Christmas Gift...
Comments
-
How to wrap???
Not sure how to fit this under the tree, but a weekly or bi-weekly cleaning service would ease her mind and body if she has the job of keeping the home up and running like most of us do. Also, she is going to be needing to avoid crowds during treatment, so a shopping/delivery service would be nice if you live in an area where such things are offered. I am assuming here that you have to go to work and carry on with your usual schedule for the most part and are not available for these chores all the time.
Anything that pampers her and eases her spirit so she can concentrate on getting better will be much appreciated I am sure. The romantic gifts are always nice but for now she may need to feel more 'warm fuzzies' and less sexually suggestive types of gestures from you. You certainly do not need to neglect her sexuality or be afraid to show your physical attraction to her, but just go easy on that part of the relationship for now is my advice.0 -
WRAP?zahalene said:How to wrap???
Not sure how to fit this under the tree, but a weekly or bi-weekly cleaning service would ease her mind and body if she has the job of keeping the home up and running like most of us do. Also, she is going to be needing to avoid crowds during treatment, so a shopping/delivery service would be nice if you live in an area where such things are offered. I am assuming here that you have to go to work and carry on with your usual schedule for the most part and are not available for these chores all the time.
Anything that pampers her and eases her spirit so she can concentrate on getting better will be much appreciated I am sure. The romantic gifts are always nice but for now she may need to feel more 'warm fuzzies' and less sexually suggestive types of gestures from you. You certainly do not need to neglect her sexuality or be afraid to show your physical attraction to her, but just go easy on that part of the relationship for now is my advice.
Hey my hubby has been THREATENING me with a maid for months...I can't stand the thought of it, makes me feel like I am totally disabled.......I am NOT!... I just can't do a lot at the moment0 -
...shower her with Victoria Secret....
Tell her you love her....and that you are right there (I can tell, you are! lucky her!!!).
I will share an experience today. Now, I am one of the 'old hands' here....4 years since cancer entered my life.
I used to be a blood donor (over 2 gallons at last count). One of the hardest phone calls was to the center to tell them that I had been diagnosed and was being treated for cancer, and that I could not longer donate. They wished me well.
I returned there today. I had heard that some people, after a certain amount of time, could resume donating. So, I asked. The answer? A resounding 'YES!'. There was a hitch, though. My iron was too low. But that is a 4-week deferral...not a lifetime one!! My nurse was so disappointed that I couldn't donate today, and urged me to try again. I said to her "You gave me the best present today, anyway...another piece of 'normal'!"
So, give her you and normal...that's the BEST!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
You are a Gift!
Bless your heart!!! If you showered her prior to cancer, shower her again! My ladies here will NOT blush when I tell them that without a doubt, one of the MOST romantic things my man did for me after surgery ( no, not the day after surgery!) was to lift up my nightie and kiss my dented, scarred breast. It made me know , regardless of anything,he thought of me as a woman, and albeit fragile of heart, mind and body, a desirable one at that. It makes no difference that I didn't actually believe that I was any such desireable thing...5 years later I can still remember him making me feel I was "all that". We feel less than womanly and feminine with breast surgery~ if you are a Victoria's Secret kinda guy, I suggest you let her know how beautiful you still consider her to be.
As for jewelry? The night before my surgery, I was given a diamond ring which , I was told, meant that he was with me "for the long haul". You may do something similar. You have certainly reached the in sickness and health part of your vows, haven't you? Bless your heart for staying, and inquiring about this.
Happy Holidays to you both...
Claudia0 -
Gifts
Your wife is a lucky lady indeed just to have a husband who asks such a question. You know your wife's likes and dislikes better than we do and I bet you will pick out something she will enjoy. I'm sure that chemo does a number on her energy level and appetite (especially the days right after a treatment), but she will feel better by Christmas. If she liked jewelry before, she probably would love something special now too. My friends who had chemo tell me that sometimes it affected their sense of taste and smell. So I might steer clear of perfumes, even her favorite ones, and go for jewelry instead. Someone gave me a silver angel pin when I was first diagnosed that I still wear. But any jewelry you would have gotten her before cancer would do as well now. A particularly pretty nightie and nightgown that she could look pretty in might also make a nice package. I'm sure Victoria Secret might have a matching set for lounging around the house in something silky smooth and comfortable in her favorite color. You didn't say what operation your wife had. Lumpectomies, if that is what she is facing, don't make that much of a change in a woman's shape and any nightgown would work fine. A friend of mine loved foot massages while she was recovering. I'm sure they sell oils for that somewhere that you could both enjoy. If you have folks calling to see what they could give her, gift cards to a nearby restaurant that specializes in regular food might help with getting dinner on the table without a lot of fuss and bother. I preferred the gift cards to dinners that folks brought in because I could choose what I wanted and when I wanted it. But pick out something special for under the tree so your lady knows she is still the love of your life. Even if it is totally impractical, it will mean a lot to know you still see her as the woman you love.0 -
When my hair went, I sure
When my hair went, I sure enjoyed wearing pretty earrings. And after my masectomy I got a gift of lots of pretty panties (accentuate the positive!)
