Is the beast back?

Kitty3571

Each time there is an ache or a pain, as everyone knows - you always think to yourself "is it back"? I've been struggling with a few things since my original diagnosis in Feb, 06
My most recent is pain & numbness in my previously unaffected side - Feels like there is a hot poker in my armpit area, very sensitive skin and pain running through the arm and numbness and tingling into the forearm and hand - makes it hard to type, sleep, drive - anything. I mentioned the sypmtoms to my breast surgeon when I had my followup with him last month (the symptoms have worsened since then) He said he couldn't find anything - He gave me my usual breast ultrasound, said I had fiber in that breast and sent my on my way.

Could the fiber be causing this pain? Why is it there? Can anything be done about it? Is the cancer back or now in my bones? These are questions that I will be asking my family doc tomorrow when I see her - I was going to ask her to send me for a second opinion, to a different surgeon perhaps and order some tests

But what tests? What the heck is the difference bewteen an MRI, a CT Scan and a PET Scan? I think I want a PET Scan - I read that this test can detect cancer? Who knows? Very frustrated - not so much that it would be back but if it does, I want to catch it in time like the first time.

Thanks for listening to this scared kitty!

zahalene

I am sorry you are having so many scary issues. It seems sometimes that we just can't get a 'day off' from the stress.
You are wise to keep after your various doctors and even get as many other opinions as it takes to ease your mind and take care of anything that needs tending to asap.
Write down all these questions and keep bugging your medial team until you get the answers you need that will let you sleep at night.
Hope you are purrrrrrrring again soon.

Kitty3571

Thanks!
Thanks for your kind words, just needed to vent I guess - All this going on and can't even talk to my husband about it. He just can't deal - What the h*ll is he going to do if it ever comes back? He is so selfish at times. I try to put myself in his shoes, trying to imagine how I would feel if it were him batteling cancer - would I be a strong supportive spouse? It's all been very frustrating - Man I could write a book

Worst of all, recently I was interviewed and my survival stroy was published in a local magazine - very hard to put your cancer experience into 800 words or less, must have edited it 20 times before I was satisfied. It went to the editor and they added a nice little tid-bit on their own without consulting with me. They put that my husband "proved his devotion, day in and day out" - Well as you can imagine this sent me over the edge. During the interview, I nevere let on or said much about my husband at all, just that it was difficult for him to deal with" - Of course I can't get into with them (what good would that do now) or him, becuase we are still together - Having a difficult time dealing with that. Guess I'm the selfish one? I should not worry about such petty things and be thankful that I'm still alive, right? Thanks again for listening as my rant goes on!

mgm42

Before BC
BEFORE my bc dx in November of 2007, I, too, had pain in my arm along with most of the other symptoms you described. Guess what -- NOT cancer. My family doctor sent me to a neurologist and I learned that I had a pinched nerve in my neck. An MRI and X-rays showed the problematic vertabra and offending disk. I received treatment and am fine. You may want to talk with your family physician who might be in the best position to diagnose your arm/shoulder problem and suggest what,if any, treatment or follow-up you might need. Hope this helps. Hugs, Marilynn

kbc4869

Kitty3571 said:

Thanks!
Thanks for your kind words, just needed to vent I guess - All this going on and can't even talk to my husband about it. He just can't deal - What the h*ll is he going to do if it ever comes back? He is so selfish at times. I try to put myself in his shoes, trying to imagine how I would feel if it were him batteling cancer - would I be a strong supportive spouse? It's all been very frustrating - Man I could write a book

Worst of all, recently I was interviewed and my survival stroy was published in a local magazine - very hard to put your cancer experience into 800 words or less, must have edited it 20 times before I was satisfied. It went to the editor and they added a nice little tid-bit on their own without consulting with me. They put that my husband "proved his devotion, day in and day out" - Well as you can imagine this sent me over the edge. During the interview, I nevere let on or said much about my husband at all, just that it was difficult for him to deal with" - Of course I can't get into with them (what good would that do now) or him, becuase we are still together - Having a difficult time dealing with that. Guess I'm the selfish one? I should not worry about such petty things and be thankful that I'm still alive, right? Thanks again for listening as my rant goes on!

