New to site

fighting for mom

Hello- I am new to the site. My mom was diagnosed the Friday before Thanksgiving 08 with a 3 X 2 leison- ulcerative obstruction with resection that following Monday. She spent a week in the hospital. Her surgeon diagnosed Stage 3 with no lymph node involvement. She had her port placed that next Friday. Her oncologist staged her as Stage 2. So- who knows? I don't understand how they can diagnose different stages. She has finally had her 2nd round of 5FU. Her counts were way off prior to her second round so had to wait 1 week extra. She got her first round of Neulasta this last Friday. She also started amend (sp?) for nauseau.

It seems there have been roadblocks every step of the way. But, she is making it. She is having very different symptoms with the second round than with the first. She describes it as a black fog that comes and goes. She has red blotches on her cheeks. She also has to drink everything at room temp- but is finally able to eat pretty much what she wants now.

She is still trying to work to keep her health insurance benefits and with her FMLA time- I think she will make it through the 12 rounds. She is able to work on her good days and stay home if not feeling well. I am so thankful that her employer is being so supportive of her. Her spirits are usually pretty good- she has such a good strong faith and supportive family but, I know this has been so difficult for her.

Cancer sure does hit hard- the loved one fighting it, the family who is fighting for them, friends... I am sure worried about my Mom's emotional being. She said today she wasn't sure she could make it through the other 10 treatments if it was going to make her feel so 'terrible'.

I pray she toughs it out and beats this thing!

Buzzard

sounds as if she is doing ok with it......
Its hard to tolerate chemo because of the way it makes you feel....The cold intolerance is with the platin types of chemo (oxilaplatin) which you feel pain instead of cold...about 50-55 degrees seems to be the normal range where it starts to hurt or tingle.

Emend is one of the best anti nausea meds around that I know of so far and I am coming up on my 10th of 12 treatments next Monday (post op). Almost home and she will be too soon..

The neulasta is usually a one shot that builds up the white blood count necessary to keep the immune system working. Neupagen is another way to boost it but it is a series of 3 shots in which its 1 every day for 3 days in a row...does the same thing...
There are a lot of us that use mild depression meds just to allow ourselves to not dwell on what is taking place in our lives as far as health is concerned and for each it varies. Some are fine without meds for depression, but tell her not to be afraid to ask her dr about the possibility of them if she thinks it might help her cope...
........and yes dear, the caregiver (you) sometimes I think has a harder time than the patient because of the feeling of helplessness sometimes that they get...but you are a solid figure of hope in her life and smiles (although sometimes hard to come up with ) are a very healing act to anyone in need of re assurance. Its like a ray of Hope or Sunshine, its a positive .......God Bless you for being there for her and Bless her for having you to take care of her.....You and Her alike will be fine, just comfort and console and before you know it it will be part of the past for you both.... :-)

Unknown

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

msccolon

your mother
She is not alone. We have been there and totally understand what she is feeling. It IS hard to get used to a new normal of yuck! However, we figure out that we are in a battle that we expect to win, and if feeling like crap is part of that battle, then bring it on! Your mother is still in the beginning of this battle, a battle that's very hard. With your support she will get through. If she needs to speak to a counselor to discuss any fears/anger/whatever then ask her onc for a referral to someone who specialized in cancer survivorship. And as Buzzard mentioned, sometimes a little medication can help. Whatever helps her get through! We are here for you and your mother, come often.
mary

kimby

Support
I just know from your posting that she will weather this with all the support she is getting from you! Families have a hard role and she will benefit from your spirit and love. Good luck, come often, ask questions...she (and you) are not alone.

Kimby

Shayenne

kimby said:

Support
I just know from your posting that she will weather this with all the support she is getting from you! Families have a hard role and she will benefit from your spirit and love. Good luck, come often, ask questions...she (and you) are not alone.