My advice is that all gifts that have directly to do with cancer NOT be a part of the Christmas exchange. I got only pledges to a BC walkathon that I was in for my 50th birthday. The big girl part of me was proud to be helping. The little girl part of me felt a little back seat to cancer.
You know, your wife may enjoy this site too and she would be very welcome and supported. But she will have to keep from peeking into this link...don't open till Christmas!
Best wishes to both of you, love, Joyce0 -
Give Grace
Along with whatever tangible gift you decide will fill your wife's love tank this Christmas, my suggestion is to live the next year with these four words in your heart each morning....."Grace for the Moment." Each of us here has a different story to tell about our experience with breast cancer, but I think we are all united in this thought: we don't want to walk this path alone.
As Max Lucado put it so eloquently: "Wouldn't it be nice if love were like a cafeteria line? What if you could look at the person with whom you live and select what you want and pass on what you don't?.....H'm, how about a bowl of good health and good moods. But job transfers, in-laws, and laundry [and cancer] are not on my diet. Wouldn't it be great if love were like a cafeteria line? It would be easier. It would be neater. It would be painless and peaceful. But you know what? It wouldn't be love. Love doesn't accept just a few things. Love is willing to accept all things."
Accept your wife....where she is....during this difficult time. I'm sure you're thinking....Of course I will. But there are many tearful days ahead, many days of recovery, many days of sadness, days when the dishes don't get done and the laundry is piling up. She's in one of the greatest battles she will ever face. So, give her the best gift of all....grace for each moment.
I remember six months into my treatments, I walked into the kitchen and started doing the dishes. They were piled high. I don't think I'd touched them for months. I turned to my husband, who never complained once about my negligence, and said, "It just dawned on me that we've had quite a few dirty dishes over the last few months and I haven't been the one cleaning them. Thank you, honey." In that moment, I loved him more deeply than I ever have. With four boys (ages 10 and under) to care for, I had to used every bit of extra energy I had to care for their needs. My husband never complained about the extra work he did. His grace to me was the best gift of all.
I'm so sorry that you and your wife are having to walk down this path.0 -
What a wonderful response!Chellebug said:Give Grace
Along with whatever tangible gift you decide will fill your wife's love tank this Christmas, my suggestion is to live the next year with these four words in your heart each morning....."Grace for the Moment." Each of us here has a different story to tell about our experience with breast cancer, but I think we are all united in this thought: we don't want to walk this path alone.
As Max Lucado put it so eloquently: "Wouldn't it be nice if love were like a cafeteria line? What if you could look at the person with whom you live and select what you want and pass on what you don't?.....H'm, how about a bowl of good health and good moods. But job transfers, in-laws, and laundry [and cancer] are not on my diet. Wouldn't it be great if love were like a cafeteria line? It would be easier. It would be neater. It would be painless and peaceful. But you know what? It wouldn't be love. Love doesn't accept just a few things. Love is willing to accept all things."
Accept your wife....where she is....during this difficult time. I'm sure you're thinking....Of course I will. But there are many tearful days ahead, many days of recovery, many days of sadness, days when the dishes don't get done and the laundry is piling up. She's in one of the greatest battles she will ever face. So, give her the best gift of all....grace for each moment.
I remember six months into my treatments, I walked into the kitchen and started doing the dishes. They were piled high. I don't think I'd touched them for months. I turned to my husband, who never complained once about my negligence, and said, "It just dawned on me that we've had quite a few dirty dishes over the last few months and I haven't been the one cleaning them. Thank you, honey." In that moment, I loved him more deeply than I ever have. With four boys (ages 10 and under) to care for, I had to used every bit of extra energy I had to care for their needs. My husband never complained about the extra work he did. His grace to me was the best gift of all.
I'm so sorry that you and your wife are having to walk down this path.
I am visualizing the cafeteria right now.
