I don't like the writing on the wall! My dad has cancer and I am scared!
Thanks y'all for listening...
Comments
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I am so sorry about your dad
I am so sorry about your dad and his situation. There is nothing more frustrating than wanting to help those we love and feeling constricted by distance and circumstances beyond our control.
I would suggest that you contact the American Cancer Society in your dad's area. They can help with transportation issues and many other challenges your dad is facing.
You spoke of the difficulty of communicating with your dad on the phone. Maybe you and family could present dad with a computer for Christmas this year if he doesn't have access to one. It might give him a focus and a distraction which is sometimes sorely needed in hard times and also give him a much needed connection to help and comfort. We would love to have him join us here.
Good luck and God bless you all.0 -
Difficult but understandable
Mom had cancer of larynx top of voicebox. Everyones situation is different and im glad your dad is so optimistic . The fight is ahead of him and as long as he stays positive and focused the odds are in his favor. It must be difficult to be so far away but hopefully you can get friends or other family members, someone from church, volunteers from other organizations try calling american cancer society ask at oncology social workers i know they had a van that took my mom to her appointmnets the days i couldnt, she lived 25 minute away. I dont your dads outlook but without radiation working i know there are other tretaments availabale and he will need support with whatever he chooses. Some get side effects othes dont, but theres always a chance. I dont know your family lifestyle but you say you cant move to him is there a way he could move in with you? Maybe if he moves with you there will be more friends, family available to help out.
At Age 57 Mom quit smoking, it was Extremely hard for her and took her a while but after radiation didnt work and she needed surgery and had the major surgery that was the end of cigarettes for her. If he could stop it would probably be in his best interest for recovery at the most part. Its got to be the hardest thing to stop (from what i hear).
Best of luck0 -
Dear Zahalenezahalene said:I am so sorry about your dad
I am so sorry about your dad and his situation. There is nothing more frustrating than wanting to help those we love and feeling constricted by distance and circumstances beyond our control.
I would suggest that you contact the American Cancer Society in your dad's area. They can help with transportation issues and many other challenges your dad is facing.
You spoke of the difficulty of communicating with your dad on the phone. Maybe you and family could present dad with a computer for Christmas this year if he doesn't have access to one. It might give him a focus and a distraction which is sometimes sorely needed in hard times and also give him a much needed connection to help and comfort. We would love to have him join us here.
Good luck and God bless you all.
Thank you for your words of encouragement. Dad was able spend Thanksgiving with family which I was really happy about. I talked with him regarding transportation and he said ASC would pay for gas to get there, but he had not asked about an actual ride. So, I will follow up on that. I also asked him about using the computer more. During his illness his email has gotten out of control. When we visit Christmas I will help him clean it out so he can enjoy his computer more than feeling overwhelmed just by opening his email.0 -
Dear Hunpothunpot said:Difficult but understandable
Mom had cancer of larynx top of voicebox. Everyones situation is different and im glad your dad is so optimistic . The fight is ahead of him and as long as he stays positive and focused the odds are in his favor. It must be difficult to be so far away but hopefully you can get friends or other family members, someone from church, volunteers from other organizations try calling american cancer society ask at oncology social workers i know they had a van that took my mom to her appointmnets the days i couldnt, she lived 25 minute away. I dont your dads outlook but without radiation working i know there are other tretaments availabale and he will need support with whatever he chooses. Some get side effects othes dont, but theres always a chance. I dont know your family lifestyle but you say you cant move to him is there a way he could move in with you? Maybe if he moves with you there will be more friends, family available to help out.
At Age 57 Mom quit smoking, it was Extremely hard for her and took her a while but after radiation didnt work and she needed surgery and had the major surgery that was the end of cigarettes for her. If he could stop it would probably be in his best interest for recovery at the most part. Its got to be the hardest thing to stop (from what i hear).
Best of luck
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I was touched by your story. Is that a picture of your Mom? My mom is out of the picture. We have not seen or heard from her for a number of years. That is one reason this is so hard with Dad. He is my only parent and such a treasure and a character! We would love to have him live with us (we have been asking the last six years). He likes his independence and said he loves us BUT he needs his own space.
