Newly diagnosed, and scared

knarrly

After having surgery on 10/17/08 (after 3 weeks of extreme abdominal pain) to remove what the doctor thought was a benign ovarian cyst, they discovered it was instead Ovarian Cancer. I went for my first visit to the gyn. oncologist at the Cancer Institute of NJ. Next week I will be having a complete hysterectomy and staging surgery to find out how bad this is. The doctor seems to think that it's a pretty good chance that chemo will follow.

I am a 30 year old mother of three. Because of all the complications, my mom has been staying with us since September 22, the day after the pains started. I feel way too sick to drive, so she's been helping out so much. But, I feel like I have no one to talk to! My husband is seriously stressed, and my mom is in some serious denial. My dad, who had to drive me to yesterday's appointment, seems to be fairly withdrawn.

I'm hoping to be able to find some people in here who understand what I'm going through...

Dreamdove

It's ok to be scared
You're so young! I was 51. I'm 53 now and still around. I always feel better when I can be open with people. I don't want to have to pretend anything. If I am worried or scared, I want to express it. You seem to have support from the people around you but they seem too scared to deal with it. Hopefully, as time goes on, they will handle it better. They feel helpless, I'm sure. I think my mother and sister took the news worse than I did. As time went on, I think they learned to deal with it. I can talk about it openly to them, whatever. The people on here are very supportive. They understand. They understand like no one else can. You don't have to pretend to be brave. You can whine if you want. I hope you find this to be true for you. Take care.

1wishmaker

Scared
Like many of us you have been taken completely off guard by this.....as for me I went in for my annual pap smear and left being told I may have ovarian cancer......my visit to the gyn/onc the next day pretty much confirmed it and my surgery was done 4 days later. That was back in August of this year.....this is the end of October and only now have I begun to come back to the real world. And accept my diagnosis.
Here's what I'd like to share with you....next week I go in for my chemo....I do 3 days of chemo then I have a 21 day break in between....I have completed 3 so I'm halfway thru.
Just remember what you read on the internet may not be true.....everyone is different and everyone of us responds to the surgery and chemo differently. Last treatment I sat next to a lovely lady who was a 16 year survivor of ovarian cancer but now was having a recurrance.
Your life is going to change drastically......and the chemo for me has not been as bad as I thought it would be.....but when the time comes for me to walk in that treatment room I want to scream and turn and run away.....I just want this to be over with and I go on with my life.
The hardest part for me is realizing the chemo is whats killing the cancer.....yes, you will have side effects.....sometimes I think having to do the chemo makes you face the fact that you do have cancer....in between treatments you will feel great and like your old self.....and then its treatment time again.
About a month ago I took out my craft paints and painted in huge letters in red paint on the wall in my bedroom....the date I was diagnosed and the words...I have cancer....it seemed I needed to read it to believe it....but underneath it I wrote....Remission and left a space for the date and the I painted ..."I" am cancer free.....I think most of all you need to wake up every day and say to yourself.....I am cancer free.....maybe its not today......but maybe its tomorrow.
Hugs to You,
Stay Strong! Don't be scared.....you can do this.

Unknown

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

mopar

STAY STRONG
You've gotten some very good advice from these wonderful ladies. I am also a survivor - dx in 2000, surgery & chemo; recurrance in 2006, surgery & chemo. It is scary when you initially hear those words. And you will go through all kinds of emotions during this journey. You family is just as concerned, and this is probably hard for them to understand and deal with. I think as time goes on and more information is available (knowledge is power!), they will be able to cope better, and so will you.

Keeping a journal is a good way to vent. I also used it to keep track of my progress, treatments, how I felt, etc. As for your family, you are so blessed to have them by your side. I believe they are just as perplexed as you and just don't know what to say or do. So, hang in there. Although your life will change, you WILL have a LIFE. And things will mellow out, you will go with the flow, and you will find strength. You are young, and strong, and you have a supportive family. Your husband will come around too, and find his way to deal with this.

I hope this helps. Come back and share more with us. We'll be waiting to hear.

Hugs and Prayers,
Monika

BonnieR

Welcome
Welcome to the ovca board, but so sorry you have to be here and so young. Very disturbing that you original doc didn't do more tests b4 surgery or refer you to a gyn/onc right away. More awareness and education needed I guess.

But they have you going to right Dr now and that makes a world of difference. I was glad to read your mom was staying with you and that someone goes to your Dr appts with you. It is really important to have someone else hearing what the Dr is saying. We hear different things and remember different things. Also write down questions you may have for them, come here often with your questions too, and with your feelings, fears, and victories.

Sending lots of prayers up for you, your little ones and your family. Hugs Bonnie

kayandok

You will be ok
Welcome to the club that none of us wanted to belong to. And I'm so sorry that you are so young and have three little ones. I can hear the desperation in your message and I remember so well feeling the same way. I was dx at 51, June 07 with OVCA 3C. (I also have three kids, youngest are 10 year old twins.) Like you, they were only going to remove some ovarian cysts. I was so confident there would be no cancer. Then I woke up to the big "C" word. I felt like a ton of bricks was dumped into my hospital bed and I couldn't breath, literally, for a minute. I was scared to death. But, we took everything a step at a time, God gave the grace we needed for each step and we made it. I am currently NED (no evidence of disease) as of June 08. I pray I won't have a recurrence, but I know if I do, I can take it on just like the first time.

It is so important that you are able to process your feelings and thoughts. It sounds like your family is very caring. They may be in "denial" right now but are probably trying to process everything. Actually, I have come to appreciate "denial" and have used it many times when I just couldn't face my reality. Sometimes it is a good thing, and can get you through a very hard day. Being in denial forever is not a good thing and can be harmful, as it prevents you from gathering the important information you need to help yourself. As you share your thoughts and feelings openly, that will probably help your family to come to terms with reality. I know many of the ladies also belong to support groups which I think would be a huge help. (I live in Japan and don't have that kind of luxury.) For me the OVCA boards, my family and friends, journaling and prayer were everything to helping me make it through.

Trust me, you will be ok. It is really hard to imagine now, but just take it a step at a time. And access this board when you are up to it.I know you will find it helpful.


Prayers and hugs,
kathleen

ladyjogger31

Newly Diagnosed
First let me say welcome, and sorry we have to meet under these curcumstances. Yes, being 30 is very young.I am 57,had my surgery Feb.29,2008 and was diagnosed with stage 3C OVCA. I am still in treatment I've had 8 rounds of carbo/taxol and now doxil. I know this is hard to handle, but you'll make it through,being positive and having a good attitude means everything.I pray alot for strength to make it another day, and for all of us affected by this disease.
Hang in there..you have a whole family who loves you!!And alot of OVCA sisters who will pray for you.Good Luck!
Hugs and Prayers,
Terry

saundra

Do what you can, when you can..
Like the rest of us you have stumbled into a great place. None of us like to welcome a new member but all of us like to share what we have learned that will help you cope with this disease. I check it everyday and have learned supplements to take to ease the side effects of chemo, that not all of us react exactly the same, that all of us say a gyn/onc is the best doctor to treat you and the only one to do the surgery. Most of us have support of our families but no family member can know what we are feeling. Most of us are really close to God and journal frequently. Ask what you want to know and you will get experienced answers from the world over. Develope a fighting attitude and become a WARRIOR! (((Hugs and Prayers)))
Saundra

knarrly

Thank you everyone!
It really cheered me up to see so many responses from ladies who are going through the same thing.

I just had my pre-op bloodwork done yesterday and my surgery is scheduled for Tuesday.

floridajo

Hello
I can't add anything else to what these ladies have so far told you. I would like to welcome you and let you know we are there for you...no matter how trival your thought or problem might be...please feel free to ask and vent anytime...~~~Joanne

saundra

Husbands
Husbands are just as much in shock by this diagnosis as we are. My husband will be glad to answer his questions if he wants to post on this site. Joe posted as I recovered from surgery to keep my friends here updated. That gave him something to do. I was out of it...on morphine 6 days and don't remember too much of what was going on. This is a hard surgery and you will need help for a few weeks with the children. Take care of your self, rest often, eat well and anything else you can do to recover. Your first necessary step will be to walk the halls in the hospital to get the plumbing working. The more you can force yourself the better you will be. Walk farther each day. We will be praying for you. Saundra

MJ

you are in my prayers
I just had a surgery on October 2nd - was a massive growth. I was thinking it was a cyst but it was ovarian cancer Stage I . Am starting chemo tomorrow (Nov 17). I am 50 and have been jogging for 30 yrs - 6 times a week.

Stay positive - easier to say - this is what have kept me going. Stay active and don't give up. It has been hard also on my husband but I know you can be strong.

Please stay in touch.

MJ

knarrly said:

Thank you everyone!
It really cheered me up to see so many responses from ladies who are going through the same thing.

I just had my pre-op bloodwork done yesterday and my surgery is scheduled for Tuesday.

How are you feeling?
I had surgery on October 2nd and did not want to give up on life. Stay active - take walks if you can. At the beginning, I just felt sorry for me. Please stay positive.