now mom has lung cancer

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impactzone
impactzone Member Posts: 551 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
She is 81, life-long big time smoker and no suprise to anyone. After the 2 years I have put in fighting my colon cancer (stage 4, colon, liver and lung surgery, 10 months chemo...currently NED), I am really having trouble reentering the "fight zone". With 2 kids, job, wife...I feel guilty not doing more but I just feel worn out and reentering everything again just puts me in a bad place. I don't know if that makes sense and I would like to gear up and help but just am tired... Suggestions?

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  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #2
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    Is she in the hospital currently? I was thinking maybe you could do your visiting and supporting more when she's at home, so you wouldn't have to revisit that whole medical world nightmare.
    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #3
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  • betina61
    betina61 Member Posts: 642 Member
    #4
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    I understand you, "reentering" that zone is scary but in the other hand, you can not escape reality,I know that your hands are full,and probably you will need to ask for help from other relatives,if that is a posibility for you, but she is your mother and I'm sure that God will give you the strengh to do what you have to do. I'll pray for that.
  • hopefulone
    hopefulone Member Posts: 1,043 Member
    #5
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    It makes perfect sense. Do what you are able to do and don't feel guilty . I know it's easier said than done though. Get others to help wherever you can, be it family, friends or maybe her doctor or hospital staff have some suggestions. Don't try to carry it all on your shoulders.
    God Bless,
    Diane
  • pamness
    pamness Member Posts: 524 Member
    #6
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    Number One: Don't feel guilty, Number Two: Get all the help you can. Number Three: There is only so much you can do. Getting diagnosed with lung cancer at 81 (after being a smoker) is a lot different than being diagnosed with colon cancer or something else, out of the blue and a reasonably young age. The fight you have faced and are currently winning is probably more important (I hesitate saying this, than your Mom's). Do what you can, get help and make sure you keep yourself on track. It's not being selfish it is necessary. I buried both my parents. As the oldest child, the responsibility for health, illness etc. fell to me.

    Take care of yourself and do what you can do.

    Pam
  • Madre
    Madre Member Posts: 123
    #7
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    Try getting a schedule, so as not to be available at the drop of a hat anytime, look at your family and your job. What days are you available to give of yourself? The American Cancer Society has good resources I am finding out. They can arrange for transportation to appointments - free. Some insurance pay for home health aides, meals on wheels. That way there are people checking in, giving support and you can still have some sanity that you are doing something. Good luck and prayers your way.
  • usakat
    usakat Member Posts: 610 Member
    #8
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    Hello IZ ~ Sorry it took so long for me to respond to your post...had a tough week...

    Anyway, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I know what that is like, between watching my mom go through cancer three times since 2001, and then me right after...and now again. It sucks. I write about this on my new blog at
    http://katiescancer.blogspot.com/

    As for feeling guilty? Brother, please don't go there...serves no purpose for you or your mom. As you get your head and your heart wrapped around the brutal news of your mom's diagnosis, the right answers will come to you.

    If you want to chat further, drop me a note....

    Peace!
    Katie

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