going thru mastectomy again/need support

ohilly

I had invasive intraductal cancer on my left breast and had a mastectomy in January (I chose to have a mastectomy even though the tumor was very small and had not spread to my lymph nodes). After I went thru the surgery, I found out I am BRCA 1 and am choosing to have a preventive mastectomy with immediate reconstruction (lat flap) on the other breast. I am no longer afraid of losing my breast since I've been thru it before (the surgery is scheduled for Sept. 18), but have all kinds of anxieties about other things. Mainly, I am afraid of the pain (last time it took me a month to feel okay and not in pain) and also I have a crazy fear of having to go home with a catheter: that's what happened last time. I could not pee for a few days because of the surgery. Eventually they took the catheter out and I could urinate, but the entire experience of going home with a catheter terrified me. I felt my body was out of control and I was afraid the catheter would fall out at home and my husband would have to take me to the ER. I realize these are crazy fears. This time I have tried to be proactive; I went to a urologist who prescribed some medication for me to take pre-operatively which is supposed to relax my muscles and allow me to pee after the operation. Has anyone had to have two mastectomies at two different times, or a preventive mastectomy? Was the second time as bad as the first time? As Sept. 18 approaches, I feel I have a date with doom. Anything positive anyone can say will help. I try and tell myself that no matter what happens, at least I'll never have to go thru another mastectomy again and that by having the preventive mastectomy, I'm going to reduce my risk by 90% on my remaining (non-cancerous) breast.

Thanks! Ohilly

Joycelouise

As some one who can be a
As some one who can be a little anxious myself, I have found that relaxation guided imagery can be helpful. Belleruth Naparstek has a CD for everything that ails you, including one on anticipating surgery. Maybe you would find some of her stuff helpful. If you go to her web site (google her name), she usually has a "taste" of one of her CD's to listen to, just to see what they are like. And if you have Kaiser, they have several of the full length CD's on their website, for free. The surgery one may be on there. Think positive thoughts, Ohilly! And we will give you all the support we can. Sending good thoughts your way, love, Joyce

Eil4186

You can do this
Hi Ohilly, You have been through so much already, I am sorry that you must endure another surgery. But, remember that you are very strong---you got through it the first time and you can do it again. It sounds like you have found a solution for the urination problem with meds. That is good, so try not to wory about that because the meds will work and you won't need a catheter. And you are right, once the surgery is over you will not only be healthy, but will STAY that way! I will be thinking of you in the next few weeks and praying for God to give you strength and peace. Blessings, Eileen

survivor51

Fear
Fear with always be there but it should be much better this time around. You will have the drains and you are proactive with the urologist. You already know to stay ahead of the pain with the pain pills, drink lots of water, have many pillows to prop up and be kind to yourself by taking it easy.

chenheart

Picture Yourself Peeing! :-)
Healing Thoughts Be With You! I am so glad that you continue to post here, and that we can walk with you though everything~ this is not a trip we should do alone, is it?

Good for you for being pro-active! It will certainly be a help to you to be prepared~ and that there are meds to help you pee post surgery! Whoo-Hoo!

I think JoyceLouise has a great idea with the CD's. I recall that she posted about how helpful they were to her...I am thinking of checking into them myself! We can never have too much positive influence, can we?

We love you Ohilly!

Hugs,
Claudia

ohilly

chenheart said:

Picture Yourself Peeing! :-)
Healing Thoughts Be With You! I am so glad that you continue to post here, and that we can walk with you though everything~ this is not a trip we should do alone, is it?

Good for you for being pro-active! It will certainly be a help to you to be prepared~ and that there are meds to help you pee post surgery! Whoo-Hoo!

I think JoyceLouise has a great idea with the CD's. I recall that she posted about how helpful they were to her...I am thinking of checking into them myself! We can never have too much positive influence, can we?

We love you Ohilly!

Hugs,
Claudia

thanks
To everyone who responded to my post with such wonderful encouragement, thanks! (I'll take all the support I can get). Ohilly

NorcalJ

ohilly said:

thanks
To everyone who responded to my post with such wonderful encouragement, thanks! (I'll take all the support I can get). Ohilly

2nd Surgery
It sounds like you're really getting prepared this time. But this time will be different because you'll not only be coming home with the start of reconstruction, but I understand the procedure gives you a tummy tuck too!

As far as the catheter falling out---it can't. There's a balloon inflated with saline or sterile water just inside your bladder, and it requires them to deflate the balloon before taking it out. You can probably practice Kegal exercises now. Just tighten the muscle you use to stop and start when you urinate. Do it about 10 times in a row a few times a day. No one will ever know---you can do it at the computer, in the car, or even standing in line at the store---and no one can tell!

Good for you for decreasing your chance of recurrance by 90%! Good reason to do this, all by itself, not to mention the new "Victoria Secret" figure. LOL

Jan

mmontero38

You'll do fine
Dear OHilly: I am hoping that this time around it is a little easier for you. You've been through it before so I don't think it can be any worse but hoping it is much better. Will be saying prayers that everything goes well for you. Think positive thoughts and remember that when you are in the OR look up and you will see our spirits floating around you whispering words of encouragement. You are not alone O'Hilly, we will be there with you. You haven't said what kind of reconstruction you are getting. Post and let me know. Hugs to you, Lili

sylva

This is a long journey, with
This is a long journey, with all the colors of the rainbow!! But you know already that each thing we have to go through, make us stronger and wiser.
You need to start thinking positive, talk positive, imagine in your mind that the surgery and all involve is going to be positive. Words have power!!!!
This time you are prepared better than the first time. You are taking action!!
I will be praying for you!
Hugs!!! (I learned this week that we need a minimum of THREE HUGS PER DAY, I've already sent you one "virtual" hug)

ohilly

sylva said:

This is a long journey, with
This is a long journey, with all the colors of the rainbow!! But you know already that each thing we have to go through, make us stronger and wiser.
You need to start thinking positive, talk positive, imagine in your mind that the surgery and all involve is going to be positive. Words have power!!!!
This time you are prepared better than the first time. You are taking action!!
I will be praying for you!
Hugs!!! (I learned this week that we need a minimum of THREE HUGS PER DAY, I've already sent you one "virtual" hug)

this board is wonderful
What would I do without this network?! It means so much to me that you are all supporting me. The more I think about it, no matter what happens, the surgery can't be as bad as the first time because I don't have cancer in the breast that's being removed (although they will check for cancer at the time of the surgery by examining the tissue and doing a sentinel node biopsy), it's a PREVENTIVE surgery. Regarding my reconstruction: I'm not getting the kind with the 'tummy tuck,' which is the Tram Flap. I'm getting a lattisimus dorsi ('lat flap') reconstruction which is done in one step. I had it last time and was quite satisfied with the procedure and the results. I'll post again right before the surgery to remind you all to send good thoughts my way!

Ohilly