Hello again

ruggersocks

It's been, well, I don't even know how long it's been since I last looked here or even posted. I've been avoiding coming here because I just wanted to be 'normal'. Whatever the heck that is!

I was diagnosed with stage 3 rectal cancer in May 2006. Had the radiation, rectal resection surgery, and had chemotheraphy (Folfox). I was done in Jan. 2007.

And couldn't run fast enough out of the doctor's office. Lots of feelings of loss, anger, grief, relief, pain, etc. Several months worth of clear CTscans.

My cancer returned on July 2007 with 1 tumour/met in my liver and 1 tumour/met in my lung. Since July, I've had a new chemotheraphy (Folfiri), liver ablation, lung surgery and am 2 chemo treatments away from being done. My last chemo treatment is June 4th.

My marriage suffered greatly in the Fall of 2007. The loss of faith and hope allowed bitterness to turn our hearts to black. Those months were very, very dark.

But, I'm here now. Feeling more hope, praying and reading devotionals everyday. Being a stay at home mom to my 2 daughters, age 5 and 3. And still married. We've come through our bitterness to a less eventful place.

I'm not sure if our marriage will make it, but I've seen what forgiveness looks like from both sides. And I like what it looks like.

I feel stronger mentally now. I feel more honest in how I deal with living. No more lying to myself on anything. I'm willing to deal with the reality of life, even if it hurts.

I'm so glad this group is here. I've missed you, old friends. I plan on sticking around for a loooong time! As long as God needs me here

Love and hugs to all of you,
Cheryl

brn2ride

sometimes life is hard but it sounds like you are pretty hardy.I hope life blesses ya with much happiness.

tootsie1

It sounds to me like your marriage has a very good chance of making it. Best of luck on all fronts.

Gail

jenhopesprays

Hi Cheryl,

Sounds like you have been through a bunch to say the least. My heart goes out to you. Cancer stinks doesn't it. It is most certainly not your fault you had to have major health problems and the feelings of loss, anger, relief, pain sound pretty dang normal to me.

I am so sorry you had to walk through dark days....

I'm a mommy too and would love to talk to and be an encouragement to you anytime!! Email me through the site if you wish!!

You are not alone....

Love hopes all things!!

Jennifer W.

You may want to check out this neat site:
http://www.mycrcconnections.com/

Monicaemilia

Cheryl: I think you hit the nail right on the head. I have also learned that the only way to deal with this disease, and also life, is by looking at it head on and honestly. You will never win a battle if you cannot see what is coming at you. Love and forgiveness will not only enrich your relationships (including the one with your husband) but it is also great medicine against this disease. Be patient, have faith, and you will be amazed at how wonderful life can be. Monica

pamness

Sounds like you have had a rough time, I hope things will improve. I, too, am Stage IIIA - diagnosed January 2007, would love to run away from everything, I can imagine how you feel. If your kids are so young, you must be pretty young yourself. I hope everything gets better from here.

Pam

shmurciakova

Hi Cheryl,
It was a long road to NED for me too, 2 1/2 years, one big met in my liver and 2 in my right lung. Today I am 3 1/2 years NED and well on the road to CURED. You will be too. Congratulations on finishing your chemo soon and on your marriage "weathering the storm".
Best of luck to you and your family,
Susan H.

spongebob

Ahoy, Ruggersocks!

Been gone for a LONG time myself. So sorry to hear about your recurrence. Sounds like you are going after this stuff with both barrels!

You know... speaking as a guy, a survivor, and as a caregiver (the wife is also a survivor)... seeing someone we love is incredibly difficult as a man. As men, we're "fixers". We "fix" things. That's what we do. If we can't "fix" it, it makes us crazy. If it's a click in our engine and we can't fix it, we're usually content to let it go. If it's a squeaky door we can't "fix" it makes us absolutely crazy... if it's someone we love and we can't "fix" them, it it makes us absolutely NUTS... we're grouchy all the time.

Anyway, ... I'll step down now... Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers...

- SpongeBob

vchildbeloved

Hello Cheryl, I'm pretty new to the whole cancer thing. Was recently diagnosed with stage III colon cancer, presently going through chemo treatment. Being new to this, I am certainly not new to having faith, trust and belief in God. There is one of my favorite scriptures that I would like to share with you if you don't mind. It reads, " God is able to do exceeding abundantly, beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works within us. (Eph. 3:20) Paraphrased it reads, "Now glory be to God who by His mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of-infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.

Will keep you and your precious family in my prayer.

God bless,
Valerie