Wedding tears

Unknown
Unknown
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I have cried a lot of tears through this fight and I have noticed that my tears are changing. I cry now, not always because I am sad or afraid, but because I just feel so deeply these days. I call this crying (yes, I do so much crying that I need subcategories) wedding tears, tears of joy at the awareness of how beautiful and tender life is. Maybe those of us who are wondering when we can stop buying so much kleenex will feel better about our tears if we think of them that way and think how they may have changed from the early days. Now to find a way to look beautiful while tearing up! your red nosed friend, Joyce

Comments

  • mgm42
    mgm42 Member Posts: 491 Member
    #2
    I cry - at weddings, new babies, toddlers' laughter, wild flowers blooming along side the road, puppies bounding through the yard, friends walking up my drive way, a short note from a friend who remembers me - sooooooooo - my answer to your question is "yes" I think we feel more deeply about all things now -- even dare I say "politics." I think our surviving has taught us a magnificent lesson - what life is really all about, and how to appreciate and cherish it. Love, the Hampster
  • ninjamom
    ninjamom Member Posts: 142
    #3
    Drop a hat and I cry and this is before my diagnosis. After my diagnosis I tried to be strong for my family and held back the tears. I don't hold back anymore but I'm happy to say that for the most part now they are "wedding tears". You're right we do feel more deeply about things, we enjoy each day to the fullest.
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    #4
    Oh, how many tears we have all shed. I can say that now that my first year passed, I am crying more happy tears than OMG tears. I am more emotional in a happy sort of way. Like you said, I've learned to appreciate the little things in life. I now carry tissues in my bag at all times. Hugs, Lili
  • kbc4869
    kbc4869 Member Posts: 159
    #5
    I hear you. I was never emotional. I didn't even cry during all the movies that were supposed to make people cry. But these days? It's like I'm a guest on a Barbara Walter's Special.

    The worst is when it happens some where completely inappropriate -- like I'm feeling fragile and I'm walking in the produce section and the produce man winks at me and asks "Hi, can I help you with something?" And I get almost hysterical thinking how wonderful and kind people can be. Or, like say, I'm in an elevator and "Wind Beneath My Wings" --muzak-style-- starts playing. You might as well just carry me out of there.

    Lack of hormones have got to play into this, wouldn't you think? I hate to say it, but I just don't think I'm THIS sensitive!

    Kim
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #6
    Yes, the tears keep flowing. It seems my eyes start watering at the drop of a feather.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #7
    mmontero38 said:

    Oh, how many tears we have all shed. I can say that now that my first year passed, I am crying more happy tears than OMG tears. I am more emotional in a happy sort of way. Like you said, I've learned to appreciate the little things in life. I now carry tissues in my bag at all times. Hugs, Lili

    lili, I love your subcategory, "OMG tears." I think the Eskimos have dozens of words for snow, each meaning a something a little different, but all made because snow was the main thing around. I think we survivors need lots of vocab for tears.But we also need some new vocab for Yahoo and Happiness Dance, because we feel those so deeply too when celebrating with each other! love, Joyce
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #8
    kbc4869 said:

    I hear you. I was never emotional. I didn't even cry during all the movies that were supposed to make people cry. But these days? It's like I'm a guest on a Barbara Walter's Special.

    The worst is when it happens some where completely inappropriate -- like I'm feeling fragile and I'm walking in the produce section and the produce man winks at me and asks "Hi, can I help you with something?" And I get almost hysterical thinking how wonderful and kind people can be. Or, like say, I'm in an elevator and "Wind Beneath My Wings" --muzak-style-- starts playing. You might as well just carry me out of there.

    Lack of hormones have got to play into this, wouldn't you think? I hate to say it, but I just don't think I'm THIS sensitive!

    Kim

    lol, as always, Kim, at your way with words. YOu are the kind of friend that always (sniff) makes me feel so (sniff sniff) good about myself. Thanks and pass the kleenex. love, Joyce
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #9
    mgm42 said:

    I cry - at weddings, new babies, toddlers' laughter, wild flowers blooming along side the road, puppies bounding through the yard, friends walking up my drive way, a short note from a friend who remembers me - sooooooooo - my answer to your question is "yes" I think we feel more deeply about all things now -- even dare I say "politics." I think our surviving has taught us a magnificent lesson - what life is really all about, and how to appreciate and cherish it. Love, the Hampster

    And how to cherish great friends like you, Hampy! love, Joyce
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #10
    ninjamom said:

    Drop a hat and I cry and this is before my diagnosis. After my diagnosis I tried to be strong for my family and held back the tears. I don't hold back anymore but I'm happy to say that for the most part now they are "wedding tears". You're right we do feel more deeply about things, we enjoy each day to the fullest.

    I am glad you don't hold back anymore. My children have seen me cry before and after dx. Your children will learn that crying does not mean you are not strong, but that you are being strong. It is not easy to feel the feelings that bring on tears. I can't imagine how much of life I would have missed if everytime I felt like crying I started changing the subject in my head to avoid it.
    I hope you are doing well, Ninja. love, Joyce
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #11
    unknown said:

    Yes, the tears keep flowing. It seems my eyes start watering at the drop of a feather.

