Over Freakin Whelmed, AGAIN.

suzjazz

Being overwhelmed
Hi blueroses,
I can relate to feeling overwhelmed as you have described it.
My tried-and-true methods are:
1) try to deal with only one thing at a time
2) only think about getting through tomorrow (or today) not next week, etc.
3) talk to therapist and vent fears and anger
4) meditation (relaxes me so I don't feel as anxious)

I am a cancer survivor (4 years breast cancer) and I have a number of minor chronic health conditions that require frequent doctor visits.
I'm at the point now that i can't even think about scheduling another appointment with a doctor because my schedule is filled with so many. I got stressed out tonight when my BF said he thought that I have sleep apnea because I make that gasping for breath sound when I sleep. He wants me to sign up for a sleep study, but at this point I'd rather have sleep apnea than have to go through the whole rigamarole of tests, getting a CPAP machine or a mouth device to keep airways open. It's a long and flawed process--my BF has it himself and has been through it and is only getting partial relief. I feel bad now because I yelled at him and ran out of the room. He has stomach cancer and I am trying to be supportive of him, and he was only mentioning his concern for MY health.

I have found that reading the stories of others on these boards has helped me see that my problems are not really so serious. They seem overwhelming because I am a perfectionist and feel I have to do everything perfectly--God forbid I should forget a dr. app't!!!
I will always have to struggle with my perfectionism, but it's not as severe as it once was.

You have a lot on your plate and you are managing really well. Hang in there and know that you are not alone.
Hugs,
Suzanne

lynn1950

peggy65 said:

hi everyone, i have just
hi everyone, i have just finished my second "breakdown" this weekend. honestly, i am so vulnerable. i had asked my husband to put up some curtain rods for the new curtains that i had bought for our bedroom. well, i couldn't find the curtains anywhere. they certainly were not where i thought i had put them. i can't remember anything! i am so frustrated and scared by this that i can't deal with anything. i am so overwhelmed. of course my husband's health may have something to do with it. he had a prostate biopsy, that luckily proved to be negative. i am different since i had chemo and radiation. i can't seem to multi task, remember anything have a hard time with work retrieval etc. and i don't feel well, the aromasin makes me hyper and the fatigue YUK! in fact i am sick of the whole thing! sorry for the venting but god, who else understands this business.hugs, peggy

Overwhelmed
Peggy, I wonder how much taking Arimidex has to do with how we are feeling. Are you taking Arimidex? I'm thinking that taking all my estrogen away from me may have something to do with the anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed. Lynn

tiny one

lindaprocopio said:

You'll like THIS one, Blue:
I'm sitting in the Geisinger Cancer clinic with my chemo being pumped into my veins today and my cell phone rings. Guess who? Geisinger Financial! I tell them I am at the clinic getting my chemo; they push on regardless.

HOSPITAL $$ GUY: "Was I aware that on January 1 the new year started and I must again pay my $7,500 annual deductible?"

ME: "That's not the kind of thing I could forget."

HOSPITAL $$ GUY: "Well, you have been getting treatments without having paid that deductible and we need a check from you in that amount."

ME: "I don't think we ever got a bill from you for that from the first January treament, but I can't double-check right now because I have an chemo IV in my arm and am not home."

HOSPITAL $$ GUY: "We wouldn't have billed you personally for that; we billed your insurance. But they won't pay anything until your annual deductible is met. We need your bank routing numbers so you can make a direct cash transfer immediately."

ME: "Here's my husband's cell number. Talk to the man." CLICK.

(Of course my husband immediately did the electronic transfer as soon as we got home from chemo. But really, wouldn't you expect an INVOICE from SOMEONE before you cut a check for $7,500! And the hospital's financial guy was so upset that I was, AT THAT MOMENT, getting $16,000 worth of chemo RIGHT THEN that my insurance company wouldn't pay for until the deductible was met!! HA! HA! HA! I mean, REALLY! They got my $7,500 deductible for 2008; and my insurance has been paying like clockwork, so why should they be freaked out for the 2009 deductible?)

It's not chemo brain; it;s just that they've DRIVEN US CRAZY!!!

bank
Don't give out any bank info over the phone. Tell them to send an itemized bill to you. It's hard enough going thru this let alone someone demanding payment like this. I would complain.

blueroses

suzjazz said:

Being overwhelmed
Hi blueroses,
I can relate to feeling overwhelmed as you have described it.
My tried-and-true methods are:
1) try to deal with only one thing at a time
2) only think about getting through tomorrow (or today) not next week, etc.
3) talk to therapist and vent fears and anger
4) meditation (relaxes me so I don't feel as anxious)

I am a cancer survivor (4 years breast cancer) and I have a number of minor chronic health conditions that require frequent doctor visits.
I'm at the point now that i can't even think about scheduling another appointment with a doctor because my schedule is filled with so many. I got stressed out tonight when my BF said he thought that I have sleep apnea because I make that gasping for breath sound when I sleep. He wants me to sign up for a sleep study, but at this point I'd rather have sleep apnea than have to go through the whole rigamarole of tests, getting a CPAP machine or a mouth device to keep airways open. It's a long and flawed process--my BF has it himself and has been through it and is only getting partial relief. I feel bad now because I yelled at him and ran out of the room. He has stomach cancer and I am trying to be supportive of him, and he was only mentioning his concern for MY health.

