she didn't want tubes, etc..
I started losing my hair,(and my mind),the same day. I finally had a friend shave my head yesterday, just in time for my second cycle of chemo tomorrow. I am not feeling very pretty right now and definately not looking forward to the chemo. It is hard to be upbeat when you feel life is beating you up. Coming here helps a lot. Thanks to all the gals who are looking out for me here. God Bless You! I hope I can also help others here as they need comfort. ~ Milly


  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    Oh my~ bless your heart. How very sad for you to have to see your poor Mama go through end-stage Alzheimers, while you too are doing battle with the Beast.

    I am glad you are taking the time to read and post; we are such Kindred Spirits in here, and truly feel empathy and a heart connection, don't we?

    The loss of your hair; you may certainly grieve that loss as well! It is all part and parcel of this journey...one with pot-holes, detours, and confusing road signs, but one you will NOT have to do alone. We hold your hand, and you will soon be holding the hand of someone who is needing you to pull them through the treatment maze toward Life After Cancer.

  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    My deepest condolences

    No words I can say will be enough to comfort you for the loss of your mom, my father in-law had Alzheimers and I recall had difficult it can be.

    In regards to your hair, trust me it comes back in time. Check out the American Cancer Society in your area and ask them about their "Look Good Feel Better" program. It is a program that as stated in brochure "teaches women beauty techniques to woman cancer patients in active treatment to help them combat the appearance related side effects of cancer treatment." Here is a link to the web page www.lookgoodfeelbetter.org

    Wishing you all the best,

  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    So sorry for your loss.
    So sorry for your loss. Helping others does help. It's tough going thru chemo at this time but try and keep the thought that your mom no longer is in pain.
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    Sorry Milly and Cyber <<<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>>>>
    So sorry for your loss Milly. Word's are not adequate sometimes to express our sympathy, but know you are in my prayers. I want you to know that you are not alone in the fight with the beast. We are here to help you navigate this road. Just keep posting and know we are with you 100%. Hugs, Lili
  • survivor51
    survivor51 Member Posts: 276
    Hey Sweetie,
    I am so glad you came to our circle of wings. I lost my mother at the young age of 60 to cancer and my father at 70 of cancer. I knew what I might be facing and one day noticed my hair starting to come out after my first chemo. My sister literally massaged my head and all my shoulder length hair was gone within 30 minutes. What a shock, we cried, laughed and just hugged. When my husband came home, I had a scarf on and he walked up, gave me a big hug and said "honey, here you are safe and no need for scarves." He took the scarf off and stepped back and said loudly with a laugh "Finally I have more hair than you" and yet your head still looks better". We laughed and hugged and it does take time. As to you mom, that must have been heart wrenching and mine as well as all the sisters here send out our big hug, prayers, and angels your way. Angela
  • labtech
    labtech Member Posts: 37
    oh i am so sorry milly.
    oh i am so sorry milly. please know your mom is in a better place and has no more suffering. My mother is starting with Alzheimers disease as well she is 80. My sister and i feel fortunate that she is at this age since all her family started in their 70's. I start my second round of chemo on Wednesday and not looking forward to it, i am seeing the docotor tomorrow and asking for the cream to put where the port is so i have less pain. I know how you feel about your appearance, but know this is temporary and we will get through this, none of us feel very pretty when we have to lose our hair but it will grow back and maybe even better. I bought a pretty head scarf and the wigs they have now are really nice. as long as you have support and friends/family you can survive anything. you are never alone we love you.

  • Jan_M
    Jan_M Member Posts: 116
    I am so sorry for your loss.
    I am so sorry for your loss. Many Prayers and hugs coming your way.
  • jakeca
    jakeca Member Posts: 92
    God Bless You
    The Lord bless you and keep you,
    The Lord make His face to shine upon you
    And give you peace.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    I wrap my arms around you....
    What a trying time for you! But there are many 'sisters' and 'brothers' that you have here, so, please don't hesitate to post.

    As you may have read, I lost a close friend last week. It is never easy. I try to put the best face on it, but it still is hard for those of us left behind.

    Don't worry about your hair, I'm certain you are beautiful with or without it!!!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Jadie
    Jadie Member Posts: 723
    My deepest sympathy
    Hi Celine

    I lost my mother-in-law on the 11th under the same circumstances. My heart goes out to you for losing your mom and and having to confront the beast at the same time. Don't let life beat you up with out fighting back. You might consider asking your onc for an anti-depressant medicine. Don't let yourself get too down before asking. The meds work wonders.

  • Joycelouise
    Joycelouise Member Posts: 482
    Please accept my love for
    Please accept my love for you in this difficult time. You are going to have so much to process. We will help you all we can. Please love yourself, be kind to yourself. I can see from your wanting, even in this hard time, to help others that you are a wonderful person. I reached out for help EVERYWHERE. Books, this support group, yoga, crying, I tried it all. Make yourself your number one priority. Surround yourself with good things. And count us in for the long haul.
    love, Joyce
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    Dearest Milly
    I am so very sorry for your loss. I also watched my mom pass away from cancer when she was only 50. I also take care of many dear alzheimers patients at the hospital i work. I love them all and hope and pray someday there will be a cure for both these deceases that steal so much from us. I know there is a special place in heaven for your mom. She is wrapped tight in the arms of the angels.

    It seems so cruel that you have to loose your hair at this time. But there will be regrowth and a renewal of spirit as well. Keep your chin up and you will see the sun coming at the end of the storm. It is very hard to be upbeat when life is beating you up. But you don't have to be upbeat when you don't feel like it. Take time to grieve. It's ok to cry and even to be angry. Like our other sisters on this board have said, be good to yourself. That's what your mom would have wanted. That is what we want also. We all are looking out for each other here, and that support has been invaluable to me ..as it will be for you.

    I am saying an extra prayer for you tonight. May God surround you in His love.