Not sure what to do...
I had mastectomy last August. Finished chemo in December. Just finished rad three weeks ago. I still go for Herceptin infusions every three weeks until late Fall.
I have "peach fuzz" growing on my head. My eyebrows and eyelashes are back.
And my family thinks and acts as though it is all behind me now, and I can get back to my "old self".
They were all wonderful during treatment. Very caring and supportive. Very helpful.
Now that I'm pretty much finished with that, all of the housekeeping, laundry, cooking, shopping...the usual things, have become my responsibility again. I'm not complaining! I know that many, many survivors do all of that, plus hold down a job.
My problem is that after just a few hours, I get so exhausted! And I can't always finish things.
If I apologize that supper is not on the table when it should be, I get a blank stare. Like...why not?
I adore my grandkids. Love them beyond words. And I love to spend time with them.
But now that I don't have to be going for treatments, I am asked to babysit...a lot.
Which I don't mind doing. Until I become so tired, about halfway through the day. Then just staying in an upright position is a challenge for me. If I say no, I am not up to keeping them, I first of all feel guilty, and secondly, I am usually told that there is nobody else to watch them...
I have talked to my family. Told them straight out that I am not back to "normal just yet. That I still get very tired after a few hours of activity.
They say yes, they understand. But they still expect the same from me.
I just don't know how I can get it across to them any better than I already have tried. Maybe the more I look like my old self...except for the missing breast, the more they think I AM my old self.
I end up feeling guilty and as though I have failed all of them if I can't meet their expectations. I keep thinking that maybe I should be further along, because they think I should be.
It's very frustrating for me!
Should I be more "back to normal" by now? Is it just that I have gotten into the habit of resting during the day for the past several months?
I just don't know how to reach a compromise regarding what they think I can do...and what I actually can do.
Thank you for listening.
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