Still waiting, nervously....

mimivac
mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I am still waiting for the chemo to hit. It is now day two post. I've some GI problems, brief and very slight fatigue and nausea, but that's about it. Also, cheese tastes very bitter and burns my throat. The symptoms seem to get worse at night, but I've woken up refreshed and energized both mornings. Of course I am happy the longer I don't get symptoms, but I hope this doesn't mean I will get hit more severely later. The waiting is a little scary...

Comments

  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    carpe dieum....
    or carpet demons...
    or whatever the heck that phrase is...
    Don't waste your time waiting for something bad to happen....some people sail through chemo with no terrible effects at all.
    Here's hopin that's true for you!
    Merry Christmas!
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    Glad you are well.
    Mimi, I am glad that you are feeling well. I remember I was prepared for the worst with my first treatment but was surprised that it was not bad at all. However, the effects seemed to be cumulative. Each infusion seemed to have more severe side effects. But even though the AC treatments were unpleasant the good news is the Taxol treatments are usually much easier to deal with. I was ready to stop treatment all together after my 3rd AC infusion but my onc assured me that Taxol is usually much more tolerable for most people so I gritted my teeth with the last AC and went on with the Taxol and I am glad I did because he was right.

    It seems like a long haul, but believe it or not, time passes and soon you will have it all behind you. I remember thinking after my 3rd treatment that 5 more might as well have been 50 more and I just couldn't stand it, but looking back, before I knew it, the nurses were congratulating me on "graduating"!

    Hang in there, we are all here with you! Eil
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    Dance!!!!
    Some people are lucky, no really bad symptoms....I wish this for you!!!!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    KathiM said:

    Dance!!!!
    Some people are lucky, no really bad symptoms....I wish this for you!!!!

    Hugs, Kathi

    Thanks
    I hope so, Kathi! I am still feeling fine, physically, although I had a very, very low moment earlier. I just suddenly started feeling that I was going to die no matter what and just lost it. All my positive thoughts and energy took a back seat to the darkness and I really succumbed to it. Fortunately, my husband demanded that I get off the couch (literally, he dragged me off!), put sneakers on my feet and made me get on my home elliptical machine for 15 minutes. I cried while exercising, but you cannot imagine how good it felt! Both physically and emotionally. I am understanding how you just have to help yourself through these tough times. Then I talked to my mom on the phone for a long time and we had a good conversation about how fear is part of the human condition, but something we can deal with. Anyway, sorry for rambling. I am seeing another oncologist tomorrow for a second opinion, so I am a little nervous about that as well. Have a great night (or day, wherever you are).

    Mimi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    mimivac said:

    Thanks
    I hope so, Kathi! I am still feeling fine, physically, although I had a very, very low moment earlier. I just suddenly started feeling that I was going to die no matter what and just lost it. All my positive thoughts and energy took a back seat to the darkness and I really succumbed to it. Fortunately, my husband demanded that I get off the couch (literally, he dragged me off!), put sneakers on my feet and made me get on my home elliptical machine for 15 minutes. I cried while exercising, but you cannot imagine how good it felt! Both physically and emotionally. I am understanding how you just have to help yourself through these tough times. Then I talked to my mom on the phone for a long time and we had a good conversation about how fear is part of the human condition, but something we can deal with. Anyway, sorry for rambling. I am seeing another oncologist tomorrow for a second opinion, so I am a little nervous about that as well. Have a great night (or day, wherever you are).

    Mimi

    You have it nailed!!!!!
    Low times are part of this experience. I'm so glad that both you and your hubby are working as a team....warn him that he might hear: "You don't understand, you don't have cancer!!!!" at some point...THAT's pretty normal, too....

    Please keep us posted about the other oncologist tomorrow...


