after breast cancer treatment
Comments
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Marathon
Bless Your Heart! Your story is not unlike most of us here~ and a lot of it stems from women oftentimes being nurturers, and not used to being taken care of. (This is of course with apologies to all of the wonderfully nurturing men, and you know who you are!)
Someone once likened post treatment to being a marathoner who broke both legs and has been in a full body cast for a year. It would be HIGHLY unlikely that the day the cast came off that she would run the NYC marathon! No matter how much she remembers what she used to do, and what she hopes to do in the future, she literally has to take baby-steps. Physically and emotionally she would not be up to the challenge. And would anyone hold it against her if she had to train, take her time, pace herself, and be ready for NEXT YEARS marathon? I'm sure you get the picture...
I know you will be there for your husband~this was certainly something you didn't expect. I feel certain you can and will rise to the occasion~ this for better/worse, sickness/health does get put to the test, doesn't it?!
Feel free to post ...we are an amazing group of men and women who know what you are going through!
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
thanks for your support
thanks for your support since i just joined this morning, i am so grateful to have heard from someone so soon. u really think that we are clueless to the journey of after treatment challenges. i have found in my area there are not many services for after treatment support. i am so happy to have found csn and look forward to talking with many of you.0 -
That is the good thing about
That is the good thing about an online support group, you can live anywhere and go online and get support. Don't even have to leave the house if you feel sick. It takes awhile to regain yourself. Don't rush it, just let it happen. It's ok to not do everything you used to do. Just do what you can.0 -
Welcome Peggy!!peggy65 said:thanks for your support
thanks for your support since i just joined this morning, i am so grateful to have heard from someone so soon. u really think that we are clueless to the journey of after treatment challenges. i have found in my area there are not many services for after treatment support. i am so happy to have found csn and look forward to talking with many of you.
So glad you joined this network. i am also new, just had surgery Dec. 2nd and 9 days into my first Chemo treatment. But i have found that these cool sisters in pink are so helpful and caring.
I have just been told for my own sake I should not work for awhile...as i work in a Hospital and being around live viruses is not exactly beneficial for my white blood count. I am going a little stir crazy sitting at home, and a lot guilty for not being able to "take care" of my house and family.
I woke up this morning and decided i would do at least one thing a day to make myself happy..even if just calling a friend, going out for lunch or taking a bubble bath. We need to take care of ourselves first and that is something we are not used to. If your body needs time to rejuvenate then take time to rest. The more rested and rejuvenated you become the more you will have to give to your hubby, whom i'm sure also wants this for you. Your love and support is probably all he really needs now. If needed ask family/friends to help out....they need to be needed also.
My prayers go out to you and your husband.
Jackie0 -
Who You Are
I don't feel like doing much myself. I finished chemo in March, radiation in early August and Herceptin in December. But there are some things I MAKE myself do because I know they are good for me.
One thing is swimming. I go once or twice each week. My oldest son was throwing a fit yesterday because he had to re-write 9 sentences three times each. You would have thought I asked him to write a dissertation (hmm..how do you spell that?). I told him that sometimes I feel like that as I'm heading to the pool. I'm tired, I'm fatigued, I'd rather not go. Plus it's below zero outside. But once I get through it, I do feel better.
You will find something. Just keep looking. Continue to pace yourself. And continue to give yourself grace for each moment. Sometimes we do backpedal. Sometimes it feels as if the wheels are spinning and we're going nowhere. And then sometimes, often out of the blue, we do something (that once seemed so trivial, but now seems like a monumental task) and we surprise ourselves. (Like doing the dishes!)
I'll be praying for a good report for your husband and that you will discover that you are defined, not by what you do, but by who you are.
