The Hits just keep on coming
dorookie
Member Posts: 1,731 Member
Hi everyone,
Well today was a tough one for me. I was called into work to talk to my boss. I was a bit worried because I didnt know what he could possible want. I thought maybe he just wanted to see me and see how I was doing. Well I was wrong. He sat me down and asked me if I might want to step down, to give up my supervisor position, just got promoted last year. I am currently on a one year probationary time, where he could just let me go for no reason if he wanted to, not being fired just not being a supervisor anymore. He said he needed his supervisors to be able to give 120% and that now was a time that I needed to concentrate on my health more so then my career. He knows me pretty well and I usually give 150%, that is just how I am made, pretty much a workaholic, but it has been for the good and bad, being as driven as I am has allowed me to be promoted as quickly as I have, but it has also come at a price. The price being time away from my family, stress and my health. Needlessly to say I was devistated and started crying right there in his office. As a manager I totally understand where he is coming from but as a very proud person it kills me to think that I might have to give up my position, one that cost me alot to get. Of course he gave me sometime to think it over and get back to him later. I wouldnt lose any money, it would be just losing the title. I know people will say, well if your not losing money why not just do it, and I can see why that is said, its just a very hard thing for me personnally.
I started to digest the conversation after I got home and told Wendy what had happened. At first I was mad and very negative, and WEndy said to me, lets try and find something positive about this instead of the bad things. I said okay, so we threw around somethings, like doind the Pros and Cons, and actually stepping down would be less stressful, I dont lose money, less hours, and I would be stepping back into my old position that I can do with my eyes closed. As we talked more, my thoughts turned to what I think maybe God's plan for me. In stepping down I would have more time to focus on ME, that is something I have never done and actually have to learn to do. I think God has been trying to tell me or show me something through all of this. Maybe the reason for this cancer is to show me a different way of life, to put me back on the right or better path for my life. I dont know what the reason is for sure, but some how all of this seems to make sense to me. I know I need to be closer to God, and I know this will sound like a lame excuse but I never had time for church or anything like that. My job takes up almost ALL of my time and what little is left I gave to my family, so there was no time for me much less for God.
I am still trying to figure out what is going on in my head, why the things that are happening are happening. I feel like I can see some light at the end of the tunnel and that I am going in the right direction. Not sure what that direction is or why, but it just feels right, and again cant explain it anyother way, its just a feeling I have.
I feel like I am making some progress, like things are starting to clear up. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am feeling better. I went to my Cancer group tonight and I felt so good afterwards, I feel like fighting again, like there is hope, like I am not going through this for no reason, and that I am not alone, that I can do this, that I will be alive for many years to come.
I would like to thank everyone here on this board! You all have given me so much support and showed so much love. I dont know what I would have done without this board. Thank you Lord for this board and everyone that is here!
Well I will stop rambling for now, but will continue to write and be here, thats one promise I made to Buzzard that I will always keep!
Good Night and God Bless
Beth
Well today was a tough one for me. I was called into work to talk to my boss. I was a bit worried because I didnt know what he could possible want. I thought maybe he just wanted to see me and see how I was doing. Well I was wrong. He sat me down and asked me if I might want to step down, to give up my supervisor position, just got promoted last year. I am currently on a one year probationary time, where he could just let me go for no reason if he wanted to, not being fired just not being a supervisor anymore. He said he needed his supervisors to be able to give 120% and that now was a time that I needed to concentrate on my health more so then my career. He knows me pretty well and I usually give 150%, that is just how I am made, pretty much a workaholic, but it has been for the good and bad, being as driven as I am has allowed me to be promoted as quickly as I have, but it has also come at a price. The price being time away from my family, stress and my health. Needlessly to say I was devistated and started crying right there in his office. As a manager I totally understand where he is coming from but as a very proud person it kills me to think that I might have to give up my position, one that cost me alot to get. Of course he gave me sometime to think it over and get back to him later. I wouldnt lose any money, it would be just losing the title. I know people will say, well if your not losing money why not just do it, and I can see why that is said, its just a very hard thing for me personnally.
I started to digest the conversation after I got home and told Wendy what had happened. At first I was mad and very negative, and WEndy said to me, lets try and find something positive about this instead of the bad things. I said okay, so we threw around somethings, like doind the Pros and Cons, and actually stepping down would be less stressful, I dont lose money, less hours, and I would be stepping back into my old position that I can do with my eyes closed. As we talked more, my thoughts turned to what I think maybe God's plan for me. In stepping down I would have more time to focus on ME, that is something I have never done and actually have to learn to do. I think God has been trying to tell me or show me something through all of this. Maybe the reason for this cancer is to show me a different way of life, to put me back on the right or better path for my life. I dont know what the reason is for sure, but some how all of this seems to make sense to me. I know I need to be closer to God, and I know this will sound like a lame excuse but I never had time for church or anything like that. My job takes up almost ALL of my time and what little is left I gave to my family, so there was no time for me much less for God.
