is knowlage power update

hansie Member Posts: 37
edited March 2014 in Lung Cancer #1
first of all thanks to all who answered my previous post i too thought it implorable that i would be told of my wifes condition and not her.So i finaly got a hold of her dr. after four days of phone calls and he assured me that he spent 2hrs with heer and that everything was explained to her.OK fine.shes in denial,or whatever,lemme see what happens.Now my wife has ben doing very well ,after the low blood count she was given meds for shes just doing great emotionaly and physicaly(as far as a auto mechanic can tell)so i started up a conversation with her to open up a discussion as to how she wants me to handle things,and lo and behold that frigged dr never told her i did in passing conversation.NICE. Spent a week acting on what you all told me was right and still ended up doing his job.Now shes ok(girl's realy got a great outlook)and im just upset...she still wants to stay with him...i dont feel i can trust this man.Any comments?


  • cabbott
    cabbott Member Posts: 1,039 Member
    I just read your post and probably ought to go run around the block a couple of times to cool down because I feel like blasting the doctor you have to smithereens. It probably wouldn't help but that's how I feel. My grandparents stuck with a doctor that came to the hospital stinking of alcohol when my grandmom was rushed to intensive care with an extremely low heart beat (like 9 beats a minute) as well as Parkinson's. No, they wouldn't switch no matter how my parents pleaded. Fortunately, when she went in a rest home near my Uncle's home a few weeks later, she had to take a new doctor. He was a specialist in geriatric patients and adjusted her meds completely. For the first time in ten years, her newly adjusted meds made it possible for her to play the piano and talk more clearly. Your wife's doctor may not be as low as the one my grandmom had, but he obviously can't communicate or can't tell the truth. I'm not sure which is worse, but I hope YOU won't go to him when you get sick! As for your wife, she doesn't sound like she wants to switch. You could call the insurance company and see if they will pay for a second opinion and who they recommend for an oncologist. If it looks possible, you could ask your wife to meet with the guy, not to switch, but just to get a second opinion for YOUR peace of mind that you have done all you could for her. Good luck! I'm going for that trip around the block now!
  • soccerfreaks
    soccerfreaks Member Posts: 2,788 Member
    I think you and Cabbott speak clearly enough about the doctor's 'techiques', so I will leave that. It does no good, really, to focus on him, anyway.

    My response is that this is the guy your wife trusts. Clearly, to my mind, trust in one's doctor is paramount to achieving any success, to working through this with a minimum of doubt and stress on your wife's part.

    I strongly urge people to find doctors that they trust, and your wife has done so. However, as Cabbott suggests, and as I suggested in a previous post, maybe you can use a bit of subterfuge to get her to see another doctor -- for your own peace of mind, perhaps, without casting aspersions on this guy.

    The positive, so far, is that the cat IS out of the bag, and that your wife, according to your own reckoning, is handling things very well. At the very least, you can move forward and plan for the future together, in an open and honest fashion.

    Take care, and best wishes,

  • hansie
    hansie Member Posts: 37
    thank you both.I am dumbfounded at his handling of things and what realy gets me is he is a very well liked oncologist in our area...i seem to be the only one with poor feedback.Joe im gonna take your advice and just move on from here...thanks again