Chelle0 -
Welcome Peggy to the club no
Welcome Peggy to the club no one wants to join. LOL. We need to find some humor in all of this or we would all go crazy. It sometimes is difficult to adjust to life after treatment. I think as we were going through everything we had a definition of what we would do every day and now all of a sudden we don't have that. You will feel fatigued for a while. Your body has been put through a lot so it does take some time to recover. Try to eat healthy foods, take a multi vitamin and if you can go out and do some exercise. Whether it's a walk around the block or walking around the mall, it does help and you will feel better once you start. I'm praying all goes well with your husband and please keep us posted. Hugs, Lili0 -
Hi Peggy, I feel the same
Hi Peggy, I feel the same way and it's been 2 yr since tx. I find I don't care about some things I used to think were important and sometimes it worries me. My standards have definitely been lowered. But you are worried about your husband and I think that has an impact on your well being. Do you think you could be a little depressed? In that case maybe it might be worth your while to try an antidepressant. Depression is very common among cancer patients. I hope you find some relief and I'm sending you hugs.
jan0 -
How we feel post treatment
I wrote a big long post to you, did a wrong click, and lost it! I think that was some kind of cosmic message that I had written the wrong thing. After I lost the first post, I went and looked at your profile. You are a survivor in a difficult place on your journey. Me too. I call the anxiety the winged monkey that sits on my chest. I'm extremely depressed sometimes and easily fatigued, too. It's difficult to be in Antarctica when your plan was to go to Rome!
But the wise women on this site who are further along on the journey assure us that it does get better. The doctors, and surgeons, and social workers also say it gets better. The social worker at the treatment center I visit says that for most women it takes a year from the beginning of treatment to get their feet back under them. For others it takes longer.
Coming here is something good that you are doing for yourself. Give yourself a hug.
Love, Lynn0 -
after treatment
Hi:
I know what you mean about work defining one's self. I have only worked a few hours since July (in order to keep my job I have to work at least once every 90 days). I will return to work at the end of the month, but that is also kind of scary. I am an RN, and I will return to 12 hour night shifts. I wanted to go back earlier, but the chemo had me so sick, I could barely get out of bed. (They had to stop it after 3 treatments of 8 planned ones). I wanted to return slowly, but I am in desperate need of money (I have no benefits at my job) and I will have more reconstruction surgery in March and will need to be out again for 6 weeks. I need to work as much as I can for now.
I'm also worried because I will be starting Exemestane (for 5 years) right when I go back to work. I don't think that timing is great, but one does what one has to.
I also feel guilty because I am not able to do as much around the house. Most of this has fallen on my husband. We are also trying to clean up my Mom's house (she passed away in August) and I just run out of energy so easily. If I had been well, her house would have been cleaned and on the market by now.
Somedays I am able to get a lot more done than others. I guess that is how it will be for a while. My last chemo was 10-10, and I'm sure that is still what has me fatigued. I had my last surgery on 12-17, but recovered from that quickly. On the days I don't get anything done, I feel like I have wasted the day, but that's how it goes. I just need to heal and get better. You need to do the same.
I wish you and your husband the best. I know all about prostate cancer because my Dad had it. I hope the biopsy is negative.
Take Care,
Cathy0 -
my goodness, what a wonderful site!
thanks for all of your support. yeah, it feels so good to know that i am not going crazy. this journey is something that i never imagined. i know all of you are right when you say it is ok to be fatigued and not feel like doing anything, but easier said than done. this has been my most difficult challenge. i am trying and with some success, to be more accepting of my situation and realizing as one of you said that i am defined by who i am not what i do. i would say that to others and have done so, but for some reason i am having a hard time with it.you know, i finished treatment in march. chemo in december after only 6 treatments becaused i was so sick and completed the radiation in march. my whole life i have taken care of others and not myself. why is that that us women nurture everybody else and not ourselves? i also feel that i am not patient with myself because i am sick and tired of being sick and tired. and my husband concerns me. maybe i am afraid that if he does have cancer i will not be able to take care of him as well as he cared to for me. i really do feel overwhelmed at the moment. his biopsy is tuesday but the results will not come in for 2 weeks. so i am trying to keep my head up.0 -
cathlypeggy65 said:my goodness, what a wonderful site!
thanks for all of your support. yeah, it feels so good to know that i am not going crazy. this journey is something that i never imagined. i know all of you are right when you say it is ok to be fatigued and not feel like doing anything, but easier said than done. this has been my most difficult challenge. i am trying and with some success, to be more accepting of my situation and realizing as one of you said that i am defined by who i am not what i do. i would say that to others and have done so, but for some reason i am having a hard time with it.you know, i finished treatment in march. chemo in december after only 6 treatments becaused i was so sick and completed the radiation in march. my whole life i have taken care of others and not myself. why is that that us women nurture everybody else and not ourselves? i also feel that i am not patient with myself because i am sick and tired of being sick and tired. and my husband concerns me. maybe i am afraid that if he does have cancer i will not be able to take care of him as well as he cared to for me. i really do feel overwhelmed at the moment. his biopsy is tuesday but the results will not come in for 2 weeks. so i am trying to keep my head up.
what an adorable baby! congratulations. i know that the lack of money pushes us but you sound that you are just not ready to go back to work. you said that you were a nurse. i am a social worker so i know how demanding those jobs can be, like they never end and you are never finished. i am sure that you have looked at other sources for help at this time that could maybe tide you over. it sounds as if your husband has taken charge, the same thing that my husband did. it was such a huge help and so necessary. know that you will be back to health soon and your lives will return to the way they were and you can enjoy it together along with your child. love, peggy0 -
you are so right! a fellowrjjj said:Welcome Peggy!!
So glad you joined this network. i am also new, just had surgery Dec. 2nd and 9 days into my first Chemo treatment. But i have found that these cool sisters in pink are so helpful and caring.
I have just been told for my own sake I should not work for awhile...as i work in a Hospital and being around live viruses is not exactly beneficial for my white blood count. I am going a little stir crazy sitting at home, and a lot guilty for not being able to "take care" of my house and family.
I woke up this morning and decided i would do at least one thing a day to make myself happy..even if just calling a friend, going out for lunch or taking a bubble bath. We need to take care of ourselves first and that is something we are not used to. If your body needs time to rejuvenate then take time to rest. The more rested and rejuvenated you become the more you will have to give to your hubby, whom i'm sure also wants this for you. Your love and support is probably all he really needs now. If needed ask family/friends to help out....they need to be needed also.
My prayers go out to you and your husband.
Jackie
you are so right! a fellow colleague of mine said to me one day. "why would you want to deny your friends and family from the opportunity to help you?" i never thought about it quite that way. i always thought i didn't want to impose on anyone. well that is crazy. when i think about the times i have said to a friend or family member, "what can i do" i really mean it as we all do. this was a great lesson for me. what goes around comes around. love,peggy0 -
Hi Peggy!peggy65 said:cathly
what an adorable baby! congratulations. i know that the lack of money pushes us but you sound that you are just not ready to go back to work. you said that you were a nurse. i am a social worker so i know how demanding those jobs can be, like they never end and you are never finished. i am sure that you have looked at other sources for help at this time that could maybe tide you over. it sounds as if your husband has taken charge, the same thing that my husband did. it was such a huge help and so necessary. know that you will be back to health soon and your lives will return to the way they were and you can enjoy it together along with your child. love, peggy
Peggy:
Yes, I do have a very demanding job. I work on a med/surg floor, the busiest in the hospital. I have been there over 7 years. I had some financial assistance in the fall, but I don't know of any more available. I work with great people, and will certainly be in the right place if anything goes wrong! The few times I have worked since July they did not give me a patient assignment, but let me do paperwork. That won't be an option now, I'm sure I will have patient assignments. I just know I may need to sit down at times, and ask for assistance from my co-workers.
By the way, I agree Braedon is an adorable baby, but he is my grandchild, not mine! He is almost 3 months old now. I know everyone thinks I look young to be a grandma, but my son, Braedon's dad, is 23, the age I was when I had him. I just turned 47 on Christmas Day.
I give you lots of credit being a social worker. I don't think I could do that. I really appreciate the help the cancer centers social worker gave me.
Cathy0 -
chemopeggy65 said:my goodness, what a wonderful site!
thanks for all of your support. yeah, it feels so good to know that i am not going crazy. this journey is something that i never imagined. i know all of you are right when you say it is ok to be fatigued and not feel like doing anything, but easier said than done. this has been my most difficult challenge. i am trying and with some success, to be more accepting of my situation and realizing as one of you said that i am defined by who i am not what i do. i would say that to others and have done so, but for some reason i am having a hard time with it.you know, i finished treatment in march. chemo in december after only 6 treatments becaused i was so sick and completed the radiation in march. my whole life i have taken care of others and not myself. why is that that us women nurture everybody else and not ourselves? i also feel that i am not patient with myself because i am sick and tired of being sick and tired. and my husband concerns me. maybe i am afraid that if he does have cancer i will not be able to take care of him as well as he cared to for me. i really do feel overwhelmed at the moment. his biopsy is tuesday but the results will not come in for 2 weeks. so i am trying to keep my head up.
