a story
We all have stories. You should all know that I come to this site to read yours as much as I come for my own needs. So I want to share one today.
I teach at a lock up facility for teenage felon boys. I did not want the wards to know that I was battling cancer. Because I did not want to complicate their lives as our friendship is one of the building blocks of their education. Also, I did not feel like becoming a cancer role model. Maybe that is not good, but it is true. So, I tried to pass for healthy. For six months I have been wearing this shabby little wig with a hat or scarf over it. During chemo I hid in the classroom closet whenever I needed to cry (often). The wards didn't catch on. They just thought I had incredibly bad taste in head fashion. But yesterday that changed. I have become pretty close friends, as I often do, with a ward. He is from a group home and has seen his share of sorrows by age 17. He asked me, gently, "Ms. Z, do you wear scarves because you have cancer?" I instantly felt worlds collide. And, darn it, tears fell from my eyes. Maybe it was just a release of the pressure of the past months. "Yes", I told him. Then I lied (in a way) "But it is all gone. I have beat it and I am just waiting for my hair to grow back" The world stood still. I was afraid as I waited for his reply. And he said, "Aww, Ms. Z. don't cry" And then, I swear, a black teenage gang member orphan matched my tears.
There is no moral to this story. Just an incredible moment of contact that will be with me for a long time. Long after my hair has grown in and he has gone on to his future too. I just wanted to share that. I know you all have these moments too, with different circumstances, that take us into deep waters, but take us in flimsy, yet seaworthy, boats of compassion. Love to you all, Joyce
I teach at a lock up facility for teenage felon boys. I did not want the wards to know that I was battling cancer. Because I did not want to complicate their lives as our friendship is one of the building blocks of their education. Also, I did not feel like becoming a cancer role model. Maybe that is not good, but it is true. So, I tried to pass for healthy. For six months I have been wearing this shabby little wig with a hat or scarf over it. During chemo I hid in the classroom closet whenever I needed to cry (often). The wards didn't catch on. They just thought I had incredibly bad taste in head fashion. But yesterday that changed. I have become pretty close friends, as I often do, with a ward. He is from a group home and has seen his share of sorrows by age 17. He asked me, gently, "Ms. Z, do you wear scarves because you have cancer?" I instantly felt worlds collide. And, darn it, tears fell from my eyes. Maybe it was just a release of the pressure of the past months. "Yes", I told him. Then I lied (in a way) "But it is all gone. I have beat it and I am just waiting for my hair to grow back" The world stood still. I was afraid as I waited for his reply. And he said, "Aww, Ms. Z. don't cry" And then, I swear, a black teenage gang member orphan matched my tears.
There is no moral to this story. Just an incredible moment of contact that will be with me for a long time. Long after my hair has grown in and he has gone on to his future too. I just wanted to share that. I know you all have these moments too, with different circumstances, that take us into deep waters, but take us in flimsy, yet seaworthy, boats of compassion. Love to you all, Joyce
0
Comments
-
Thats a beautiful story Joyce. I can certainlly relate to the way you must have felt. Funny how our shabby little wigs tell on us.
Do you have a web page? Your words are an inspiration to me every time I read them. I didn't have a computer for a while and I missed when you started coming to csn.0 -
Joyce,
For as much as you've touched us on this board with your stories, advice, humor, and even sadness at times, I can only imagine how you've touched the lives of those boys that get the pleasure and honor of seeing you in person all week. I'm betting that others have wondered about your head gear, but just haven't wanted to intrude on your privacy. And I'm guessing that many more have shed invisible tears over what you've had to go through.
You're my hero, Joyce. And I'm so happy to have gotten to know you. The Beast is an SOB, but I'm a little grateful to him for giving me the opportunity to meet you and the other girls.
You ROCK, Baby!
Kim0 -
Joyce, I can only second what has been said here. You know how I feel about your depth of spirit and depth of soul coupled with your ability to put those deep feelings into words. I, too, am so grateful to call you friend. Love, Marilynnkbc4869 said:Joyce,
For as much as you've touched us on this board with your stories, advice, humor, and even sadness at times, I can only imagine how you've touched the lives of those boys that get the pleasure and honor of seeing you in person all week. I'm betting that others have wondered about your head gear, but just haven't wanted to intrude on your privacy. And I'm guessing that many more have shed invisible tears over what you've had to go through.
You're my hero, Joyce. And I'm so happy to have gotten to know you. The Beast is an SOB, but I'm a little grateful to him for giving me the opportunity to meet you and the other girls.
You ROCK, Baby!
Kim0 -
I have a web page on this CSN site, but that is all. Trust me though...I don't think you would want to read my earlier posts. I was scared and pretty whiney. It has taken me a while to find my feet. It will take me a little longer to find my toenails (popped off during chemo!). In those days I used to marvel at the strong women on this site (Chen, Zahlene, Pheonixrising, to name a few). I think we will all get there, each finding our own type of strength and our own voice. love, JoyceJadie said:Thats a beautiful story Joyce. I can certainlly relate to the way you must have felt. Funny how our shabby little wigs tell on us.
Do you have a web page? Your words are an inspiration to me every time I read them. I didn't have a computer for a while and I missed when you started coming to csn.0 -
Wow, what kind words you give me my friends. You can't imagine how much I enjoy writing here and how full of gratitude I am when someone responds. We each have our ways, right? For instance I like to serve stories, but I have to say that if you come to my house I will serve you oreos because I hate to cook. Lets each keep doing for others what we enjoy. And if you are one of those people who does it by cooking fabulous meals, can I have your address? Love, Joyce0
-
Thanks Joyce, as I've told you before, you're a great person and an inspiration for many of us here. I am so glad to have met you and all the sisters on this site. I think we are all wonderful and courageous people fighting for our lives. Lili0
-
I was without my computer for a few days~ how wonderful to log on today and see this story! Sheer joy, Ms Joyce!
I beg to differ with you on one point: You say this story has no moral to it? I cite the definition of moral:
"Teaching or exhibiting goodness or correctness of character and behavior".
I dare say, both you and your ward are indeed the epitome of moral.
We who know you from these boards are touched by your words, but by no means surprised by them.
It is just who you are~ in person on online. Our Joyce!!
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
What a wonderful story of HOPE. Hope for a misguided, abused, disillusioned, abandoned younger generation. Hope for you and all cancer survivors. It's amazing to see cancer truly cross all socio-economic lines. I've always said that cancer is a true equalizer.
God Bless all that you do, Joyce.
Be well. Hugs
Coug0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.8K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 446 Bladder Cancer
- 309 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.5K Breast Cancer
- 397 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 13K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.4K Kidney Cancer
- 671 Leukemia
- 792 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 237 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 61 Pancreatic Cancer
- 487 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.5K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 539 Sarcoma
- 730 Skin Cancer
- 653 Stomach Cancer
- 191 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.8K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards