Laryngeal cancer

Frank203
Frank203 Member Posts: 7
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
My husband has been diagnoses with laryngeal cancer and is about to start treatment with radiation daily and Erbitux (chemo) weekly. He seems to be in a depression, staring at the TV but not watching, sleeping a lot and not eating the high caloric meals he was told to eat to gain weight for when he could no longer swallow. He is his own man and will not listen to my advice. I fear what the future holds when the results of the radiation begins. Is there help for this problem?

Comments

  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    #2
    A couple of things...
    First of all, I assume the diagnosis has been fairly recent.
    This kind of reaction (withdrawal, etc.) is not uncommon, and in fact is quite normal. We have a 'fight or flight' mechanism in our psyche and your husband is in the 'flight' mode at the moment. He just wants to get away from it and is trying to do so in the only way he can. Hopefully, this mode will switch from 'flight' to 'fight' in time. He may need some professional counseling to help him make the transition.

    Secondly, you say he will not listen to what you are trying to tell him. This too is normal. Often those closest to us are the ones we shut out in extreme crisis. Unconsciously, perhaps, he is trying to protect you from this emotional train wreck. Don't give up trying to re-connect with him, but at the same time, try not to push him into taking action. Instead try to lead him into it. Once again, you may be able to do this only by finding other help for him, such as professional counseling as I mentioned earlier. Of course, getting him to go may be another challenge. I suggest you talk to his doctors about this and ask them to encourage him in that direction.
    Good luck and God bless you both.
  • Frank203
    Frank203 Member Posts: 7
    #3
    zahalene said:

    A couple of things...
    First of all, I assume the diagnosis has been fairly recent.
    This kind of reaction (withdrawal, etc.) is not uncommon, and in fact is quite normal. We have a 'fight or flight' mechanism in our psyche and your husband is in the 'flight' mode at the moment. He just wants to get away from it and is trying to do so in the only way he can. Hopefully, this mode will switch from 'flight' to 'fight' in time. He may need some professional counseling to help him make the transition.

    Secondly, you say he will not listen to what you are trying to tell him. This too is normal. Often those closest to us are the ones we shut out in extreme crisis. Unconsciously, perhaps, he is trying to protect you from this emotional train wreck. Don't give up trying to re-connect with him, but at the same time, try not to push him into taking action. Instead try to lead him into it. Once again, you may be able to do this only by finding other help for him, such as professional counseling as I mentioned earlier. Of course, getting him to go may be another challenge. I suggest you talk to his doctors about this and ask them to encourage him in that direction.
    Good luck and God bless you both.

    Thank you for your reply. I'm hoping to discuss this with someone at the Cancer Center, if and when I get the chance to speak alone. Tomorrow starts his daily treatment and we are now finding out that it is not as simple as originally thought. What we thought was just a ten minute dose of radiation now involves a nausea causing shot (1 hr.) before and 2 hrs. of chemo.to follow. This has added to his fits of rage. I do feel somewhat better after reading what you had to say about his anger being normal.
    Thank you again.
  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    #4
    Frank203 said:

    Thank you for your reply. I'm hoping to discuss this with someone at the Cancer Center, if and when I get the chance to speak alone. Tomorrow starts his daily treatment and we are now finding out that it is not as simple as originally thought. What we thought was just a ten minute dose of radiation now involves a nausea causing shot (1 hr.) before and 2 hrs. of chemo.to follow. This has added to his fits of rage. I do feel somewhat better after reading what you had to say about his anger being normal.
    Thank you again.

    Tomorrow
    The biggest mistake I made during my cancer treatments was assuming that because I had to undergo this or that or whatever they chose to do to me, I also had to endure whatever side effects came with the package. Please talk to the doctors about ALL side effects that are fore casted or crop up in the process. There are helpful methods and medications for side effects. If your husband is the stoic type you may have to complain and whine in his behalf (whatever works :)).
  • Frank203
    Frank203 Member Posts: 7
    #5
    Ensure
    Is there any place I could get Ensure at a discount or wholesale? My husband has laryngeal cancer and is in his 4th week of treatment. He is having difficulty swallowing and will soon have to use his feeding tube. He'll need 6 to 8 cans of Ensure a day to maintain his weight. Most stores around here only carry 2 to 4 of the six packs at a time.

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