chemo and quality of life

crazylady

Hi Everyone,
I learned today that cancer has returned to my left lung. I have been on maintenance chemo,avastin, for the last 3 months. I will be going back on chemo. Unfortunately when I am on chemo I don't have a good quality of life. I am ready to go back to school to complete my master's degree and have been lnterviewing for a good fieldwork placement. There is a lot involved, classes, fieldwork, supervision, all taking a lot of time. I am concerned about being able to accomplish this while on chemo since I don't tend to feel well enough to function normally.

How do you function in everyday life, working etc. while on chemo? How are you able to achieve a good quality of life?

Thanks in advance for any suggestions.

Jamie

Limey

Hi Jamie, such a difficult question you ask. I think it is so difficult because the answer is so easy we can not figure it out. makes sense so far??
I continued working and going to school ( I was 43 and the first one in my family to go to college. I was damn determined to get my degree)at first and I was able to handle it just fine. My focus was quite different I must say as I didn't screw around as much but just got down to business.
After awhile something had to give so I put school on hold and continued to work. later in 2007, I also was let go from my job due to being out so much. For me, my quality of life inproved to a large degree as I was finally able to balance my cancer journey and my family life.
The answer was quite easy and right in front of me but it was such a difficult task getting there.
and this was my journey. yours may be quite different. I guess i started asking myself if today was what I have and I am not sure about tomorrow, what is important. and... go with that.
best of luck in your decision.
Mark.

msccolon

Jamie, good luck with your decision; it's not an easy one. I have always worked through my chemo, but my boss is a very understanding man and I work from home. What I have learned, however, is that life is a balance. There's absolutely no reason to bother with chemo if it renders you unable to live the life that you find fulfilling. As Mark found, his definition of life changed when his job let him go, but he found that family is what was important. So far, I have found that having this computer to come to and produce work on, even if only a few hours in 3 days, gives me pleasure and something to look forward to after the chemo is over. However, my family and friends are most important and I am sure that if i had to leave my job because of the fight, my family would be enough. I know that God is with me as I travel this road and I know that He will bring me through whatever crosses my path. You could always start your journey towards your masters with the belief that you will be able to complete it, knowing that it might have to be put aside for just a short while. Is there anybody in this process you can speak to regarding possible flexibility? You'd be surprised how understanding people can be when asked. Again, good luck and God be with you as you head back into the chemo pool.
Mary

usakat

Hi Jamie,

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I suppose this time around we can be chemosabies.

Anyway, like Mark said, this is a difficult question, but perhaps the answer is not as hard as one would think. Mark was lucky that the universe delivered the right answer to him through his circumstances (losing his job), so he could enjoy his family life more and use his energy toward healing. I pray for Mark everyday.

I could try to answer your question, but only you can know the right answer. It's YOUR life. I walk in my shoes and only you can walk in yours. I will pray for you everyday too - I will pray that the right answers come to you like they did for Mark.

Much love...Katie

sladich

I do hope that you find the answers you need. I found if I kept busy it helped. Best of luck with your treatments.

Debbie

jams67

Mark says it all. School will still be there after chemo. If you are feeling well enough then, get your masters, if not, then maybe it's better to enjoy the important things in life and not worry about having a piece of paper that says your smart. I had to pull back from a lot of things and just concentrate on staying alive.
Let us know what you decide.
Jo Ann

betina61

Jamie for me was not that bad,besides the fatigue,but I had a lot of support from my boss,I think that you could try to continue school until you feel is to much for you, but for me staying alive for my family would be more important than a diploma, I pray to God to guide you in this desicion.

Madre

I totally understand where you are coming from. I work full time and I also carry the health benefits. I am on disability from my job since april and I was hoping to go back to work in August. I feel so guilty not being there. My boss is a great guy and tells me I have a job to come back to. August is here and every chemo is different and it whipes me. I don't have sick time so If I go back too soon I only get paid the days/hours I am there, so I have decided to stay out until the chemo is done, that means FMLA after disabilty but I just want ot go back to work and focus on that and not chemo schedules andscan schedules. This last time almost got put off for low counts and that would have messed up the plans I made with family and friends for the next month. Try what you can but have a plan B is life changes course. I was just so afaid of getting run down and not being able to do chemo or work and having this drag out longer than it has too. Maybe you can do your masters online so you could stay in your jammies and work on the computer instead of having to get dressed, drive to class, sit in class & focus, then drive home and do assisgnments. Good luck to you what ever you choose.

2bhealed

Hi Jamie,

Whereas I did not do any chemo, I surely struggled with quality of life questions during my healing time. We all do what ever the path we choose.