New Spin on a Fairy Tale . . .
just wanted to say, Kitty, that the addition that the editor felt obliged to add about your husband's involvement in your experience would have ticked me off, too. It was like they felt that they needed to put a Fairy Tale spin to your experience to make their readers and themselves feel better about what you're going through. They should have just wrote it like this:

" . . . and Prince Charming placed the Glass Prothesis on Cancerella's Boob and it fit! And Cancerella was saved by the Prince. They got in the Big Pumpkin and went home where he did all the dishes after dinner and told her she was the fairest of them all and to lay down and get some rest. And they lived happily ever after!"

Bah!

Hang in there, Kitty!

Lots of love,
Kim

Kitty3571

Now that's funny!
Thanks for making me smile today Kim - I really need that!
You know when marriages have their problems or any relationship for that matter, and when something serious happens (ie: cancer) it sometimes brings people closer together? I guess because it's makes them possibly realize that there are more important things to life than fighting about stupid stuff? Well, not in my case - my cancer has drawn us even more apart - I just want to scream and runaway and hide from the world. Thanks for your input - I loved it! Kitty

kbc4869

Kitty3571 said:

Now that's funny!
Thanks for making me smile today Kim - I really need that!
You know when marriages have their problems or any relationship for that matter, and when something serious happens (ie: cancer) it sometimes brings people closer together? I guess because it's makes them possibly realize that there are more important things to life than fighting about stupid stuff? Well, not in my case - my cancer has drawn us even more apart - I just want to scream and runaway and hide from the world. Thanks for your input - I loved it! Kitty

You are Welcome
I understand. Honestly, the only men that have ever rescued me are my father and brother. While I have a loving husband, I spend a lot of time saving him. He is not able to deal with or talk about my cancer or my fears. I find that in terms of support in the C arena that I depend on and draw strength from some of my girlfriends (stress on the SOME) and this discussion board. These women are my Prince Charmings and the ones who save me on a daily basis. Perhaps Cinderella and her step sisters should have helped each other more and put more emphasis on their relationship than on that "Prince"!

I hope you have a wonderful day. Know that we love you, understand what you're going through, and sending you postive energy to pull through this. Do what you have to do to make yourself feel good. Spend time with ipeople that make you feel good. You are worth it.

Love and Hugs,
Kim

Joycelouise

kbc4869 said:

You are Welcome
I understand. Honestly, the only men that have ever rescued me are my father and brother. While I have a loving husband, I spend a lot of time saving him. He is not able to deal with or talk about my cancer or my fears. I find that in terms of support in the C arena that I depend on and draw strength from some of my girlfriends (stress on the SOME) and this discussion board. These women are my Prince Charmings and the ones who save me on a daily basis. Perhaps Cinderella and her step sisters should have helped each other more and put more emphasis on their relationship than on that "Prince"!

I hope you have a wonderful day. Know that we love you, understand what you're going through, and sending you postive energy to pull through this. Do what you have to do to make yourself feel good. Spend time with ipeople that make you feel good. You are worth it.

Love and Hugs,
Kim

I love your takes on the
I love your takes on the cinderella story! I never really thought about the bad vibes for sisters that the ugly stepsister characters engenders. And I also agree, it is my sisters of every description that have been my prince charmings. By the way, I have tweaked this story when I told it to my daughters. I knew they, like me, would have big feet when they grew up and I hoped to spare them the "shame" I felt about my feet. So when I told that story to them when they were young...prince charming tries the glass slipper on the stepsisters' (now I can't even bring myself to call them ugly)feet but oh, no! Their feet are too small to fill the slipper. Then Cinderella tries with her ample, strong feet - perfect fit and the prince has his bride. And my twins grew up with size 12 feet so it was a good thing to lay some carefull groundwork. I guess we are proof that our stories may not have followed the storyline we expected but can still have happy endings! love to all of you, Joyce

kbc4869

Joycelouise said:

