radiation emotional scars

jasperjoan

My radiation treatments stopped in April, but I still am unable to sleep due to the emotional trauma. My center wasn't patient oriented. They are tied into a teaching facilitiy and I felt that I was treated like a lab speciman instead of like a patient. I told them I didn't want trainees involved in my treatments, but 2 were. No one went over the treatment release form with me prior to my treatments, or at anytime during the treatments. I felt I was not a part of the team.

zahalene

I am sorry....
you did not get the emotional treatment you feel you deserved. Cancer is hard enough in the best of circumstances with the best people on our team, and even harder when we don't 'connect' with our medical people on an emotional level.
But now you are done with that phase and can move on. I suggest you find a support group (we are available here ) and just say it all, over and over again if you feel the need, until you feel 'released' from the tension of an unhappy experience. Then you can concentrate on supporting others in a similar situation from what you have learned. We are all about 'paying it forward' here. Welcome aboard.

mmontero38

Sorry Jasper you had such an
Sorry Jasper you had such an unpleasant experience with your treatments. Cancer is hard enough to deal with, without having that extra emotional support from our doctors as well as family and friends. At least, you are done and we want you to know that we are here for you. Any time you feel the need to connect, we are here. I have to say that on this board there are a great group of women and men that will give you all the advice you ask for and them some. LOL. We do like to give advice. LOL. Welcome to our group and post anytime you need to. You can also do live chat where you will meet many survivors as well as caregivers that can give you emotional support. Hugs, Lili

jasperjoan

Thanks
Thanks to those who have replied. Other than radiation, my breast cancer journey has been very positive. As I did not have to have full blown chemo, but take the Arimidex pill, I am very thankful. When I visit my oncologist's office, I see the chemo room, and the patients coming in and leaving. As I teach crochet and that is my passion, I have been crocheting chemo hats for my oncologist's office. I use the softest yarn I can find, and am always looking for different patterns and yarn combos. I have found healing for myself as I reach out to others. Needless to say, there is no charge for my hats.

The oncologist's office is doing a basket for the Relay for Life event 2009, and I am also crocheting some items for that...in pink, of course! I am doing some purple crocheted items for my county's local Cancer Society chapter's Relay for Life/Cancer Survivor's dinner. Again, I am so very blessed to be able to give back in some small way and to reach out and to encourage others.

My mind knows that I have to find a way to let go of the trauma of the degrading and humiliating way I was treated by my radiation center. I know I need to be able to sleep at night, and to put that experience behind me.

I think that what will do that for me is to know that the radiation center has learned to include the patient in on their treatment team...not to treat them as science experiments and/or teaching tools. I want the center to be mindful of the patient and his/her feelings, to treat them compassionately. Simple things, like going over the treatment release plan with them, having a dressing room rather than having to disrobe and dress in front of the techs and students, having a "walk-through" of the facility and having the equipment and procedures explained to the patient BEFORE the patient comes for treatment....my center didn't do this at any time. Have a robe/gown for the patient to wear....I didn't have anything.

I have had other ladies tell me how compassionate their treatment centers are. I am making note of those centers and should I need another cancer treatment, I will interview those centers.

thanks for your encouragement. I know many of you have much worse cancers, and have endured more than I have. My GYN was so wonderful. She hugged me, encouraged me, and prescribed the "mood enhancer" med for me. That enables me to sleep about 4 hrs. a night.

The social director for the group that I went to for radiation told me that I am more vocal than most. I have come to believe that is why I had to suffer this way. I have become the voice for those who are too timid to speak out for themselves. I want to save others from going through this experience. Radiation and the cancer journey is tough enough without having to be treated like an experiment instead of like a person with emotions and feelings.

zahalene

jasperjoan said:

Thanks
Thanks to those who have replied. Other than radiation, my breast cancer journey has been very positive. As I did not have to have full blown chemo, but take the Arimidex pill, I am very thankful. When I visit my oncologist's office, I see the chemo room, and the patients coming in and leaving. As I teach crochet and that is my passion, I have been crocheting chemo hats for my oncologist's office. I use the softest yarn I can find, and am always looking for different patterns and yarn combos. I have found healing for myself as I reach out to others. Needless to say, there is no charge for my hats.

The oncologist's office is doing a basket for the Relay for Life event 2009, and I am also crocheting some items for that...in pink, of course! I am doing some purple crocheted items for my county's local Cancer Society chapter's Relay for Life/Cancer Survivor's dinner. Again, I am so very blessed to be able to give back in some small way and to reach out and to encourage others.

My mind knows that I have to find a way to let go of the trauma of the degrading and humiliating way I was treated by my radiation center. I know I need to be able to sleep at night, and to put that experience behind me.

I think that what will do that for me is to know that the radiation center has learned to include the patient in on their treatment team...not to treat them as science experiments and/or teaching tools. I want the center to be mindful of the patient and his/her feelings, to treat them compassionately. Simple things, like going over the treatment release plan with them, having a dressing room rather than having to disrobe and dress in front of the techs and students, having a "walk-through" of the facility and having the equipment and procedures explained to the patient BEFORE the patient comes for treatment....my center didn't do this at any time. Have a robe/gown for the patient to wear....I didn't have anything.

I have had other ladies tell me how compassionate their treatment centers are. I am making note of those centers and should I need another cancer treatment, I will interview those centers.

thanks for your encouragement. I know many of you have much worse cancers, and have endured more than I have. My GYN was so wonderful. She hugged me, encouraged me, and prescribed the "mood enhancer" med for me. That enables me to sleep about 4 hrs. a night.

The social director for the group that I went to for radiation told me that I am more vocal than most. I have come to believe that is why I had to suffer this way. I have become the voice for those who are too timid to speak out for themselves. I want to save others from going through this experience. Radiation and the cancer journey is tough enough without having to be treated like an experiment instead of like a person with emotions and feelings.

U GO GIRL!
I am so happy you added these comments to your original post. NO WAY are you allowing yourself to be a victim of the less-than-professional (in my opinion...no robe or gown? unacceptable!!!) treatment you received, and that in itself is a definite sign of healing. But as we often have to remind each other here....baby steps, baby steps. It won't happen overnight, but one day you will find that you have grown beyond your unhappy experience.
And we would looooove to help you get there in any way we can.