    Funny (?!) how we all have crying in common.
    Can you imagine if we all got together for coffee?
  • babs49242
    babs49242 Member Posts: 193
    #12
    unknown said:

    Funny (?!) how we all have crying in common.
    Can you imagine if we all got together for coffee?

    yep, we could fill containers of 'wedding tears' and maybe(sell) give them away?!?!?! I even cry reading a book.....oh my oh my
  • mgm42
    mgm42 Member Posts: 491 Member
    #13
    babs49242 said:

    yep, we could fill containers of 'wedding tears' and maybe(sell) give them away?!?!?! I even cry reading a book.....oh my oh my

    As I'm reading all of our responses, I'm struck by something. We all have lots of water stored up in our tear ducts. Maybe its because we drank 2 to 3 L before, during and after our treatments!!!!! Then every day thereafter!!!!!! Could be? this is nature's way of getting rid of all that water. LOL>
  • VermontPines
    VermontPines Member Posts: 12
    #14
    Thank you all for the wonderful posts - I thought I was going crazy all by myself here. I was raised Norwegian - we don't show a lot of emotions LOL. 2 1/2 years ago I had breast cancer - and faced it like a project manager. But recently I had a radical hysterectomy for cervical cancer, and I can't stop crying - (I was already post menopausal and also on Arimidex for the bc, so I don't think it's too hormonally based) Not 'why me' tears - that was never part of my thoughts (Laughing, I had a lot of churning thoughts, that just wasn't one of them). But crying at dog food commercials, at sad things, happy things, and when things get out of control (really small things, like a dropped bag of garbage lol). What Kim wrote about the produce man struck such a chord. Thank you all so much - I'm new here and thought I was handling things really well - but now I'm thinking that I really do need the support and laughter (and tears) found here.
    Stacey
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #15
    VermontPines said:

    Thank you all for the wonderful posts - I thought I was going crazy all by myself here. I was raised Norwegian - we don't show a lot of emotions LOL. 2 1/2 years ago I had breast cancer - and faced it like a project manager. But recently I had a radical hysterectomy for cervical cancer, and I can't stop crying - (I was already post menopausal and also on Arimidex for the bc, so I don't think it's too hormonally based) Not 'why me' tears - that was never part of my thoughts (Laughing, I had a lot of churning thoughts, that just wasn't one of them). But crying at dog food commercials, at sad things, happy things, and when things get out of control (really small things, like a dropped bag of garbage lol). What Kim wrote about the produce man struck such a chord. Thank you all so much - I'm new here and thought I was handling things really well - but now I'm thinking that I really do need the support and laughter (and tears) found here.
    Stacey

    Hi VP. Welcome aboard.
    You probably ARE handling things really well...that does not mean u don't need US! lol.
    Seriously, this is the best place in the world for just 'hanging out' with people who understand and who will allow you to handle your 'stuff' however you wish and love you for it.
    I hope you have a ton of personal support among your friends and family but there can never be too much love in our lives and you will find your cup full to overflowing here.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #16
    mgm42 said:

    As I'm reading all of our responses, I'm struck by something. We all have lots of water stored up in our tear ducts. Maybe its because we drank 2 to 3 L before, during and after our treatments!!!!! Then every day thereafter!!!!!! Could be? this is nature's way of getting rid of all that water. LOL>

    LOL BIG TIME...I will consider crying away any water weight gain I get on Tamoxofin too! I should sob down to a size 4 in no time. Joyce
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #17
    unknown said:

    Hi VP. Welcome aboard.
    You probably ARE handling things really well...that does not mean u don't need US! lol.
    Seriously, this is the best place in the world for just 'hanging out' with people who understand and who will allow you to handle your 'stuff' however you wish and love you for it.
    I hope you have a ton of personal support among your friends and family but there can never be too much love in our lives and you will find your cup full to overflowing here.

    Beautiful reply, Zahalene. Its funny how we can read replies that are not to us and enjoy them so much. It is like time traveling. Something someone says now, to someone else, heals something I felt then, a while ago. Each time I read one of your encouraging posts, and consider your long, triumphant trip, the newly DX'ed me, now months in the past, has a little more pain taken away. Thank you for all that you give me here. love, Joyce
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #18
    My tears surprise me, sometimes. I have never been afraid to cry~ though I haven't always liked not being in control of my emotions! No, I am not the one who would have embarrassed you in public, but I cried EVERY time I watched Babe's owner say "That'll Do, Pig"! If any of you are too young to know what I'm talking about~get the DVD!

    Lately the thing that made me cry was reading your post "Story" outloud to Reggie! I am oftentimes surprised how well I can handle things when it's just me~ but that when I am sharing an experience, I am emotional about it.

    A wise soul once told me never to be ashamed to cry; it is not only cleansing, but shows others how we feel. Tears are not always a bad thing! And I am happy to be alive to shed some now and again!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #19
    chenheart said:

    My tears surprise me, sometimes. I have never been afraid to cry~ though I haven't always liked not being in control of my emotions! No, I am not the one who would have embarrassed you in public, but I cried EVERY time I watched Babe's owner say "That'll Do, Pig"! If any of you are too young to know what I'm talking about~get the DVD!

    Lately the thing that made me cry was reading your post "Story" outloud to Reggie! I am oftentimes surprised how well I can handle things when it's just me~ but that when I am sharing an experience, I am emotional about it.

    A wise soul once told me never to be ashamed to cry; it is not only cleansing, but shows others how we feel. Tears are not always a bad thing! And I am happy to be alive to shed some now and again!

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    OMG, Claudia. So you do it too. My husband Sigi can identify with Reggie. I drag him in sometimes and read the posts to him. I say, "Look, look, how fabulous these friends of mine are!" And Sigi listens. And your husband, and for all I know other husbands out there listen too. What sweethearts. I am honored that you read my words to your husband and honored by your empathy.
    BTW, loved that movie too. I like the way you said EVERY time. I also have seen that movie way more than once.
    love, Joyce

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