Nervous cancer back?

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PamPam2
PamPam2 Member Posts: 370 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hello. I would like to hear from anyone who has had metatastic colon cancer that spread. Mine had spread out of colon, into overy and lymph. This was approx. 4 yrs ago, had it all removed and chemo. Was doing well. Over past year I guess, my energy level and general feeling of well being dropped, most of all over past 3 months. Bowel problems back. Found lump under arm. Had CT scan of abdomin and ultrsound under arm and mamogram last week. Oncologist called me at home twice, has PET scan scheduled for me this Friday. It's really got me nervous, even after all I went through, maybe that is why, having a harder time dealing with this than the first time. Been reading other's posts recently, trying to keep a postive attitude, and you know how it is with some of your friends, they just want to tell you that everything is going to be ok, that the tests will all turn out ok, that your a fighter and will make it. For me this is not helping at this time. Well, I have to drag myself to class now, I am 49 and have been going back to school, to get back into work, that is very hard now with this going on. Be back this evening. Pam

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  • dixchi
    dixchi Member Posts: 431
    #2
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    Hi Pam, my first diagnosis was also easier than the recurrence in 2008. Thot I
    was rid of the beast since my first diagnosis was 2004 and it was Stage 2 with
    no other involvement anywhere. In 2008 it came back to my liver. The ecstasy
    I felt the first time round was not there this time. Overwhelmed with anxiety,
    fear, especially since it hit my liver. Had surgery in July 2008 and then chemo.
    Have been doing ok so far; this afternoon I go for results of CT Scan and CEA check
    first time since chemo ended in Dec. Yep, I am anxious. But some things I have done
    for myself since all this happened: I have gotten into some yoga and guided imagery
    and meditation groups at a local Wellness Center that is a nonprofit organization
    developed by a dr in California years ago for cancer patients and their caregivers.
    It is a wonderful place and just to be with other cancer survivors is such a great
    boost. No one knows what we go through quite as well as other survivors. The Wellness
    Centers are not located everywhere but if you don't have one, contact the local ACS
    chapter and see if they can give you information on other places, even them, who
    are conducting similar groups. The Wellness Center also has support groups that meet
    weekly. Along with this I have started taking an anti depressant
    and I think that helps. It is no easy thing we are going through; it is the fight of
    our life so try lots of things to manage the hardest part of the journey which
    is our own emotions. Prayers that the outcome of your tests, etc. are much better than
    what you are imagining now.

    Hugs,
    Barbara
  • PamPam2
    PamPam2 Member Posts: 370 Member
    #3
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    dixchi said:

    Hi Pam, my first diagnosis was also easier than the recurrence in 2008. Thot I
    was rid of the beast since my first diagnosis was 2004 and it was Stage 2 with
    no other involvement anywhere. In 2008 it came back to my liver. The ecstasy
    I felt the first time round was not there this time. Overwhelmed with anxiety,
    fear, especially since it hit my liver. Had surgery in July 2008 and then chemo.
    Have been doing ok so far; this afternoon I go for results of CT Scan and CEA check
    first time since chemo ended in Dec. Yep, I am anxious. But some things I have done
    for myself since all this happened: I have gotten into some yoga and guided imagery
    and meditation groups at a local Wellness Center that is a nonprofit organization
    developed by a dr in California years ago for cancer patients and their caregivers.
    It is a wonderful place and just to be with other cancer survivors is such a great
    boost. No one knows what we go through quite as well as other survivors. The Wellness
    Centers are not located everywhere but if you don't have one, contact the local ACS
    chapter and see if they can give you information on other places, even them, who
    are conducting similar groups. The Wellness Center also has support groups that meet
    weekly. Along with this I have started taking an anti depressant
    and I think that helps. It is no easy thing we are going through; it is the fight of
    our life so try lots of things to manage the hardest part of the journey which
    is our own emotions. Prayers that the outcome of your tests, etc. are much better than
    what you are imagining now.

    Hugs,
    Barbara

    Thanks Barbara
    Thanks for your words of encouragement Barbara. You are in about the same time frame as me, fall of 2004 stage 4. I will think about a support group, I do believe there are some in my area. I hope your tests come back good too. CEA level does not seem to be a good indicator for me, mine was only 7 when I had the large tumer, and it runs about 3 now. Well, here's hoping for the best! Pam
  • taraHK
    taraHK Member Posts: 1,952 Member
    #4
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    Breathing
    I can certainly understand your anxiety. And, while it might not seem helpful to have people saying "Don't worry, everything will be alright", it is also not good for us to worry about things which haven't happened or which we do not know it. My favorite "mantra", which I learned on this board, is "Feed the faith, fight the fear". And I think all you can do until you get more information is to "feed the faith" and envision a positive outcome. Oh, and also, don't forget to breath. Both in and out (it's the second bit I forget!). I have a scan coming up tomorrow. So I'm breathing, too! We can be faith-feeding buddies....I will be thinking of you.

    Tara
  • sheri22
    sheri22 Member Posts: 273
    #5
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    I have it too
    Hi Pam boy can I relate to you, I had stage 2 colon ca 3 yrs ago did the colon resec, and the chemo everything was fine til a couple of months ago long story short I was dignosed Jan 22 with stage 4 colon ca met spread outside of colon to lung I cried a bucket of tears plus, but I did learn to accept it, have had 2 chemo tx so far, I have been lucky so far feeling good[,whisper ,knock on wood ] and still work 2 days a week, 8 hr shiftr dont know how long I will be this lucky, but prayers, family, good friends and this website plus I did have Dr[ put me on zoloft ] but I have learned life goes on you just have to make the best of it and you will IF it is back once you get over the shock and anger you will fight back too. you fought back once and you will do it again good luck and keep us posted we really do care here this site has helped me so much thru this ps one thing you dont want to do is try reading every thing about it itll drive you nuts too much info out there that is crap

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