Kimby

Keep on her!
I also was newly diagnosed just a couple weeks ago, and thank god I came here, I start chemo soon, and these people all on here have been so wonderful and supportive, and great for my emotional being, keep encouraging your mom that she can get through it, have her focus on other things, I know it's easier said then done, but if I haven't come here first, I wouldn't know what to expect. Coming to this forum, has mentally prepared me for everything, and when I get down, I know someone here can lift me right back up to keep the positive energy flowing. I sometimes get discouraged as well, and I haven't even started chemo yet, but I just look at my family and know I want to beat the crap out of this thing for putting us through this! Tell her to keep strong, she will get sicker before she gets better, but it will be worth it tell her!

Hugsss to you all!
~Donna

kmygil

Mom & Chemo
Hi Sweetie,

How lucky your Mom is to have such a supportive daughter! Caregivers have the hardest job, in my opinion.

Just a little personal observation here...If the effects are too horrible, they can lower the dosage slightly; it helped me and others. Also, she should not be disheartened if a treatment has to be delayed a week or two; it gives the body time to rebuild so it can tolerate more chemo.

Yes, the warm or room temperature thing gets old, but it's better than drinking something cold and feeling like glass shards are going down your throat! Also, monitor any fevers and flu-like symptoms and see a doctor immediately if any fever is over 101 or if chills persist.

The main advice, though, is hydration, hydration, hydration. Also nutrition, nutrition, nutrition. If she keeps hydrated and has adequate nutrition, she can minimize a lot of adverse effects.

You are an angel to your Mom. Stay sweet and loving,

Hugs and prayers,
Kirsten

krystiesq

mom's caregiver
I'm my mom's caregiver too, though my mom is stage IV and was dx in '07. Be her ears, eyes and courage when she needs it. We daughters have a special bond with our mothers, use it.

maglets

krystiesq said:

mom's caregiver
I'm my mom's caregiver too, though my mom is stage IV and was dx in '07. Be her ears, eyes and courage when she needs it. We daughters have a special bond with our mothers, use it.

so good you are there
How great for your mom to have a good caregiver. It's good maybe not thinking about all 12 treatments.....just get through one at a time. The 5FU may accumulate so her symptons could change each time. I don't know where you live....north or south but 5FU can make you super super sensitive to the sun and burn very quickly. Also 5FU can cause issues with the skin.....the skin on my face peeled off several times.....it was like having free dermabrasion:):)

Welcome to this site and please stay in touch.

All the best'
Maggie

fighting for mom

maglets said:

so good you are there
How great for your mom to have a good caregiver. It's good maybe not thinking about all 12 treatments.....just get through one at a time. The 5FU may accumulate so her symptons could change each time. I don't know where you live....north or south but 5FU can make you super super sensitive to the sun and burn very quickly. Also 5FU can cause issues with the skin.....the skin on my face peeled off several times.....it was like having free dermabrasion:):)

Welcome to this site and please stay in touch.

All the best'
Maggie

Thank you
Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement! You all have such inspiring spirits which I have shared with my Mom. It gives her a ray of hope knowing that she is not the only one with these 'wierd' symptoms from the 5FU. She has been getting a full body massage the night before she starts each round to help relax-- I'll have to tell her about the dermabrasion

Thanks so much for the encouragement!
Susan

msccolon

maglets said:

so good you are there
How great for your mom to have a good caregiver. It's good maybe not thinking about all 12 treatments.....just get through one at a time. The 5FU may accumulate so her symptons could change each time. I don't know where you live....north or south but 5FU can make you super super sensitive to the sun and burn very quickly. Also 5FU can cause issues with the skin.....the skin on my face peeled off several times.....it was like having free dermabrasion:):)

Welcome to this site and please stay in touch.

All the best'
Maggie

Free dermabrasion
Like they say, there's always a silver lining! I have keratosis pilaris, which gives me tiny bumps on my skin and when I am on chemo, it forces my skin to slough, so i don't have the bumps! My skin is the softest it ever is!
mary

msccolon

fighting for mom said:

Thank you
Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement! You all have such inspiring spirits which I have shared with my Mom. It gives her a ray of hope knowing that she is not the only one with these 'wierd' symptoms from the 5FU. She has been getting a full body massage the night before she starts each round to help relax-- I'll have to tell her about the dermabrasion

Thanks so much for the encouragement!
Susan

massage
That is one of the BEST things she can do to treat herself! I was doing that before my co-pay kicked back in!
mary