Need Prayers

BonnieR

lizper said:

Questions
Joanne, I`m so sorry to hear this I can understand.. I have seen my Mom go through this for 3 years and 3 months.. sincerely I never thought she would hang in so long considering she is 77 years old. I want to ask you what kind of pain are you experiencing??? My Mom is feeling very bad.. I have never seen her with so much pain... I`m thinking her problem is also her bowels and maybe her rectum area.. probaby ascitis. She has disconfort when she can´t go to the bathroom (pupu) and when she finally can go she gets horrible pains she says it`s so painful she feels like she is dropping dead from a heart attack. I`m very worried and sad.. she is now on constant pain killers wich don`t last long and the pain comes back.I can see the pain increases every day. The Onc gave hre GENOXAL tablets for 21 days to see what happens and then labs, I don`t know what is on his mind. She had an abdominal tomography done 3 months ago which showed nothing, the Dr. was pleased and even thought is could not be the cancer. Thank you for listening. May God give you peace I will pray for you. Liz

Liz Hugs
Liz, sorry to read all the pain your mom is in, hopefully the docs will figure out what is causing it and do something to give her relief. One should not suffer in pain, have they talked about pallative care, do they offer that in your area. Now, how are you holding up? How are the babies doing? Saying a prayer for you all. Hugs Bonnie

mopar

floridajo said:

Thank you all!!
I was back in the hoapital again and just got home. I'm on a PCA pump with IV duladid 2 mg a hour. It takes care of all the pain. Since my insurance will pay for the PCA pump I won't have to go on Hospice to get it. I will call my Onc tomorrow and get him to line up my Taxotere asap. The also inserted a permenent drain in my belly so I can drain the ascites myself now and don't have to wait until I'm in pain anymore. They drained me before they put the new pump in and were able to get another 1000cc off that's alot considering they had just removed 3000cc 3days earlier!! Like I said the good news is I can start the taxotere and fight back.So I'm quite anxious for tomorrow morning to get a call into the Onc and start the taxotere. So for right now I have home health showing me how to change the dressings and how to use the pump myself, then they will only come in 1 time a week to change out the huber-needle of my medi-port. My Onc did say we will fight with all we got,but at the same time I have alot of things to get ready for..Do you know I don't even have a advance directives or living will??? Stupid things,but I just never ever thought I would get to this point. I'm a bit depressed,but I know I have to go through all these things. I'm really scared and I so sad..I'm only 50..damn it. My Mom is coming for another visit and to help me out. I'm so weak that standing up from the toilet seat is tough on my legs. I used to have so much pride in my body. I worked out and had looked good...now I can hardly look at myself and recognize me...I know I'm in there somewhere....Thank you all for the love and understanding that can only come from someone who's been there or is helping a family member get through it. It means so much to me..and I promise I will FIGHT FIGHT..FIGHT (((huugz)))~~~Joanne

DEAREST JOANNE
I'm sorry you are going through so much. And I know what you mean by having 'pride' in how you have lived your life taking care of yourself and looking healthy and fit. Speaking from personal experience, it's not about ego, it's about doing all the right things for so long and reaping the benefits with health, looking good and feeling good, and a reflection of what's going on inside. Now, seeing yourself as you do, it's only a reminder of the turmoil your body is going through inside. I know it's distressing. And as 'clich'e' as it sounds, you are still the same person that we've all grown to love.

True how we don't think of things like the Health Directives, etc. until situations as this. But they're always good to have on hand. I know you have so much to deal with right now. So, just take care of yourself and give yourself time to adjust to the new treatment. Thank you so much for taking time to keep us up-to-date. And we'll be waiting for more posts from you.

Till later, lots of luv, hugs and prayers for your strength and healing.

Monika

mopar

green50 said:

Little Down
Hi to all
I am a six and a half year survivor as well Bonnie. I need a little pick me up in the prayer department. I had a count of 14000 last May and it went down to 4500 In November but My last count after taking a extra 2 weeks off because of holidays, MY count is now 9000. And I have a lump in my neck which they will do a biopsy on Tuesday. They said it could be anything, I hope they are right. I will again take my slow drip carbo on the 19th and go every 3 weeks again. It seems you almost get there then well you know how it is Bonnie. But maybe another miracle will come and chemo bring count down next time. I feel pretty good other then a litttle tired so who knows. Like my husband use to say just another bump in the road. Might have to go back to Taxitiere, Oh yea. lol Hope all of you are doing good. My prayers are with you.
Sandy

SANDY
Sending lots of prayers to you, too. This is not an easy road. I'm so glad that you find inspiration, hope and much more here. It may not take it all away, but it does make the journey a little easier. Let us know what your biopsy results are.

Take care, Sandy.

(((HUGS)))

Monika

Cindy54

floridajo said:

Thank you all!!
I was back in the hoapital again and just got home. I'm on a PCA pump with IV duladid 2 mg a hour. It takes care of all the pain. Since my insurance will pay for the PCA pump I won't have to go on Hospice to get it. I will call my Onc tomorrow and get him to line up my Taxotere asap. The also inserted a permenent drain in my belly so I can drain the ascites myself now and don't have to wait until I'm in pain anymore. They drained me before they put the new pump in and were able to get another 1000cc off that's alot considering they had just removed 3000cc 3days earlier!! Like I said the good news is I can start the taxotere and fight back.So I'm quite anxious for tomorrow morning to get a call into the Onc and start the taxotere. So for right now I have home health showing me how to change the dressings and how to use the pump myself, then they will only come in 1 time a week to change out the huber-needle of my medi-port. My Onc did say we will fight with all we got,but at the same time I have alot of things to get ready for..Do you know I don't even have a advance directives or living will??? Stupid things,but I just never ever thought I would get to this point. I'm a bit depressed,but I know I have to go through all these things. I'm really scared and I so sad..I'm only 50..damn it. My Mom is coming for another visit and to help me out. I'm so weak that standing up from the toilet seat is tough on my legs. I used to have so much pride in my body. I worked out and had looked good...now I can hardly look at myself and recognize me...I know I'm in there somewhere....Thank you all for the love and understanding that can only come from someone who's been there or is helping a family member get through it. It means so much to me..and I promise I will FIGHT FIGHT..FIGHT (((huugz)))~~~Joanne

