Angelica2003 Member Posts: 20
edited March 2014 in Prostate Cancer #1
Well I have been so busy since last Monday. Brian and I went to the
Urologist/surgeon on Monday and discussed his biopsy results and what
was his best option. The surgeon reasured Brian and I that he would
never do surgery unless there is a good reason to put the patient
through it and all the side effects. He was very soft spoken and I
had a good vibe from him right from the minute he introduced himself
to me and Brian. He then said that this was an imformative
appointment and there was no need to make a date for surgery. That
usually his patients make a date in 2 weeks to discuss what to do.
He gave us alot of infor most that we already knew.

The good thing was he had been doing this for 30+ years but Brian at
38 was the youngest he had seen. The other was 41. He told us that
in his expereince he has seen Brians scores and family history on
other patients and 85% of the time there is more cancer then the
biopsy showed. And that he suspects that Brian had more. He went
into saying that his was a medium (moderate not slow) growing cancer.

He went into detail on surgery and what his possible outcome would
be. Told him about having a catheter for 2 weeks after being
released form the hospital, and that after when the catheter comes
out he will HAVE incontance, so to bring a breif of some sort. He
then discussed penial rehab and told him that he had a patient go
home after the catheter was removed and have sex that night. He told
Brina with his age and stanaima, he will have little to no problems
with erections or holding his bladder. That he exstimates full
recovery in less then a year maybe 3 months. Also he does open
surgery but at the same time nerve sparing. And he will be in the
hospital for 3-5 days.

Well anyways to my surprise Brian at the end of it all said, " I want
to book the surgery. We have looked up info on the net, in books and
watched videos. We have also talked to other ppl. There is no more
to really learn or study. I just want the surgery to have the relief
that it is gone, even though there is no guarentee it will not come
back. I just want to go on with life and the prostate cancer is
eating away at me and my wife's gut/brian. Could we please book a

At that point the Dr said sure, as long as he was definatly positve
that that is what "WE" want? Brian said YES.

SO Brian signed a concent form and we got the date on tuesday.

He is having surgery January 9th, 2009 at 7am. And we hope he will
be home by sunday or Tuesday at the latest.

So there we have it. Brian is getting more and more worried as the
day gets closer but, he says "I just cannot let it stay in there and
grow." Sometimes he is sensitive and it does not matter what I say
it is wrong but, when that happens I just walk away and tell him "I
know you are not mad or meaning to be like this toward me. I know it
is just your emotions escaping but, I think you need time to sort
things a bit. After which you can come and we can talk. I love you"
Then I leave him alone and he always finds me and grabs me tight and
usually cries and tells me he is just scared. I tell him I
understand. That I am scared to.

I am scared that things will go wrong and Brian will say, "I did this
for you and now look at me." That is a fear I have. That he is
doing it for me. I have talked to Brian and he has said that if he
did not want the surgery he would not do it, that he thinks it is
best for him and the family.

Anyways there it is. An update.


  • johndeer
    johndeer Member Posts: 17
    I just made the same decision, to have the surgery, that is. I decided on the robotic surgery at City of Hope, CA. Even after all my analyses, I had doubts.I had a conversation with my pastor and friend and told him that I need to feel sure that I am making the best decision. If things go wrong, I want to not punish myself, and say "I knew I shoulda..." Jim told me that after doing my due diligence in studying, talking to folks, listening to Drs., reading and all, that I have done my best to become informed, and the rest is just based on my faith in God. God pulled me through the hardest part so far, the hearing of the diagnosis. Another thing Jim said is that there are no guarantees for anything. You can never be absolutely sure that you have a 100% chance of potency or continence or 50 years of life, regardless of your choice. So be at peace knowing that you feel comfortable with your surgeon and the procedure you have chosen, and give the doubt up to Father God. My God has been faithful to me to take care of me so far in my life quite well. This cancer diagnosis has changed my perspective, my outlook on life. It's a near-miss that I will make it through. You and Brian will make it through this, too. Be at peace, God bless and Merry Christmas, Rick
  • larry59
    larry59 Member Posts: 41
    best to you
    Caught early treatment (surgery) is tough but highly effective in getting rid of the cancer. Aftereffects such as incontinence or impotence can be treated many different ways. Best of luck to Brian and you and just take one day at a time.