5Fu ???????

VickiCO

captainhop said:

family toughest AND to all who responded ref family
How can I get to a caringbride blog? I think that's a good idea.

Ok, then my family isn't that much different than any one elses. That makes me feel better. I understand so much better now that some of you have explained communications -- or NO communication -- w/ family.

Since we have all sons,that probably plays into it also. I like the idea of a caringbridge blog. Didn'tknow about that.

If they DO have any questions, they corner ME and I get to try and answer them. which is okay..I don't mind. But the next time, I'm going to make sure they know they can talk to their dad about this also.

Thanks,my angels, for answering a very important question for me.
Blessings..............Marygale

Caring Bridge
Go to www.caringbridge.org. You set up your own site, they them email you instructions to send to your family/friends. You can blog every day, or just once oin a while, your choice. And they can leave you messages. It's been a huge help to me.

Vicki

captainhop

VickiCO said:

Caring Bridge
Go to www.caringbridge.org. You set up your own site, they them email you instructions to send to your family/friends. You can blog every day, or just once oin a while, your choice. And they can leave you messages. It's been a huge help to me.

Vicki

VICKI---CARING BRIDGE
Thanks, Vicki. I'm going to try that. Sounds like a very good "tool" to use.

Marygale

captainhop

dorookie said:

Just food for thought
Marygale,

From my experience the first time I was DX, I didnt want to talk about it. I just went through the motions, just went through doing what I had to do to get through this. To me it was nothing other then a bump in the road. I didnt talk about it at all with anyone really, unless it was a day I just couldnt keep from crying and someone was around, then I talked a little. I guess I was in major denial the first go around. Now with the reoccurance, its really hit me harder then the first time. To me now I had to face the fact that it was real, that it was happening to me and my family. I couldnt shut them out anymore, I had to talk, and I am now realizing I need to seek out someone other then my family to talk with, like a counselor.

I guess what I am trying to say is that Hop might just not want to talk about it, he could be like me and in denial. I know all of this is so new to you guys, and to be honest the last thing I wanted was someone pushing me to talk. But now that I look back, I wish I had talked, I have so much pent up anger now its causing me alot of pain inside. Not physically, but emotionally. I kept telling myself, hey I am a cop, i can handle this, just do what you got to do, well when it came back, I had to realize real quick I wasnt in control after all.

I am sorry I am rambling some, I just know how Hop is feeling and I feel his pain and fear and I know how hard it was for me to talk. I want so badly for Hop to be able to talk to you, but I can understand his side too. I was stubborn, no one was going to make me talk no matter what! So they just gave in and I spent many months going through treatment without talking about it, dont let that happen to Hop. I have read your not supposed to push a person to talk, but from my experience, I wish someone would have pushed me harder. Not saying it would have worked, but wish someone would have gotten through to my thick head.

Okay I am done. Sorry for rambling. Just some thoughts.
Beth

FOOD FOR THOUGHT--Beth
Oh, how I love it when you ramble.....I learn so much from you guys that way. So, my friend, you ramble on anytime you feel the need or just want to talk. You have no idea how it helps me and I believe, many, many others. You're doing quite a service by "Rambling".

Thanks for the insite.....

Marygale

captainhop

CherylHutch said:

Rambling
And a fabulous ramble that was, Beth!! Hoooooray!!! I'm sooo glad you feel comfortable now to just come here and spill it out in a post or mutiple posts... and at the same time, show the rest of us there are many facets to this beast. There are people like me who just naturally ramble, talk, work things out verbally or in writing and the more scared, confused we get, the more we ramble, talk and write. For me, putting things into words, be it verbally or in writing is very cathartic... and I think part of that (oh, I'm such a drama queen!!) is that someone is reading these words and saying, "Oh, ya... can I ever relate to that!!" or "I know exactly what you are going through, here, let me tell you something you might not know..." and I read everyone's posts like I'm thirsting to death... just absorbing the knowledge I pick up, as well, finding that I'm not alone and that we all have similar stories. And even better... that so many have gone through the same thing as me and have come out fine... either cured or living with a chronic illness that is not the end of life

But there are two sides... as you have pointed out, you didn't want to talk about it, to others or even to yourself. You just wanted to do what you had to do and let's get over this... until the recurrence happened and then it was like you were hit with a brick... or a bunch of bricks!! Now what to do??? If your comfort zone is to not talk about this, then where the heck do you turn to??

So that is why I am so glad that now you are finding you do want to talk to someone, whether it's a counsellor you can trust, or just coming here and verbalizing what you are going through. And whether you realize it or not, everything you have to say... be it what you are feeling, what your partner is going through, how the people at work relate, the fact that you can't work during treatments... whatever you are going through and feel comfortable about talking about, it DOES help someone else because they will find that they have exactly the same feelings/situations! For all of us who do post messages on this forum, there are probably 20 people who don't... but they are reading, reading, reading. So we don't even know if we are helping someone who doesn't post, but we all know we help each other who do post... so my bets are there are even more people who don't post but get comfort and information from the posts they do read here.

So ramble away anytime you feel the need!!

Huggggggs,

Cheryl

RAMBLING
Hi Cheryl....

And so right you are. With the rambling, comes knowledge and comfort on our end. I print a lot of these posts out for Hop to read....He's getting more comfortable reading now than he was 2 days ago.

I had to have a little talk w/ him this morning about the "Gloom and Doom"....he couldn't sleep last night for thinking about all the negatives.........So, what information I could give him mostly came from this forum---------from people rambling.......And, it helped as we talked about always being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.....thinking positive and how it effects healing..........Most importantly, the BEAST is no longer a death sentence. AND, the quality of life is one of his main concerns....not knowing if he wants to ""Live that way""".....I even had answers for that thanks to the forum..

This place has helped both of us so much, even if it's only myself doing the posting....a lot of the posts actually come from him and the answers do help a lot.

SO, PEOPLE..........RAMBLE, RAMBLE, RAMBLE all you want. YOU'RE HELPING US AND OTHERS while doing so.

Thank you from my heart,
Marygale

kmygil

5-FU
Howdy. 5-FU is an old warrior against cancer. It is one of the oldest cancer drugs around and still one of the most effective. They have found that its effects are prolonged & enhanced with the addition of leucovorin, so that's added into the cocktail when you do Folfox-5 along with the oxaliplatin. Hope this helps.

Hugs,
Kirsten

captainhop

5FU
Thank you for your response. These things are becoming clearer and clearer to me now.

Marygale