Hi:
You are the first person I have heard of besides me who had to quit chemo early. I was to have 4 treatments of Adriamycin and Cytoxan, and 4 of Taxol, but only had 3 of the AC when they discontinued them. I did not need any radiation (because I had a mastectomy).
I have also always taken care of others, both in my personal & professional lives (I'm an RN)resulting in neglect of myself. I am also sick of being sick. I felt fine when I was diagnosed, I didn't even have a clue anything was wrong. It was my first screening mammogram that found the cancer. I was just starting to feel better after the mastectomy when I was told I needed chemo. That was what has done me in. It has been over 3 months since my chemo ended and some things are back to normal (taste, nausea & diarrhea gone, I have a little bit of an appetite now, etc) but I still wear out very easily. Some days more than others.
I know how overwhelming it can be, especially waiting for your husband's results. I do know that when my dad has his prostate cancer treatment (radiation) he was able to continue life as normal. He later had hormone shots every 3 months, this gave him hot flashes, and I would get him an icebag. I did have to give him a lot of care the last 18 months of his life, but it was due more to him being on oxygen for COPD than for the cancer.
Best Wishes,
Cathy0 -
The end of treatmentcnwrn said:chemo
Hi:
You are the first person I have heard of besides me who had to quit chemo early. I was to have 4 treatments of Adriamycin and Cytoxan, and 4 of Taxol, but only had 3 of the AC when they discontinued them. I did not need any radiation (because I had a mastectomy).
I have also always taken care of others, both in my personal & professional lives (I'm an RN)resulting in neglect of myself. I am also sick of being sick. I felt fine when I was diagnosed, I didn't even have a clue anything was wrong. It was my first screening mammogram that found the cancer. I was just starting to feel better after the mastectomy when I was told I needed chemo. That was what has done me in. It has been over 3 months since my chemo ended and some things are back to normal (taste, nausea & diarrhea gone, I have a little bit of an appetite now, etc) but I still wear out very easily. Some days more than others.
I know how overwhelming it can be, especially waiting for your husband's results. I do know that when my dad has his prostate cancer treatment (radiation) he was able to continue life as normal. He later had hormone shots every 3 months, this gave him hot flashes, and I would get him an icebag. I did have to give him a lot of care the last 18 months of his life, but it was due more to him being on oxygen for COPD than for the cancer.
Best Wishes,
Cathy
I've just finished a great book that I was sure was written for me personally-"After Breast Cancer" by Hester Hill Schnipper,LICSW. She is a social worker who used to run support groups for BC and other cancer patients, and then was diagnosed with BC herself.
It covers absolutely everything everyone has been discussing here, and more, with a great resource section at the back. I liked it so much (when I got it from the library) that I just bought a copy.
I usually read to put myself to sleep, so it takes me awhile to finish a book, but this one was so interesting that I finished it quickly---pretty good, considering it didn't even have pictures LOL!
Good luck, and keep coming here. Nothing like someone who has "been there, done that" to understand---and we don't seem to have any problems giving our two cents, LOL
Jan0 -
Is it just 'Cathy's or what????cnwrn said:chemo
Hi:
You are the first person I have heard of besides me who had to quit chemo early. I was to have 4 treatments of Adriamycin and Cytoxan, and 4 of Taxol, but only had 3 of the AC when they discontinued them. I did not need any radiation (because I had a mastectomy).
I have also always taken care of others, both in my personal & professional lives (I'm an RN)resulting in neglect of myself. I am also sick of being sick. I felt fine when I was diagnosed, I didn't even have a clue anything was wrong. It was my first screening mammogram that found the cancer. I was just starting to feel better after the mastectomy when I was told I needed chemo. That was what has done me in. It has been over 3 months since my chemo ended and some things are back to normal (taste, nausea & diarrhea gone, I have a little bit of an appetite now, etc) but I still wear out very easily. Some days more than others.