I love your takes on the
I love your takes on the cinderella story! I never really thought about the bad vibes for sisters that the ugly stepsister characters engenders. And I also agree, it is my sisters of every description that have been my prince charmings. By the way, I have tweaked this story when I told it to my daughters. I knew they, like me, would have big feet when they grew up and I hoped to spare them the "shame" I felt about my feet. So when I told that story to them when they were young...prince charming tries the glass slipper on the stepsisters' (now I can't even bring myself to call them ugly)feet but oh, no! Their feet are too small to fill the slipper. Then Cinderella tries with her ample, strong feet - perfect fit and the prince has his bride. And my twins grew up with size 12 feet so it was a good thing to lay some carefull groundwork. I guess we are proof that our stories may not have followed the storyline we expected but can still have happy endings! love to all of you, Joyce

Yes!
Hey Joyce, the reason I think this was on my mind is because with having a two-year old, we're now reading all these stories and watching movies together. And I'm amazed at all the negative connotations that women have in these stories (separately and towards each other) . . . the older women always being jealous of the young pretty princesses and wanting to do them harm; the princes and princesses always being beautiful and good; ugly people are bad; other women are the enemy; and the most important thing in the story is the woman being rescued and getting the man. I think these stories need to be rewritten. One positive thing though is Katey really likes the Shrek movies where the main characters are not beautiful. In the third movie, the fairy tale princesses actually do come together and do the rescuing. And many times it is Fiona saving Shrek and fighting for herself. While there will always be a place in little girls' hearts to dream and believe in magic and their "Prince," certainly there must be room to also present the incredible power of sisterhood and instill the importance of being a whole person -- it's not just about the Princes, but friends and family, and saving yourself, etc. Oh, and Katey also likes Miss Piggy because she's so spunky. I'm guessing that the new fairytales and TV shows for kids must address this. Maybe our daughters will be more enlightened than we were. I hope so. I'm just started to figure this stuff out in my mid/late 30's.

Love,
Kim

Joycelouise

kbc4869 said:

Yes!
Hey Joyce, the reason I think this was on my mind is because with having a two-year old, we're now reading all these stories and watching movies together. And I'm amazed at all the negative connotations that women have in these stories (separately and towards each other) . . . the older women always being jealous of the young pretty princesses and wanting to do them harm; the princes and princesses always being beautiful and good; ugly people are bad; other women are the enemy; and the most important thing in the story is the woman being rescued and getting the man. I think these stories need to be rewritten. One positive thing though is Katey really likes the Shrek movies where the main characters are not beautiful. In the third movie, the fairy tale princesses actually do come together and do the rescuing. And many times it is Fiona saving Shrek and fighting for herself. While there will always be a place in little girls' hearts to dream and believe in magic and their "Prince," certainly there must be room to also present the incredible power of sisterhood and instill the importance of being a whole person -- it's not just about the Princes, but friends and family, and saving yourself, etc. Oh, and Katey also likes Miss Piggy because she's so spunky. I'm guessing that the new fairytales and TV shows for kids must address this. Maybe our daughters will be more enlightened than we were. I hope so. I'm just started to figure this stuff out in my mid/late 30's.

Love,
Kim

You have a lucky daughter. I
You have a lucky daughter. I agree with your post a million times. Wow, all those negative stereotypes that we swallowed with the pretty dresses! I had a super hero character I invented and played for my daughters. Her name was Capable Woman. It was easy to tell when I was channelling her because I walked with my arms held away from the sides of my body (because my huge, capable muscles demanded it). When things went wrong in our single mom household (plugged toilet, half dead rat dragged in by the cat, etc.) I would say in a broadcaster voice "THIS looks like a job for Capable Woman!" Capable Woman always came to the rescue...and she was me.
Go get 'em Katey! love, Joyce