Needs to relate

Kayla_Michelle

It has been nearly eight years, and I know that is a while compared to what I've read on here... but I don't know anyone who doesn't think about who they've lost when the day comes to make it another year since you haven't seen their face. Two months after my 11th birthday, I lost my mom to bronchial alveolar-carcinoma. I can't really talk to my friends about it; I don't want to make them uncomfortable. I try not to talk to my family about it; I'm not looking to upset anyone. It's seems that the older I get, the more I think about how it has been so long since I've got to see my mother. I was just looking for someone to relate to my story and share theirs.

Unknown

Hello Kayla.
I am so sorry about your mother. How terrible for you to loose her at such a young age.
I lost my mother almost 4 years ago and I still have times when that seems like all I can think about for awhile.
One thing that seems to help is to deliberately concentrate on good, happy, funny things my mom did or said or times we spent together.
You might also try writing in a special journal dedicated to all your thoughts and feelings and remembrances about your mother. Like you were talking to her. Tell her what you are doing now and how your life is going. Sometimes putting things down in a permanent way eases our minds and we can feel sure we won't 'forget' anything important so we can concentrate on other things.
Just an idea. God bless and come here any time you feel the need.

kellmare

As soon as I read your message, I ran to look for an old Reader's Digest- and I FOUND IT! May of 2008. there was an article caught my eye as I was so impressed with this 23 year old young man who lost his mother to brain cancer when he was 18. His name is David Fajenbaum - he was in college, but felt isolated and felt he was the only one with a sick parent- and didn't want to upset his friends He decided to help other kids cope with loss. He calls his support group "Ailing Mothers and Fathers"( based on his mother's initials.) The support network has 2,000 participants on 23 campuses - but I'd bet there is more about this on-line if someone is not a student. Here is the web address: studentsofamf.org

Please look it up - I will too after I sign off.

But I do want to tell you that I lost my mother when I was very young. My story is long and complicated, but what I will tell you is what I wish I had done - because now my aunts tell me they wish I had approached them earlier. Don't hold back - wait for a good time and approach a relative ( in my case - an aunt) and tell them how you are feeling. My aunt told me she was afraid to come to me and upset me! It's like the old saying - the elephant in the room that no one talks about.

For your peace of mind, reach out. It may be hard to get the words out at first - and if you tear up, so what - your mom was a special person - many tear up when talking about a mom they lost. Don't hold this in. I'd love to know if you have any success with the web address. Please write back. Take care. My thoughts and prayers are with you.