But there, if you selected the cancer, were extra side dishes. Joy. Appreciation of life. Experiencing hope and courage, in people that by all told shouldn't have any. THAT side dish keeps on being refilled!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
That was beautiful. ThankChellebug said:Give Grace
Along with whatever tangible gift you decide will fill your wife's love tank this Christmas, my suggestion is to live the next year with these four words in your heart each morning....."Grace for the Moment." Each of us here has a different story to tell about our experience with breast cancer, but I think we are all united in this thought: we don't want to walk this path alone.
As Max Lucado put it so eloquently: "Wouldn't it be nice if love were like a cafeteria line? What if you could look at the person with whom you live and select what you want and pass on what you don't?.....H'm, how about a bowl of good health and good moods. But job transfers, in-laws, and laundry [and cancer] are not on my diet. Wouldn't it be great if love were like a cafeteria line? It would be easier. It would be neater. It would be painless and peaceful. But you know what? It wouldn't be love. Love doesn't accept just a few things. Love is willing to accept all things."
Accept your wife....where she is....during this difficult time. I'm sure you're thinking....Of course I will. But there are many tearful days ahead, many days of recovery, many days of sadness, days when the dishes don't get done and the laundry is piling up. She's in one of the greatest battles she will ever face. So, give her the best gift of all....grace for each moment.
I remember six months into my treatments, I walked into the kitchen and started doing the dishes. They were piled high. I don't think I'd touched them for months. I turned to my husband, who never complained once about my negligence, and said, "It just dawned on me that we've had quite a few dirty dishes over the last few months and I haven't been the one cleaning them. Thank you, honey." In that moment, I loved him more deeply than I ever have. With four boys (ages 10 and under) to care for, I had to used every bit of extra energy I had to care for their needs. My husband never complained about the extra work he did. His grace to me was the best gift of all.
I'm so sorry that you and your wife are having to walk down this path.
That was beautiful. Thank you for writing it and letting me start my day reading it. Love, Joyce0 -
Any gift given from the
Any gift given from the heart will be special. So, I am sure that you will come up with an appropriate gift but the most important one of all is making her feel like a woman. Hugs, Lili0 -
Tiffany's
Tiffany's is always a good gift. A nice silver bracelet wouldn't cost you much more than $100.0 -
Thankszahalene said:How to wrap???
Not sure how to fit this under the tree, but a weekly or bi-weekly cleaning service would ease her mind and body if she has the job of keeping the home up and running like most of us do. Also, she is going to be needing to avoid crowds during treatment, so a shopping/delivery service would be nice if you live in an area where such things are offered. I am assuming here that you have to go to work and carry on with your usual schedule for the most part and are not available for these chores all the time.
Anything that pampers her and eases her spirit so she can concentrate on getting better will be much appreciated I am sure. The romantic gifts are always nice but for now she may need to feel more 'warm fuzzies' and less sexually suggestive types of gestures from you. You certainly do not need to neglect her sexuality or be afraid to show your physical attraction to her, but just go easy on that part of the relationship for now is my advice.
Thank you for your comment. I need to be strong for my wife, but at times don't know what to do other then be with her. All I want for Christmas is for my wife to be without pain. This suggestion really helped, thank again and Merry Christmas...0 -
Thank you...cabbott said:Gifts
Your wife is a lucky lady indeed just to have a husband who asks such a question. You know your wife's likes and dislikes better than we do and I bet you will pick out something she will enjoy. I'm sure that chemo does a number on her energy level and appetite (especially the days right after a treatment), but she will feel better by Christmas. If she liked jewelry before, she probably would love something special now too. My friends who had chemo tell me that sometimes it affected their sense of taste and smell. So I might steer clear of perfumes, even her favorite ones, and go for jewelry instead. Someone gave me a silver angel pin when I was first diagnosed that I still wear. But any jewelry you would have gotten her before cancer would do as well now. A particularly pretty nightie and nightgown that she could look pretty in might also make a nice package. I'm sure Victoria Secret might have a matching set for lounging around the house in something silky smooth and comfortable in her favorite color. You didn't say what operation your wife had. Lumpectomies, if that is what she is facing, don't make that much of a change in a woman's shape and any nightgown would work fine. A friend of mine loved foot massages while she was recovering. I'm sure they sell oils for that somewhere that you could both enjoy. If you have folks calling to see what they could give her, gift cards to a nearby restaurant that specializes in regular food might help with getting dinner on the table without a lot of fuss and bother. I preferred the gift cards to dinners that folks brought in because I could choose what I wanted and when I wanted it. But pick out something special for under the tree so your lady knows she is still the love of your life. Even if it is totally impractical, it will mean a lot to know you still see her as the woman you love.