For me personally, healing and curing cancer was a full time job in itself. It took most of my energy--emotional and physical. My family (5 kids, hubby and various critters)had to come 2nd for awhile while I healed. But between me and my family there was little energy for others. Toxic relationships had to go.

What does not serve us needs to be released.

What serves you in pursuing a life without cancer?

What can we live without?

Thankfully, I had a hubby who supported us and we were not dependent on income from me. (though we did end up having to sell our hobby farm).

Life, for me became very narrow and any extraneous had to go.

But I have no regrets and have lived cancer free for 7 years post dx.

Hope you can find your balance to facilitate your healing.

peace, emily

pamness

How do you feel when you are on chemo? My quality of life on chemo was awful - I was functioning at about 30 percent. I actually couldn't finish the oxaliplatin (my doctor's decision, not mine). I think you have to figure out what you can and can't do - given your previous experience. School will still be there, the most important person or variable during this time is you.

Pam

crazylady

pamness said:

How do you feel when you are on chemo? My quality of life on chemo was awful - I was functioning at about 30 percent. I actually couldn't finish the oxaliplatin (my doctor's decision, not mine). I think you have to figure out what you can and can't do - given your previous experience. School will still be there, the most important person or variable during this time is you.

Pam

Pam,
When I'm on chemo I feel extemely week and have a general sense of just not feeling well. I also have trouble regulating my body temperature so I perspire continuously and am always hot. I have all the usual aches and pains that people complain about including neuropathy which I believe is permanent. I also feel like my brain is in a fog. I just don't function well.

I'm sorry that you had such a hard time with chemo. It sucks!

Jamie

CherylHutch

Hey Jamie... like the others have said, it really is a personal decision and I believe it is one that you have to decide based on your own circumstances.

For me, I did pretty well on the chemo, although I did have some of the complaints that everyone else has mentioned (neuropathy, nerve damage in my feet and shins, sensitivity to cold, headaches, general feeling of blah, fatigue and the dreaded Chemo Brain).

I marveled and wondered how the heck anyone could hold down a full time job while going through chemo, let alone work and go to school... and heaven help the poor folk who have families/children to look after.

Now, from the above, it sounds like I was sick all the time, which was not true... but over the 8 months of treatment, I did manage to get all of the above at some point or another. Generally speaking, I think I could function quite well on a day to day basis... but there is no way I could ever have committed to working 5 days/week and been productive on the job.

I am now no longer on chemo, but I also can not see myself functioning in a job, 5 days/week, 7-8 hours/day. I volunteer with a theatre group and it's great to have the mind active again. But, I have to have flexible hours because mornings can be rough on me with the neuropathy. I do much better in the afternoons or evenings. But to have to commit to 7-8 hours/day on a regular basis... well, let's just say it's not going to happen right away for me

At first, I felt extremely guilty and kept telling the people at work... I'll come back as soon as I can. On the days that I felt fabulous (yes, there are lots of those days), that's when I'd feel the most guilt because I felt I really should be back at work. I am SO LUCKY that one of the benefits I have at work is Long Term Disability Insurance... which also means that I keep my 100% medical insurance, and 100% dental insurance... plus I get 70% of the wages for my work classification.

I have FINALLY been able to get rid of the guilt of not working, even when I'm feeling great. My job for now and into the forseeable future is to fight for my life... and that includes living a life that is stress-free and not over-committing myself.

You have to do what you feel is right for you... and don't let anyone guilt you into doing something that is not your own decision. I wish you success in whatever you decide to do... and if that means sitting back and not doing anything right now, then so be it. It's all good

Cheryl

mk1117

Life during Chemo
I faced a similar situation. I had just decided to change careers and become a teacher (at age 44) when I received my S3 colon cancer diagnosis. At the advice of my oncologist, I stopped teaching while I completed my treatments. His concern was for the lower immunity issues I would deal with in an environment with lots of germs! I don't think I could have worked during the treatments anyway. I was able to complete my master's degree while I was on chemo, though. I finished my final chemo treatment one week, and received my master's degree the following week. It is one of my proudest accomplishments. I went back into teaching, but found that I just didn't have the stamina or energy to keep up with 140+ high school students daily. I now work part-time for a university. I wish I had been able to keep up the faster pace, but it just didn't work out for me. Everyone has to determine what is best for him/her, though - no one is the same.

Wishing you the best.

rmap59

chemo and life choices
Hey,
Chemo is a hard thing to juggle with life goals, jobs, family, etc. I am with the rest of the family in that you have to decide what is most important and take a you cant do it all kind of mentality. If your master's is what you decide is important to you how about taking online classes so you can conserve your energy but still be making progress toward your goal. During my chemo days I had to do a little at a time and leave the rest for later. Good Luck and things will work out. Praying for all.
Robin