Spouse acting withdrawn

milenahunter Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
My husband had Lymphoma last year, but has been cancer free for 10 months. His physical being is fine, but his mental being has really taken a downslide. He is acting withdrawn and acts like he has no enjoyment for life. I asked him about it, and he said that he is just not the same person that he used to be. I am trying to be understanding and patient, but it has been a year already since his last treatment. Does anyone know when or if this feeling will go away for him. I feel like we are just two people living in the same house. I have not felt married to him in a long time. Any help would be greatly appreciated.


  • soccerfreaks
    soccerfreaks Member Posts: 2,788
    Milena, as a survivor myself, twice now, I can tell you that being told that you have cancer is often shock enough to bring on a bout of depression. It is sort of like being hit upside the head with a midlife crisis, regardless of age: you are at once confronted with your mortality, and therefore with the meaning of your life and its value and whether you have made a difference and whether you have fulfilled ambitions, and so forth.

    That is to say nothing of the potential depressing effects of treatments like chemotherapy (the jury seems to be out).

    I have felt from the start of my own episode that psychotherapy should be a part of treatment FROM THE START, as normal as chemotherapy in treating a cancer survivor, for the reasons mentioned above, along with others for some of us, as cancer can be de-hairing or disfiguring, for example.

    You might consider suggesting therapy for your husband. If he is like many of us, men in particular, he may be opposed to the notion, but it can do a world of good.

    Best wishes to you and to your husband.

    Take care.
  • Soccerfreaks speaks wisdom.
    I would only add that if you can not get your husband to get some therapy that should not deter you from getting some support on your own.
    There might be a support group in your area or you might need to go for something more 'professional', but caregiving is a stressful situation at best and you deserve care as much as your spouse does.