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BonnieR

Hi Everyone, I am home, we came home yesterday and Toby will be home today. We had some hard news on Thursday, the cancer has grown. I see my gyn/onc on Sept 11th and have labs the next couple weeks at Fairview Northland in Princeton, only 25 miles from me. Hopefully my body will start producing new blood cells and I won't need a transfusion. On thurs my hemoglobin was 8.3 and then they drew 12 viles of blood so yesterday I was really dragging.

Of course we both shed tears and I still get a bit teary eyed at times. Randy reminded me that my Doc had said back in June that he has more in the barrel for me, but I reminded Randy I don't want to be so sick anymore. I guess we'll just see what God has in store for me. :-)

Thanks so much for all your support, cards, and most of all prayers. What an amazing group of women you are ~ true examples of what being a warrior and walking in faith is all about. I am so grateful to have you each in my life as we walk together and work together in the fight against ovarian cancer. Remember September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month!!

Prayers N Hugs Bonnie

““To be a warrior is not a simple matter of wishing to be one. It is rather an endless struggle that will go on to the very last moment of our lives. Nobody is born a warrior, in exactly the same way that nobody is born an average person. We make ourselves into one or the other.””

saundra

Crying with you
I am sad to hear your news of the treatment results. I know you must be disapponted because I am too! Just another bump in the road and good that you have a doctor that has more tricks in the barrel. God never promised me that the walk would be easy, just that He is always with me as I tread along. I also trust that he will be with us to guide in the hard decisions and there is a reason for everything.
Please know that my family continues in their prayers for you and we think of you often. (((Hugs and Prayers))) Saundra

mopar

HOME
I'm so glad you're home, Bonnie, as I'm sure you are. Certainly we all had hoped for better results. But I'm glad the doctor has something else up his sleeve for you - we'll pray for good wisdom and guidance for 9-11.

I can understand why you might be hesitant to go through anything else. You have been such a warrior, an inspiration for all of us. But I'm sure you will know what is right for you, and what you can endure.

Till later, always sending luv and hugs, and praying for His grace and knowledge and peace in all things.

Have a wonderful Labor Day holiday!

(((HUGS)))
Monika

kris43

I am so glad you are home
I am so glad you are home also, but the tears are running down my face as I read your post. Every few days I try to catch up on everyone - I look to see if there is any news on Jenna Rose or look to see if anyone has heard from you - because you've been such an inspiration. Trying new things, always so positive on your outlook, so many words of encouragement to those women who are new to the site. My heart goes out to you Bonnie - and as MOPAR said only you know when it's time to say enough is enough. Or maybe you just need a break and sit back and decide what to do next. New things happen every day in the world of ovarian cancer don't they? I will pray for you and your family and look forward to hearing what is next in your journey. Hugs. Kris

carol2dogs

Glad you're home
Bonnie,
I am glad you're home, Bonnie - nothing beats being home. Like the others, I am so very sorry and disappointed that you didn't have better results. We were all hoping and praying so very hard for you - and your fight has many chapters left yet! I think we all are shedding some tears at your news, because you have been such an inspiration and symbol of courage. You chose a very difficult road and you certainly deserved better results. God has something special in store for you - we just don't know what yet.
I will continue to pray for you. Please get some rest.
Love, Carol

BonnieR

carol2dogs said:

Glad you're home
Bonnie,
I am glad you're home, Bonnie - nothing beats being home. Like the others, I am so very sorry and disappointed that you didn't have better results. We were all hoping and praying so very hard for you - and your fight has many chapters left yet! I think we all are shedding some tears at your news, because you have been such an inspiration and symbol of courage. You chose a very difficult road and you certainly deserved better results. God has something special in store for you - we just don't know what yet.
I will continue to pray for you. Please get some rest.
Love, Carol

thank you all so much
God's morning to all! Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. I'll say it again "what a wonderful group of women you all are"!

Hugs N Prayers Bonnie

paula2

BonnieR said:

thank you all so much
God's morning to all! Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. I'll say it again "what a wonderful group of women you all are"!

Hugs N Prayers Bonnie

BonnieRose
I'm very close to stopping chemo, as each one fails or works very temporarily with more and more side effects. Friends are encouraging me to use the alternative clinics and meds. Do you have any experience with this? My numbers are racing forward, doubling every week to 212 at the last testing. I don't have enough experience to know if this is end stage or if I should keep trying more treatments. I am so bloated that eating is difficult, as is bowel function. Are you going to go for more and if so, will you share what that is?

I really feel like most of this is out of my hands but to some extent, I can suggest and determine whether or not to continue therapy. Just not ready to die yet. I hope for more time and it seems to be going fast.