    Hugs, Kathi

    (Actually, I don't leave for Holland till Christmas Day...THEN it will be 9 hours later than my home in California...which is 10 hours earlier than it was in Turkey....lol!) So if it's Tuesday, it must be Belgium....ROFL!
  • kbc4869
    kbc4869 Member Posts: 159
    1 down . . .
    So glad your first tx went well, Mimi. As far as the depression, I found that it usually hit on day 3 and then cleared out in a few days. It makes sense to me because when you think about it -- if chemo is killing all cells, good and bad, it will probably make your seratonin levels go down. If you are prone to depression to start with, you may feel those dark clouds after chemo more. I did. Just know that it's paritally due to the chemo. It's normal.

    As far as waiting for it to get worse -- yes, it is cumulative, but I did relatively well on chemo with few side effects.

    Here's a funny story about what a spaz I am . . . after first chemo tx, I was expecting the worst. I was suprised that I felt ok. Decided to go roller blading the day after. Now mind you, I'm not an atheletic person. And I am extremely clumsy. But I thought -- what the heck. So, I get on these roller blades and start towards my brother's house, which is 10 blocks away. The neighborhood is full of cobblestone streets and uneven sideswalks. I think to myself, Wow! I'm pretty good at this. But what I came to find is that roller blading is easy. It's the stopping that's hard.

    I fell on my butt, ran into lamp posts, and literraly looked like a mentally challanged person skating those ten blocks. I get to my brother's house, he opens the doors, and he looks at me mortified. Perhaps not so much because I had just had chemo, but he knows that I am clumsy and a danger to myself. He's like, "Uh, how are you?" I'm like, "Great!"

    He wanted to drive me home, but I wouldn't let him. So I went the 10 blocks back -- falling, swerving, running into polls . . . at least I still had my hair because I would have looked even more spaztic without it.

    Either way, I wish you the best in TX. You will get through it and it will soon just be a memory.
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    kbc4869 said:

    1 down . . .
    So glad your first tx went well, Mimi. As far as the depression, I found that it usually hit on day 3 and then cleared out in a few days. It makes sense to me because when you think about it -- if chemo is killing all cells, good and bad, it will probably make your seratonin levels go down. If you are prone to depression to start with, you may feel those dark clouds after chemo more. I did. Just know that it's paritally due to the chemo. It's normal.

    As far as waiting for it to get worse -- yes, it is cumulative, but I did relatively well on chemo with few side effects.

    Here's a funny story about what a spaz I am . . . after first chemo tx, I was expecting the worst. I was suprised that I felt ok. Decided to go roller blading the day after. Now mind you, I'm not an atheletic person. And I am extremely clumsy. But I thought -- what the heck. So, I get on these roller blades and start towards my brother's house, which is 10 blocks away. The neighborhood is full of cobblestone streets and uneven sideswalks. I think to myself, Wow! I'm pretty good at this. But what I came to find is that roller blading is easy. It's the stopping that's hard.

    I fell on my butt, ran into lamp posts, and literraly looked like a mentally challanged person skating those ten blocks. I get to my brother's house, he opens the doors, and he looks at me mortified. Perhaps not so much because I had just had chemo, but he knows that I am clumsy and a danger to myself. He's like, "Uh, how are you?" I'm like, "Great!"

    He wanted to drive me home, but I wouldn't let him. So I went the 10 blocks back -- falling, swerving, running into polls . . . at least I still had my hair because I would have looked even more spaztic without it.

    Either way, I wish you the best in TX. You will get through it and it will soon just be a memory.

    Roller blades!
    Wow, kbc, you are a lot braver than I am! I've only ventured on the elliptical machine since chemo, and that was by force! Day three and I am still feeling OK. This morning, in the shower, I had a sudden onset of shortness of breath, fatigue, and nausea. I panicked, but it soon went away. I was going to go to work, but decided to work at home instead. My boss has been very understanding.