Keep Going
Joanne, I also was sad to hear of all that you are going through. I have followed you since when I was on here for my Mom. I know what you mean when you say..I'm still here inside, but I did all the right things and my outside is so weak. I have had a tough time looking at all my scars this year as well. And I did have a few days where I thought, gee, I did all the health things, didn't smoke, drink or even cuss, and the beast came to me because it was hereditary. I had a lot of crying days. But I know none of my family members would ever have wanted for me to suffer the way they did. This was not something I brought on myself or my family "wished" on me. It just happened. Cry, scream, yell, if you have to. It gets all the inside pain in your heart out. I am glad that you are having your Mom come to be with you for awhile. And also that you are taking the Taxotere. Get that beast down once and for all! You have so many warriors lifting you up in prayer here, and I will add mine. When I first heard about my breast cancer one year ago this month, I went and did the living will and advance directive. When I got the news about my ovarian, I went and made my final arrangements, so sure that I would not be around because I lost my Mom to this. But I also have a little box that I carry around with me. Inside are all the little special things that make me feel good..a card from a friend, a picture of my Mom, a small beanie baby for comfort, some little clippings of encouraging things I have read. This little box got me through some mighty tough days. Joanne, try not to look so much at what you are not able to do, look at even one little thing you do today that you could not do yesterday. Take the little things and hang onto them.I send my best prayers for strength and peace your way, love and big hugs, Cindy

green50

mopar said:

SANDY
Sending lots of prayers to you, too. This is not an easy road. I'm so glad that you find inspiration, hope and much more here. It may not take it all away, but it does make the journey a little easier. Let us know what your biopsy results are.

Take care, Sandy.

(((HUGS)))

Monika

Thanks Monica
Biopsy will be easy. We shall see if its my ovarian cancer or not. My 80 year old MOm and Dad will be taking me and they act and look as if they are much younger. Last 2 years they both had a cancer but luckily its gone. Mom did not have to have chemo with her breast cancer. Dad had squamous but is fine now. So Miracles DO happen.
Will write when I find out results. Thank YOu Sandy

floridajo

lizper said:

Questions
Joanne, I`m so sorry to hear this I can understand.. I have seen my Mom go through this for 3 years and 3 months.. sincerely I never thought she would hang in so long considering she is 77 years old. I want to ask you what kind of pain are you experiencing??? My Mom is feeling very bad.. I have never seen her with so much pain... I`m thinking her problem is also her bowels and maybe her rectum area.. probaby ascitis. She has disconfort when she can´t go to the bathroom (pupu) and when she finally can go she gets horrible pains she says it`s so painful she feels like she is dropping dead from a heart attack. I`m very worried and sad.. she is now on constant pain killers wich don`t last long and the pain comes back.I can see the pain increases every day. The Onc gave hre GENOXAL tablets for 21 days to see what happens and then labs, I don`t know what is on his mind. She had an abdominal tomography done 3 months ago which showed nothing, the Dr. was pleased and even thought is could not be the cancer. Thank you for listening. May God give you peace I will pray for you. Liz

Lizper
I am sorry that your Mom is feeling ao poorly,she needs pain control and needs it fast,beleive me I have been in so much pain lately and dealing with horrible disease is impossible but not being in pain keps me more fucused. It is possible it from another source also,so I would ask for a pain mgmt Dr. referral and see if they can help any. My Onc/Gyn has said numerous times there is no excuse for any cancer have pain at any time....SOOO get on her Dr. back~~~ I hope all is well with you and those babies,too. Would love to see them. Take care..(((hugz)))~~~Joanne

MichaelaMarie

floridajo said:

Lizper
I am sorry that your Mom is feeling ao poorly,she needs pain control and needs it fast,beleive me I have been in so much pain lately and dealing with horrible disease is impossible but not being in pain keps me more fucused. It is possible it from another source also,so I would ask for a pain mgmt Dr. referral and see if they can help any. My Onc/Gyn has said numerous times there is no excuse for any cancer have pain at any time....SOOO get on her Dr. back~~~ I hope all is well with you and those babies,too. Would love to see them. Take care..(((hugz)))~~~Joanne

Need Prayers
Dear Joanne,

I tried posting last week, and my computer wouldn't let me (it acted like I had a virus). I was anxious to add my name to the list of our sister survivors that have wished you the best, and are praying for some good news. Like everyone else, I am so distressed to hear of your pain. Please let us know how you are doing if you feel up to it. We all care so much, MM

saundra

floridajo said:

Lizper
I am sorry that your Mom is feeling ao poorly,she needs pain control and needs it fast,beleive me I have been in so much pain lately and dealing with horrible disease is impossible but not being in pain keps me more fucused. It is possible it from another source also,so I would ask for a pain mgmt Dr. referral and see if they can help any. My Onc/Gyn has said numerous times there is no excuse for any cancer have pain at any time....SOOO get on her Dr. back~~~ I hope all is well with you and those babies,too. Would love to see them. Take care..(((hugz)))~~~Joanne

How R U?
How are you doing this week? I am praying for you to be comfortable with the new device. Also for the chemo to reduce the tumor spots, of course. Is your Mother there yet? All I wanted was to let you know that you are thought of daily in my prayers. (((Hugs))) Saundra