Your suggestions really help... She has not had a lumpectony or mastsectomy yet, the doctors wants her to be treated with chemo first and then decide about the surgery. She is the love of my life and all I want to do is make her happy 24/7. She does enjoy just being held at night and I wouldn't miss that for the world each evening. Thanks again and have a wonderful Christmas, it's nice to know someone out there cares...0 -
I'm just sayin....zahalene said:How to wrap???
Not sure how to fit this under the tree, but a weekly or bi-weekly cleaning service would ease her mind and body if she has the job of keeping the home up and running like most of us do. Also, she is going to be needing to avoid crowds during treatment, so a shopping/delivery service would be nice if you live in an area where such things are offered. I am assuming here that you have to go to work and carry on with your usual schedule for the most part and are not available for these chores all the time.
Anything that pampers her and eases her spirit so she can concentrate on getting better will be much appreciated I am sure. The romantic gifts are always nice but for now she may need to feel more 'warm fuzzies' and less sexually suggestive types of gestures from you. You certainly do not need to neglect her sexuality or be afraid to show your physical attraction to her, but just go easy on that part of the relationship for now is my advice.
When I was battling breast cancer, my (now ex) put a LOT of pressure on me to be 'sexually active' whether I felt like it physically, mentally, emotionally or not. I would have greatly appreciated a little 'space' there. Love without demands is reeeeeeally appreciated at a time like that and can be expressed in lots and lots of ways.0 -
Christmas Giftchenheart said:You are a Gift!
Bless your heart!!! If you showered her prior to cancer, shower her again! My ladies here will NOT blush when I tell them that without a doubt, one of the MOST romantic things my man did for me after surgery ( no, not the day after surgery!) was to lift up my nightie and kiss my dented, scarred breast. It made me know , regardless of anything,he thought of me as a woman, and albeit fragile of heart, mind and body, a desirable one at that. It makes no difference that I didn't actually believe that I was any such desireable thing...5 years later I can still remember him making me feel I was "all that". We feel less than womanly and feminine with breast surgery~ if you are a Victoria's Secret kinda guy, I suggest you let her know how beautiful you still consider her to be.
As for jewelry? The night before my surgery, I was given a diamond ring which , I was told, meant that he was with me "for the long haul". You may do something similar. You have certainly reached the in sickness and health part of your vows, haven't you? Bless your heart for staying, and inquiring about this.
Happy Holidays to you both...
Claudia
After looking at the responses to my question, I finally bought her a Breast Cancer Bracelet and a gift certificate at the spa. I also will give her my heart and soul to be with her every moment, as we fight this battle. Thanks to everyone who responded to my question and have a Merry Christmas...God Bless you all.0 -
Christmas Giftchenheart said:You are a Gift!
Bless your heart!!! If you showered her prior to cancer, shower her again! My ladies here will NOT blush when I tell them that without a doubt, one of the MOST romantic things my man did for me after surgery ( no, not the day after surgery!) was to lift up my nightie and kiss my dented, scarred breast. It made me know , regardless of anything,he thought of me as a woman, and albeit fragile of heart, mind and body, a desirable one at that. It makes no difference that I didn't actually believe that I was any such desireable thing...5 years later I can still remember him making me feel I was "all that". We feel less than womanly and feminine with breast surgery~ if you are a Victoria's Secret kinda guy, I suggest you let her know how beautiful you still consider her to be.
As for jewelry? The night before my surgery, I was given a diamond ring which , I was told, meant that he was with me "for the long haul". You may do something similar. You have certainly reached the in sickness and health part of your vows, haven't you? Bless your heart for staying, and inquiring about this.
Happy Holidays to you both...
Claudia
After looking at the responses to my question, I finally bought her a Breast Cancer Bracelet and a gift certificate at the spa. I also will give her my heart and soul to be with her every moment, as we fight this battle. Thanks to everyone who responded to my question and have a Merry Christmas...God Bless you all.0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.5K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 443 Bladder Cancer
- 307 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.4K Breast Cancer
- 393 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 13K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.3K Kidney Cancer
- 667 Leukemia
- 791 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 235 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 55 Pancreatic Cancer
- 486 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.4K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 535 Sarcoma
- 724 Skin Cancer
- 649 Stomach Cancer
- 190 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.8K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards