#9 Monday

funnyguy

keep counting them down!
Great for you!!!

Buzzard

polarprincess said:

hi
HI buzzard.. i go for round 6 out of 8 on monday.. i will be thinking of you sitting in my chair..I too am seeing the light at the end....oh what a glorious day!!

Yes it is.......
Good for you Polar Princess......its a great feeling getting close......Its suppose to start nasty weather tonight here and I was worried if I couldn't get in til Thursday would I have to do this one over ......nope....the 2nd day is leucouvrin and doesn't have to be done but helps if it is....so # 9 almost done... :-)

VickiCO

msccolon said:

prayer
Vicki, I am praying for peace on this issue. I know you are afraid of all the possible outcomes of this surgery, probably the main one being a colostomy. While radiation and chemo aren't pleasant, their side effects aren't generally permanent, and thus easier to handle emotionally. The possibility that surgery might leave you with a permanent change to your life is probably what is scaring you. Just know that God has brought you through thus far and remain with you through the end. WHATEVER the outcome, it will be the best and you will have the strength and support you need when you need it. Focus on today. Today, I will get out of bed and enjoy my loved ones. Take some Ativan if it helps to relieve your anxiety, it certainly does mine when I start in with the what ifs. Once the anxiety goes away I am able to remember all the times God has been there for me and know that means He will be there for me into the future. I remember to just move through today and to be thankful for everything that I experienced, just today. Tomorrow, well that has to be left for tomorrow.
mary

Thanks Mary
You know, I don't think I am worried about the colostomy (pretty sure it's going to happen, and that doesn't scare me) but more the surgery itself - pain, recovery, and frankly, being put under. My son-in-law is an anesthesiologist, so you's think I would be OK...but it just started to bother me. It goes back to the control-freak thing that I have. When I was told I can't really have my laptop there and work while I am in the hospital (At least I tried!) it became real. I am working on it, but your prayers are very welcome.

Vicki

dorookie

VickiCO said:

I'm hanging on...
Buzzard, First I have to get through the surgery. For some reason, I am more afraid of that than the chemo. As it gets closer (Feb 4) I just want to run away. I have never felt this way before. I don't know how to get past it...

Vicki

You can do it
Vicki,
You will be fine and the surgery will be just a memory before you know it. I know the fear, this last surgery on my lung was very scary to me. I told my surgeon before the surgery Dont let me DIE, she reassured me I would not die and that things would be fine. ANd everything turned out just fine.

Just try to think of it as taking a nice long nap, and when you wake up there will be lots of people there to take care of you. Take advantage of not having to do house work or any kind of work for a few days. That how I looked at it, that and all the good drugs your going to get..LOL

I will be praying for you as well as many others, so I feel very confident that you will be fine. I will say an extra special prayer for you that God will allow you to have peace during this time.

You wont be alone, we will all be with you in our thoughts and sending lots of healing hugs to you.

Good Luck
God Bless
Beth

dorookie

Buzzard said:

Yes it is.......
Good for you Polar Princess......its a great feeling getting close......Its suppose to start nasty weather tonight here and I was worried if I couldn't get in til Thursday would I have to do this one over ......nope....the 2nd day is leucouvrin and doesn't have to be done but helps if it is....so # 9 almost done... :-)

Picture
Where is your pic, Buzzard?

VickiCO

dorookie said:

You can do it
Vicki,
You will be fine and the surgery will be just a memory before you know it. I know the fear, this last surgery on my lung was very scary to me. I told my surgeon before the surgery Dont let me DIE, she reassured me I would not die and that things would be fine. ANd everything turned out just fine.

Just try to think of it as taking a nice long nap, and when you wake up there will be lots of people there to take care of you. Take advantage of not having to do house work or any kind of work for a few days. That how I looked at it, that and all the good drugs your going to get..LOL

I will be praying for you as well as many others, so I feel very confident that you will be fine. I will say an extra special prayer for you that God will allow you to have peace during this time.

You wont be alone, we will all be with you in our thoughts and sending lots of healing hugs to you.

Good Luck
God Bless
Beth

Thanks Beth
I am getting better about this. My son-in-law spent a great deal of time going over all the drugs and what effects, and the fact that I'll get my favorite cocktail (Versed & Fentynal sp?) at the beginning and end, so I won't remember anything or care about anything. I do appreciate the prayers. This is just one more step towards NED, right?

Vicki

dorookie

VickiCO said:

Thanks Beth
I am getting better about this. My son-in-law spent a great deal of time going over all the drugs and what effects, and the fact that I'll get my favorite cocktail (Versed & Fentynal sp?) at the beginning and end, so I won't remember anything or care about anything. I do appreciate the prayers. This is just one more step towards NED, right?

Vicki

Your SO RIGHT
Just one more step closer to being NED! I am excited for ya, before you know it you will be a pro and telling others how easy the surgery was. Good Luck and keep us posted, please!

God Bless
Beth

lisa42

the light at the end of the tunnel
I'm sure you can now see the light at the end of the tunnel!
Keep going towards the light!

lisa42

VickiCO said:

Thanks Mary
You know, I don't think I am worried about the colostomy (pretty sure it's going to happen, and that doesn't scare me) but more the surgery itself - pain, recovery, and frankly, being put under. My son-in-law is an anesthesiologist, so you's think I would be OK...but it just started to bother me. It goes back to the control-freak thing that I have. When I was told I can't really have my laptop there and work while I am in the hospital (At least I tried!) it became real. I am working on it, but your prayers are very welcome.

Vicki

Vicki
Hi Vicki,

I can totally relate to being scared of surgery. I didn't have the rectal/colon resection surgery, but I did have a liver resection (I now sport a lovely 8 inch curved scar).
I was so scared- I'd never had any kind of surgery before & had only been in the hospital before when I had my babies. I had myself freaked out and convinced that I was going to die on the operating table. I actually had a dream that I died & this is what had me so freaked out. After much praying (and coming to peace that everyone would end up okay if I actually did die), I was given a very real sense of peace and comfort that I was not going to die, but would be okay!
Well... not only did I not die (!), but the surgery went very smoothly and was actually finished a hour sooner than the six hours they predicted. I healed more quickly than was expected, too. I learned that God is in control and when we let our worries and emotions take over without giving those worries over to Him, then it's much harder (probably impossible) to experience the sense of peace and love that God wants for us to have.

I'm praying for peace and a calm for you going into surgery. Remember as you go into surgery, that He's holding your hand, and will be guiding the hands of the surgeon, nurses, etc.- I'll be praying for that for you!