I know how overwhelming it can be, especially waiting for your husband's results. I do know that when my dad has his prostate cancer treatment (radiation) he was able to continue life as normal. He later had hormone shots every 3 months, this gave him hot flashes, and I would get him an icebag. I did have to give him a lot of care the last 18 months of his life, but it was due more to him being on oxygen for COPD than for the cancer.
Best Wishes,
Cathy
I, too, had only 3 of the 4 Adriamycin/Cytoxin. My heart was having real troubles, so my oncologist passed on the last one, but suggested we try the Taxol. If #1 would have given me trouble, we would have stopped. Her statement was priceless: "You know, Kathi, this treatment is just to prevent future trouble, but if we lose the patient, that is taking prevention a bit too far!".
Hugs, Kathi0 -
Give yourself some BIG hugs...
...and some time. Cancer treatment is designed to 'kick butt' as many have said. One of my chemo nurses summed it up: "We take you to the edge, and then bring you back, hopefully in the process, killing all the bad cells, and saving the good ones".
As far as reinventing...well, yes, you are a different person. Wiser. Stronger. All that good stuff. You have faced a life-threating illness and prevailed!!! That is more than many will ever say in their lives.
I'm sitting almost 3 years out from any treatment. I got the 2-fer, stage III rectal followed by stage II breast cancer...and I can tell you that I'm starting to live life large now! I took a trip to Turkey, just got back from 3 weeks in Holland, and am looking at a cruise of eastern Europe in May.
My point? Your energy WILL return, but you need to take care of yourself NOW!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
after breast cancer treatment
Peggy65, I know it is old but true. One day at a time, one day at a time. Today you feel this way, so go with it. Little by little you will regain your vitality. In the meantime, continue or begin a quiet hobby you never had time for. Some examples would be, backyard birdwatching, putting together photo albums, scrapbooking, crafts or needlework. If you can afford it, hire a person to do tasks in the house or yard that you can't do now. Learn to let go. This takes some practice but is necessary for cancer survivors. Let go of perfectionism and make sure you have some way to enjoy yourself each day.0 -
bookNorcalJ said:The end of treatment
I've just finished a great book that I was sure was written for me personally-"After Breast Cancer" by Hester Hill Schnipper,LICSW. She is a social worker who used to run support groups for BC and other cancer patients, and then was diagnosed with BC herself.
It covers absolutely everything everyone has been discussing here, and more, with a great resource section at the back. I liked it so much (when I got it from the library) that I just bought a copy.
I usually read to put myself to sleep, so it takes me awhile to finish a book, but this one was so interesting that I finished it quickly---pretty good, considering it didn't even have pictures LOL!
Good luck, and keep coming here. Nothing like someone who has "been there, done that" to understand---and we don't seem to have any problems giving our two cents, LOL
Jan
Jan:
Thanks for the recommendation. I will try to locate the book and read it. Sounds just what I need to read!
Cathy0 -
ChemoKathiM said:Is it just 'Cathy's or what????
I, too, had only 3 of the 4 Adriamycin/Cytoxin. My heart was having real troubles, so my oncologist passed on the last one, but suggested we try the Taxol. If #1 would have given me trouble, we would have stopped. Her statement was priceless: "You know, Kathi, this treatment is just to prevent future trouble, but if we lose the patient, that is taking prevention a bit too far!".
Hugs, Kathi
Kathi:
I'm glad to know there are others out there who had to stop some chemo. My oncologist told me after the 3rd treatment (which was already delayed a week and reduced in dosage) that we were stopping the chemo because "it was beating me up too much". My cancer was stage 2A, and node negative, so this was a preventative treatment, it would have increase my 10-year survival chance from 80% to 90%. I figure with the 3 treatments I had, my chance should now be about 83.5%! He didn't want to try the Taxol. I don't know why, but then again, I didn't ask him, I was just glad he was stopping the A/C. I sure felt like I was brought to the brink of death. I like your oncologist's statement! It says it all!
Take Care,
Cathy0
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