I am still trying to figure out what is going on in my head, why the things that are happening are happening. I feel like I can see some light at the end of the tunnel and that I am going in the right direction. Not sure what that direction is or why, but it just feels right, and again cant explain it anyother way, its just a feeling I have.
I feel like I am making some progress, like things are starting to clear up. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am feeling better. I went to my Cancer group tonight and I felt so good afterwards, I feel like fighting again, like there is hope, like I am not going through this for no reason, and that I am not alone, that I can do this, that I will be alive for many years to come.
I would like to thank everyone here on this board! You all have given me so much support and showed so much love. I dont know what I would have done without this board. Thank you Lord for this board and everyone that is here!
Well I will stop rambling for now, but will continue to write and be here, thats one promise I made to Buzzard that I will always keep!
Good Night and God Bless
Beth
0
Comments
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Wonderful
If coming into a relationship with God were all you got out of this experience.... than WOW you have been blessed! It may well be that it is HE who calling and leading you closer to Himself and His plan for your life! It's wonderful that you're aware of the drawing and peace it provides:)Praying for you and thrilled that you are feeling better!0 -
another way to look at itchanging2 said:Wonderful
If coming into a relationship with God were all you got out of this experience.... than WOW you have been blessed! It may well be that it is HE who calling and leading you closer to Himself and His plan for your life! It's wonderful that you're aware of the drawing and peace it provides:)Praying for you and thrilled that you are feeling better!
Dear Beth; your post really struck a chord with me because recently we had a very similar thing happen to us except that we are older than you. The company where my husband works declared they had to have one less reporter and a young gal was given notice. My hubby thought...I hate to see this young gal lose her job, Maggie is starting another round of chemo, I would have more time at home....maybe I should volunteer to go. So he did just that Beth and it has been great.....lots more time for one another and family and friends. he gets me out walking every day and life just seems a little more relaxed.
I wonder if you could look at this as a serious time to let go a little...all the things you've been thinking,,,,more time for you and family, more time for health....less stress and no reduction in income. It all sounds good.
I am so glad you are starting to feel a little better
Best best wishes,
Mags0 -
Right Trackmaglets said:another way to look at it
Dear Beth; your post really struck a chord with me because recently we had a very similar thing happen to us except that we are older than you. The company where my husband works declared they had to have one less reporter and a young gal was given notice. My hubby thought...I hate to see this young gal lose her job, Maggie is starting another round of chemo, I would have more time at home....maybe I should volunteer to go. So he did just that Beth and it has been great.....lots more time for one another and family and friends. he gets me out walking every day and life just seems a little more relaxed.
I wonder if you could look at this as a serious time to let go a little...all the things you've been thinking,,,,more time for you and family, more time for health....less stress and no reduction in income. It all sounds good.
I am so glad you are starting to feel a little better
Best best wishes,
Mags
AFter some sad stories of horrible bosses and people losing their jobs, your
event with your boss sounds wonderful. You are very fortunate to have such
an understanding boss. It would seem you would have more time and energy to
devote to family and your healing journey if you did move to your old job.
which is comfortable and doable territory. Am so glad your are getting a few
breaks coming your way now.0 -
so glad
Hi Beth,
Reading your post took my own emotions up and down. First, reading about what your boss said to you made my heart sink. Then, after you relayed that it would not be losing a job and you'd not have a cut in pay, my heart definitely cheered up again. This could actually be a big blessing in disguise. It sounds as if you're starting to think of it in that way.
I was so upset when I had to quit my job (I'm a teacher & I can't do 5th grade math, etc. with chemo brain!). Anyhow, I've now come to realize it's been a blessing to me, to my kids, etc. I'm getting disability through my retirement fund, so we're able to be okay financially. The positive for me is that I'm SO much less stressed than any time I can remember in years and years. I had dinner with some teacher friends of mine yesterday and hearing all the crap that goes on just made my stomach start churning again. When I left, I was glad I had seen my friends, but SO glad I didn't have to worry about all that stuff right now. I'm starting to see in my life that God has allowed me to slow down, enjoy my family, and have a lot more ME time than ever before.
So, I'm hoping that's how it will work out for you.
I'm so glad, also, to hear you sounding so upbeat towards the end of your post. Glad your support group meeting went well and that you're feeling like you want to fight!
Take care and look up!!!!!!
Have a good day!
Lisa0 -
great news!
i can imagine you were really disappointed at first hearing what your boss had to say, but sounds like in processing you are beginning to understand the blessing in it. You know the saying, nobody ever gets to heaven and regrets the time spent away from work! Take the time to focus on what SHOULD be your main focus; yourself and your loved ones! Start doing the things that will decrease stress in your life and increase enjoyment! Your boss sounds like a very insightful man and hopefully this will wind up being the springboard for you into peace and healing!
mary0 -
wow deja vu
I went through the same experience shortly after dx and during treatment. At first I was very upset, like you. Than I started to experience the pro's that you mention. I kept my pay, less stress and time to focus on me when it was most needed. It really took me quite awhile to see the gift that I'd been handed instead of what I thought had been 'done' to me.