Dad is going for his consultation about removing his larynx probably in the next few weeks. Is there anything you can think of that he should ask the doctors regarding the procedure and treatment? Since all of his treatment up to this point has been at his local clinic the new doctors want new tests run. I think he had a CAT scan and will find out the results when he goes to his next appointment. Also, I hope they can find something for the pain in his throat.
Thanks so much for your response!0 -
picturehpthirteen said:Dear Hunpot
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I was touched by your story. Is that a picture of your Mom? My mom is out of the picture. We have not seen or heard from her for a number of years. That is one reason this is so hard with Dad. He is my only parent and such a treasure and a character! We would love to have him live with us (we have been asking the last six years). He likes his independence and said he loves us BUT he needs his own space.
Dad is going for his consultation about removing his larynx probably in the next few weeks. Is there anything you can think of that he should ask the doctors regarding the procedure and treatment? Since all of his treatment up to this point has been at his local clinic the new doctors want new tests run. I think he had a CAT scan and will find out the results when he goes to his next appointment. Also, I hope they can find something for the pain in his throat.
Thanks so much for your response!
I hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving.
yes that is mom 7 yrs ago. She lost over 90 lbs with treatment since that picture.
Everyone likes to be independant and have their own life styles so to say. He may not want to move in now but youll have to wait and see what they choose to do for treatments or surgery he may change his mind, For now give him his independence and space and let him tell you what he feels and wants as things may change soon. He will let you know when its time im sure they say they all now when they need help and security.
mom had a Partial laryngectomy with bilateral radial neck dissection and a trache tube put in was very extensive surgery over 10 hrs she was in intensive care for 2 weeks it was the most horrific thing i have seen in my life to see all the tubes and swelling in the facial area the pain was excrusiating. So i pray your dad does well if he needs to have anything done. Each person heals differntly and reacts differently its hard to say what hell need to have done so we have to wait and see with is consultation hopefully it wont be so drastic.
Its hard to say if theres something i can help you with to ask because i dont know too much about your situation the only thing that comes to my mind is MOM was so scared and DID NOT want to lose her voice she was so ADIMENT about leaving voicebox in so Doctors said they couldnt promise but would do there best, well day of surgery i said to dctr do what you have to to get it all even if you have to remove it just save her, ,we waited and waited he came out and told us he was able to save the voicebox, she had extensive cancer throughout her neck worse then they had expected but he was postitive he got it all but there was a chance there could be live cells still there just not showing yet but he was sure he got all there was ..so from that day on we were scared, needless to say three months later cancer came back same spot, cant do a surgery again becaue of scar tissue and she wasnt quiet heeled yet(she didnt heel to good). SO if i had to do it all over again in my situation I WOULD have the whole voicebox removed so there hopefully would be less chance of cancer coming back, NOBODY wants to be without their voice but after what i now and saw and learned in moms situation
If their is a chance and you have to do surgery and you can only do surgery once then do the most dramatic because i feel it would possibly give you a better outlook in beating it later on and hopefully you wouldnt have to do other treatments(chemo was moms last option and even that didnt work). Their is always a chance of recurrence but why take the chance and put yourself though it over and over again.
Has your dad had a pet scan? IF not ASK for pet SCAN immediately , that is better test of the whole body gives you better results then cat scan.
For pain my mom had a patch 6x4 that she would put on for 12 hrs on her upper back to help with pain it worked, she also was on morphine it seemed to lessen the pain for her. I am waiting to get coopies of all her doctors reports and so forth so i can have direct names of different things that worked and didnt. I WISH YOU NOTHING BUT THE BEST,
I hope i answered some questions anymore just ask away moms stor is so long and extensive i could be here for 3 months explaining things that worked and didnt.
i pray everynight that noone ever has to go through what mom and I went through. My direct email is hunpot@comcast.net if you ever need me in a hurry.
GOD BLESS
tracy0
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