    I hate the idea that it is cumulative, but I hope I do as well as you, although I don't think I'll doing anything like ice skating (or roller blading) soon, which I miss. I work in DC and every year my husband and I would ice skate at the rink in the sculpture garden of the National Gallery of Art. Then we would go for hot chocolate in their beautiful cafe, all windowed and bright. I get sad wondering if I will do those things again, but also hopeful that I will. I never thought I'd say this, but anti-anxiety pills are really helping me get through this. And, I don't know what I'd do without this site.
  • kbc4869
    kbc4869 Member Posts: 159
    mimivac said:

    Roller blades!
    Wow, kbc, you are a lot braver than I am! I've only ventured on the elliptical machine since chemo, and that was by force! Day three and I am still feeling OK. This morning, in the shower, I had a sudden onset of shortness of breath, fatigue, and nausea. I panicked, but it soon went away. I was going to go to work, but decided to work at home instead. My boss has been very understanding.

    I hate the idea that it is cumulative, but I hope I do as well as you, although I don't think I'll doing anything like ice skating (or roller blading) soon, which I miss. I work in DC and every year my husband and I would ice skate at the rink in the sculpture garden of the National Gallery of Art. Then we would go for hot chocolate in their beautiful cafe, all windowed and bright. I get sad wondering if I will do those things again, but also hopeful that I will. I never thought I'd say this, but anti-anxiety pills are really helping me get through this. And, I don't know what I'd do without this site.

    ?
    Mimi -- Darling, Angel, Sweetheart -- why wonder? Go! If you don't feel like ice skating, then go to that beautiful cafe and drink your hot chocolate and look out those windows and let the sun shine on your beatiful face!

    I understand that you're not sure what to expect from your first chemo. You're nervous and want to stay close to home until you know what to expect. But once you know what you're dealing with -- GO! You are bound by no rules. YOU make the rules.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    mimivac said:

    Roller blades!
    Wow, kbc, you are a lot braver than I am! I've only ventured on the elliptical machine since chemo, and that was by force! Day three and I am still feeling OK. This morning, in the shower, I had a sudden onset of shortness of breath, fatigue, and nausea. I panicked, but it soon went away. I was going to go to work, but decided to work at home instead. My boss has been very understanding.

    I hate the idea that it is cumulative, but I hope I do as well as you, although I don't think I'll doing anything like ice skating (or roller blading) soon, which I miss. I work in DC and every year my husband and I would ice skate at the rink in the sculpture garden of the National Gallery of Art. Then we would go for hot chocolate in their beautiful cafe, all windowed and bright. I get sad wondering if I will do those things again, but also hopeful that I will. I never thought I'd say this, but anti-anxiety pills are really helping me get through this. And, I don't know what I'd do without this site.

    Why not THIS year????
    In a few days, you will have recovered completely from the infusion...why not go skating then????

    I tried to live life as much as possible...I even bartered with one of my infusions (I took it 3 days early) so that I could travel to Holland for Christmas...I was bald as a cue ball, wore a mask on the plane, and needed a cane (remember, this was my second round of chemo in a year...you will NOT be this way!!!!!), but I WENT. And, had a GREAT time!

    Hugs, Kathi

    PS: I just had a visual...I'm laughing soooo hard...

    Me, with a turban on, walking slowly with a cane, and wearing a mask as I boarded the plane...everyone probably thought I was a terrorist or something...
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    kbc4869 said:

    ?
    Mimi -- Darling, Angel, Sweetheart -- why wonder? Go! If you don't feel like ice skating, then go to that beautiful cafe and drink your hot chocolate and look out those windows and let the sun shine on your beatiful face!

    I understand that you're not sure what to expect from your first chemo. You're nervous and want to stay close to home until you know what to expect. But once you know what you're dealing with -- GO! You are bound by no rules. YOU make the rules.

    waiting....
    Hi Mimi, Nice to meet you. If you are anything like I was (and I do wish this for you) I sailed through the first 3 treatments (fec) A little tired and just waiting for the "Horrors of chemo" to start... They didn't. My hair fell out and Hey even that didn't seem so bad when it actually happened.
    It was the waiting and anticipation that was the worst. So Enjoy yourself....NOW! LOL

    Good Luck and Hugs Julia

    PS Kathi. What a beautiful pic.