I have found that reading the stories of others on these boards has helped me see that my problems are not really so serious. They seem overwhelming because I am a perfectionist and feel I have to do everything perfectly--God forbid I should forget a dr. app't!!!
I will always have to struggle with my perfectionism, but it's not as severe as it once was.

You have a lot on your plate and you are managing really well. Hang in there and know that you are not alone.
Hugs,
Suzanne

Good advice Suzanne
Hi there, I haven't been on the boards much lately as I am still struggling with overwhelming health situations. Like you my calendar is just full of doctors appointments and for me 2 hour Pre Ops for the 2 surgeries I have to have soon. After that there are a couple of other painful procedures, this really has been an unusually heavy medical time for me. Unfortunately I can't do one thing at a time as one thing sets up issues with the next thing as I have a heart problem so there are anesthetic complications, or potentially so. I did my best and saw my cardiologist first, he wasn't as helpful as I would have liked because I keep thinking that they are missing something with my heart (sometimes they find one problem and then don't look for the possibility of another issue too - not just in cardiology) so going under anesthesia is even more stressful for me as I think they are missing something. Anywho Monday I have a PreOp that will last 2 hours so I will express my issues then and hope for the best. Let's just hope that in the maze of procedures they don't find something else yet.

I am sorry to hear that your boyfriend has cancer as well, that must be so difficult for both of you. You both have to be very forgiving of each other as you will both have your down times for sure, as you no doubt have already found. Try and be easy on yourself if you lash out from time to time, I am sure you are both trying your best. You are both in my prayers. Thanks for the suggestions though, they are good ones. Blessings, Blueroses.

blueroses

lindaprocopio said:

You'll like THIS one, Blue:
I'm sitting in the Geisinger Cancer clinic with my chemo being pumped into my veins today and my cell phone rings. Guess who? Geisinger Financial! I tell them I am at the clinic getting my chemo; they push on regardless.

HOSPITAL $$ GUY: "Was I aware that on January 1 the new year started and I must again pay my $7,500 annual deductible?"

ME: "That's not the kind of thing I could forget."

HOSPITAL $$ GUY: "Well, you have been getting treatments without having paid that deductible and we need a check from you in that amount."

ME: "I don't think we ever got a bill from you for that from the first January treament, but I can't double-check right now because I have an chemo IV in my arm and am not home."

HOSPITAL $$ GUY: "We wouldn't have billed you personally for that; we billed your insurance. But they won't pay anything until your annual deductible is met. We need your bank routing numbers so you can make a direct cash transfer immediately."

ME: "Here's my husband's cell number. Talk to the man." CLICK.

(Of course my husband immediately did the electronic transfer as soon as we got home from chemo. But really, wouldn't you expect an INVOICE from SOMEONE before you cut a check for $7,500! And the hospital's financial guy was so upset that I was, AT THAT MOMENT, getting $16,000 worth of chemo RIGHT THEN that my insurance company wouldn't pay for until the deductible was met!! HA! HA! HA! I mean, REALLY! They got my $7,500 deductible for 2008; and my insurance has been paying like clockwork, so why should they be freaked out for the 2009 deductible?)

It's not chemo brain; it;s just that they've DRIVEN US CRAZY!!!

Nope, don't like that one at all Linda
If I were you I would contact some really high profile talk show, perferably tv in your area and have them do a discovery on this company like they do with 60 Minutes and ask them how they can be demanding money from someone who is at that very moment undergoing chemo. For the love of God that is the most horrendous thing I have ever heard. Talk about no heart. Sounds like they were totally in the wrong about not sending you an invoice which makes it doubly wrong. I would write a scathing letter at the very least to this company but I would also write, at the very least as well, a letter to the Editor of the largest paper you can find telling them the whole story too. It isn't about revenge or getting back at them, it's about saving some other poor patient from being put through an indignity as you were. I believe incidents like this are a gift to us, to show us that there is work to do in a particular area and with the experience we need to reach out and try to alert others to the injustice of that kind of treatment. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Well my blood pressure is up now. Dang, that sucks. Hugs Linda, Blueroses

blueroses

Pnktopaz10 said:

Peggy
I too am sorry that you are having a hard time of it. Chemo brain is very frustrating. I went to my 40th class reunion and do not remember a thing about it. My retirement party is a blur. i spend half my time looking for stuff because I cannot remember where I put it. Multi-task forget it. But, I am here to tell you that it is getting better. Baby steps. My fog is slowly lifting and with it my frustration. What I have found to be helpful is to play scrabble or something like that`it makes me think. Blue is right to do what you love to get your mind off of problems. Even if it is just for a little bit of time it really does help. Hugs, Pnktopaz

I just got a call from my son who is 23 and lives a couple of provinces over from me. He is starting out on his own for just over a year now and keeps in touch often which is great. Tonight he was calling me from a store because he was invited to an 80ties theme party, he has been having trouble making new friends so this is a big deal for him. He was calling me because he likes to share with me, love that, but also because he knows I lived through the 80ties and would appreciate knowing about the party. I started to get flashbacks of the 80ties and after that started to wonder about all the memory issues I had but at least the long term ones were still there and absolutely help me in down times when I can't find my keys for the millionth time. Just a little thing maybe but something I am grateful for, still remember the good times. Blueroses