All hair is gone!!!

sylva Member Posts: 80
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
This same subject was talked about last week. Now is my hair. It was falling since last Wednesday. Finally Saturday I had to go to clip it out, it was all over the table, the food, my shoulders....

I knew I had to do it, it was going to fall anyway. But now, I almost cannot look at me in the mirror. I think that is not only the "look", is the confirmation that I'm a cancer patient. Before, I was feeling good, going out, in my subconscious, I was thinking I was OK. Now I know that I have to fight this with all my strength, that I want to live and be myself again one day, and all this in some way SCARE me!!

This is nothing new, but it hurts. I cannot go out without the wig, yet. I think that step by step I will overcome this too, like so many things we have to overcome with this disease.

Just having a pitty party, saying goodbye to my long, redish, and curly hair... at least I brought it all to my house in a plastic bag!!!

Thank you for "listening", Silvana


  • ymarps
    ymarps Member Posts: 1
    Hi. Yes, most of my hair has fallen out too since starting a new chemo regime 6 weeks ago. Even tho this is the 2nd time I've had hair loss following chemo, it's still not easy to be bald.
    Because I'm more self consious, I find I avoid going out, & have become more reclusive as well.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    Oh my Sweet Sisters! ( Both SYLVA and ymarps) Losing our hair is indeed one of the indignities we suffer while we are Killing the if we needed yet another one! I remember being absolutely shocked and horrified to find out that "you will lose your hair" meant any and everyplace there was any!!!

    I hated losing my long, auburn hair~ it was the last vestige of my femininity remaining. Well, outwardly, at any rate. Let it be said that it does grow back, and you will not be chained to a life of baldness!

    This may help put things into some perspective for you: How do you feel when you see a woman wearing a bandana? Repulsed? Disgusted? That she is not a woman any longer? I have a sneaking suspicion that you feel no such thing! And, if you are anything like me, you might even approach her, and give a "sister-in-arms" hug! Try and remember how YOU feel about your fellow hairless warriors, and allow others to view you the same way!!!

    There are a number of postings about hair loss and how we feel and cope with it...and that we ALL get beautiful, wavy, post-chemo hair!!! As you will too!

  • Unknown
    Sylva, I totally can relate to your looking in the mirror, seeing your baldness, and feeling like a cancer patient. It is though it finally sinks in because we then actually look like we have cancer. But it is important to remember that it is the chemo that will improve your survival and help kill any stray cancer cells. After a while you will get used to being bald, you'll see. Before you know it, your hair will begin to grow back just like the flowers in Spring. Hang in there, Eileen.
  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    It is a hard adjustment. If you don't already know, some people get involved in "Look good, Feel better," a support group for cancer survivors by cancer survivors where you can meet, learn beauty tips, and even get free make-up. You can go online, or ask your local ACS if there is a group in your area.

    Also, I don't know if you are interested, but my sister had very long, blonde hair. When she cut it before her chemo she sent it to Locks of Love...they make wigs for kids with cancer. Your hairdresser might know how to help you if you want make that kind of donation. She found it emotionally less painful to lose her hair if she knew she could help a child. You may not share her sentiments...That is perfectly each their own in this battle.

    All the best to you, seof
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    Yes, it WAS inevitable. But, still, it's quite a shock. So much of our self image is tied up in this stuff....
    I got my head shaved 2 days after a chemo. Wrong...I was already looking ill. So, here I come home, look in the mirror, and gasp!!! I had lost my beautiful auburn hair...maybe forever!!!!

    I tried a wig...wore it for 30 a computer clients...ripped it off my tears...
    Went to K-Mart with my beau and tried on every hat they had. Looked in the mirror, and there, in the middle of K-Mart, started crying. Picture a bald woman, in a rediculous hat, crying. Yup, that was me....

    But, I started telling myself how proud I was of me, and that many MEN are considered handsome without hair, and why NOT me, too??? and I felt better.

    It sounds tired, but you will get used to it, and then, before you know it, your new hair will start growing, and you will experience a 'first cut' hair cut (My hairdresser put a lock of my new hair in a little plastic bag with a card that said 'my first haircut'...for little kids...I still have it).

    I saved my shorn locks, and then put them far, far, away. It is in my memory book of cancer...

    Pity parties are great stress relievers!!! I have had many....feel free to share one anytime...we have all been there!!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Unknown
    I want to cry with you! I lost mine in December and I remember crying didn't even hurt as much as looking in the mirror did. Now I have 3/4 of an inch hair growing back. I can't add too much more than the others have, or that you don't already know except this. I promise you that as bad as it feels losing your hair, it will feel as good getting it back. Can you imagine all the happiness that must be in store for you! In the meantime, know that you and I and every other woman who has lost her hair share a tender bond. You are SO not alone. I hope you can feel a little of that tenderness here. love, Joyce
  • kbc4869
    kbc4869 Member Posts: 159
    Hi Sylva,

    There are sure a lot of ladies losing their hair around here lately! I wish we all lived on the same street and had our own little Treatment City where we'd greet each other in the grocery store and say things like "That hat makes you look 10 years younger!" and things like that, so we would not feel so alone.

    Each time someone posts on this board that they've lost their hair, I get a lump in my throat as if I'm about to lose mine all over again. I try to think of things to say to make it easier for you. But the bottom line is LOSING YOUR HAIR SUCKS. There's no way around it. But know . . . you are proactively fighting your cancer . . . your hair will grow back as beautiful as ever . . . someday you'll look in the mirror at yourself in awe and say, "Look at what I'm able to get through." . . . and someday you'll be dishing advice out to someone else who is losing their hair for the first time and needs your help.

    You can do this. You are strong, a force to be reconkoned with. You are beautiful and dignified, hair or not. Keep your chin up and stand up straight. You are not alone. We are all pulling for you and are here when you need us.

  • sylva
    sylva Member Posts: 80
    THANK YOU TO YOU ALL!!!!!!!!
    It really help so much to hear from you, your understanding, your own personal experience, your hopefull words... Finally I can get it that I'm not crazy or silly or vain for feeling this way, it's normal and it's ok to feel this way.
    Today I had an appt for the LOOK GOOD FEEL BETTER. And it was such a wonderful and positive experience. So many good tips, and the bag with all these free cosmectics. On top of that they had donated wigs, they tried a couple on me until the "perfect" one came across, and they gave it to me. So much love around!!!! They really made my day, and I think I made theirs, because we were all happy with this exchange of love.
    Take care all, big hug!!