Are you aware of how long you have? I'm not, or I'm in denial. Well, any thoughts you can share with me will be appreciated. I know it's in God's hands and that it will be okay. God bless you and give you all the time you need. I pray that you are comfortable.
Paula2

floridajo

paula2 said:

BonnieRose
I'm very close to stopping chemo, as each one fails or works very temporarily with more and more side effects. Friends are encouraging me to use the alternative clinics and meds. Do you have any experience with this? My numbers are racing forward, doubling every week to 212 at the last testing. I don't have enough experience to know if this is end stage or if I should keep trying more treatments. I am so bloated that eating is difficult, as is bowel function. Are you going to go for more and if so, will you share what that is?

I really feel like most of this is out of my hands but to some extent, I can suggest and determine whether or not to continue therapy. Just not ready to die yet. I hope for more time and it seems to be going fast.

Are you aware of how long you have? I'm not, or I'm in denial. Well, any thoughts you can share with me will be appreciated. I know it's in God's hands and that it will be okay. God bless you and give you all the time you need. I pray that you are comfortable.
Paula2

Paula
I'm so sorry to hear this latest news. I have been absent alot on the board lately and feel terrible to hear all this horrible news. I pray for an easier road for you and God's grace in what ever it is you chose to do. (((hugz)))~~~Joanne

floridajo

BonnieRose
I hate to hear this news and am crying along with you. I pray for your Onc and the cure soon for us all((((Hugz)))~~~Joanne

green50

saundra said:

Crying with you
I am sad to hear your news of the treatment results. I know you must be disapponted because I am too! Just another bump in the road and good that you have a doctor that has more tricks in the barrel. God never promised me that the walk would be easy, just that He is always with me as I tread along. I also trust that he will be with us to guide in the hard decisions and there is a reason for everything.
Please know that my family continues in their prayers for you and we think of you often. (((Hugs and Prayers))) Saundra

A bump in the road
Bonnie sorry too about your news. Saundra my husband said the same thing another bump in the road. My cancer was found in 2002 and his 2004(lung cancer) and he said those words another bump in the road. As its said its not the destination but the journey. I will have chemo for a while until count is low. But mine does shrink and cell count down then I take my break then back again. I hope all goes well. My doctors have kept me up beat as well. We all pass on from something and for some us we suffer some but show others our strength and how thankful they should be. I count my blessings and keep on truckin' and I will pray for all of you as I have been
Sandy Green

lizper

So sorry Bonnie, Trying to get updated
Bonnie I´m very sorry to hear this.. you`ve been such an example of faith, strengh, acceptance to all. Seeing my Mom each day battle this and knowing that there are women like you who surpass the expected outcome gives me such hope. God be with you... rest at you Home sweet Home and think about the Dr.`s options... God helps us by putting "things, people, etc in our way". A big conforting hug for you. Liz

groundeffect

Welcome Home
Hi Bonnie,

There is no place like home! I'm so glad you're back in the arms of your family, even though you've had some bad news. There's nothing like being home to comfort me, and I hope it does the same for you.

The human body is an amazing thing. I'm glad to hear that your doc has more in his arsenal for you. I hope your son is recouping from his assist well.

You're always in my thoughts and prayers when I'm reflecting on my friends with OVCA.

Sue

SMILES1001

groundeffect said:

Welcome Home
Hi Bonnie,

There is no place like home! I'm so glad you're back in the arms of your family, even though you've had some bad news. There's nothing like being home to comfort me, and I hope it does the same for you.

The human body is an amazing thing. I'm glad to hear that your doc has more in his arsenal for you. I hope your son is recouping from his assist well.

You're always in my thoughts and prayers when I'm reflecting on my friends with OVCA.

Sue

°\(ッ)/°
So sorry to hear this news and I read a part when u said your tired of being sick my sister says that everyday... don't give up Bonnie u come to far not to go the distance!

tdb1985

warrior
BonnieR,
I have admired you over the few years I've been in and out of this place. As I am in chemo now(again) I think it is you that I always come back to. This is one of the most positive, inspiring places to go, for me. I live in a rural area, no big cities around and oc is not something you can share with many here (thank goodness). You are in my prayers. I believe it is all in his hands, and either way I go, I win!
You sound like such a warrior, and I do so admire you!
Sincerely and God bless you all,

Debbie

ladyjogger31

Good To Be Home
Hi Bonnie,
I have been on the board since March. I've admired your strength and will power. I'm so sorry to hear the sad news. You are truly a warrior!! This is just another bump in the road. I hope all goes well on 9/11. You are in my prayers. ((Hugs))
Terry