Now having returned to the rat race a year after ending treatment, I'd like to find a way back to that simpler working time. It really is a gift of perspective that we seem to lose in the bustle of life...
best of health to you.
Cheers.0 -
Hi,
I am new to this sight.
Hi,
I am new to this sight. I experienced almost the same thing you did today. My boss called me into her office and asked me if this was a job that I really wanted. I love my job! I am having problems doing things that I have done for a long time. I am slow because it takes me longer to figure things out, then I forget what I was trying to figure out, and I get tired. I am also a single mom (17 yrs daughter and 13 yrs old daughter). I write things down and send myself emails to remember things. I have explained things to my boss and thought she understood.I finished chemo in August (32 treatments, 6 weeks of radiation and 3 surgeries)and started back to work in September. I don't know if things and emotions are catching up to me (my dad passed away 1 week before I was diagnosed)or if I took on to much to soon.
mkkuehn0 -
Informationmkkuehn said:Hi,
I am new to this sight.
Hi,
I am new to this sight. I experienced almost the same thing you did today. My boss called me into her office and asked me if this was a job that I really wanted. I love my job! I am having problems doing things that I have done for a long time. I am slow because it takes me longer to figure things out, then I forget what I was trying to figure out, and I get tired. I am also a single mom (17 yrs daughter and 13 yrs old daughter). I write things down and send myself emails to remember things. I have explained things to my boss and thought she understood.I finished chemo in August (32 treatments, 6 weeks of radiation and 3 surgeries)and started back to work in September. I don't know if things and emotions are catching up to me (my dad passed away 1 week before I was diagnosed)or if I took on to much to soon.
mkkuehn
HI There I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. But I know what you are going through except I dont have children at home anymore. Please research and find out what your employer can and can not do. From what I have read, everything my boss did was illegal, he cant do what he is trying to pressure me to do. I believe he knows it too but he is trying to push me around. For me though it might benefit me one because I wont be losing any pay. There are lots of rules when it comes to dealing with cancer patients. I do know that things happen and bosses sometimes get away with doing these things, but if you have some information on your side you will be better prepared to fight, ya know.
I am so sorry for the loss of your father, I sure hope you are able to see someone and talk things out. Please know I will keep you in my prayers.
God Bless
Beth0 -
Im so proud of you DOROOKIE....dorookie said:Information
HI There I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. But I know what you are going through except I dont have children at home anymore. Please research and find out what your employer can and can not do. From what I have read, everything my boss did was illegal, he cant do what he is trying to pressure me to do. I believe he knows it too but he is trying to push me around. For me though it might benefit me one because I wont be losing any pay. There are lots of rules when it comes to dealing with cancer patients. I do know that things happen and bosses sometimes get away with doing these things, but if you have some information on your side you will be better prepared to fight, ya know.
I am so sorry for the loss of your father, I sure hope you are able to see someone and talk things out. Please know I will keep you in my prayers.
God Bless
Beth
In the 5 days or so I have been weather bound you have made a complete turnaround of everything you feared and worried about. You are taking the advocate side of this now and only for me to be gone for a few days and come back in new am I able to reallyyyyy notice a big change in your attitude, behavior and sentiment about things. I like the new you and I bet everyone else does also....you wear it so well...keep up the good work sweetie....God Bless ya both....0 -
BETH --- BLESSING IN
Hey Beth: I honestly think you're looking at a Blessing in Disguise.....However, I fully understand where you're coming from regarding your position. When I was at the Sheriff's Dep't. I would feel the same way. I always gave 150%, no matter what, and if something remotely similar to your situation happened, I guess it was my pride that kicked me in the butt.....Just don't want to lose those "Positions" do we. Looking back now.....under doctor's care ref. stress, putting up w/ the politics side of it, (Inner office) etc., I do believe when I simply walked out, God was pushing me and saying, "Hurry". My health changed for the better and my peace of mind was back....the world had been lifted off my shoulders...Yes, I dearly loved Law Enforcement and communicating w/ the public...just remembering officers calling in to tell me they were glad I was working their shift....all that meant so darned much to me.........but finally,....I had time for family, myself and some rest. As you probably did, I 'brought my work home w/ me'.....(a big NO NO)
So,my friend, if just stepping down in position only, keeping your pay, and in these days, EVEN KEEPING YOUR JOB, is what God wants for you, then REJOICE and ENJOY.
I can see so, so mamy changes in your attitude -- all positive and for the good. What turned you around? I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. Keep up the good work and
GOD BLESS,
Marygale0
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