Brand New in all this!

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sylva
sylva Member Posts: 80
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hello everyone, this is all new for me. It's been a month and a half since the biopsies, diagnosis, mastectomy, and now after the first chemo treatment... I know that the only way to take it is one day at a time, sometimes moment by moment. I know that I have to set my mind to win this. I know that I have to accept this at 50. I know so many things that I read and people tell me, but I know too that I feel still so helpless, so why me, so how I can do this...
My work (medical receptionist) was almost fist on my priorities. Using my physical strength, and outdoor activities were always there. Now all these things are on the side, the work is a no no because of the germs, the outdoor activities, the sun already burnt my skin... Sorry if I'm having a pitty party today, but that's how I feel in this moment. Thank you for any input and your patience.

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  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #2
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    Hello Silvana.
    Ahhhh....I remember it well....
    Key word: 'remember'
    Your day will come to say 'Hey, I remember biopsies, diagnosis, mastectomy, chemo.......'.
    I started this process in 1986 at age 38.
    I will be turning 60 this summer and am doing well, living life as I choose.
    Your goal is to do what has to be done, put it behind you, and move on into life. Yes, it is a one-day-or-sometimes-one-minute-at-a-time process, but taking small bites and chewing slowly has always been good advice I believe.
    We are here when you need us. God bless.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #3
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    unknown said:

    Hello Silvana.
    Ahhhh....I remember it well....
    Key word: 'remember'
    Your day will come to say 'Hey, I remember biopsies, diagnosis, mastectomy, chemo.......'.
    I started this process in 1986 at age 38.
    I will be turning 60 this summer and am doing well, living life as I choose.
    Your goal is to do what has to be done, put it behind you, and move on into life. Yes, it is a one-day-or-sometimes-one-minute-at-a-time process, but taking small bites and chewing slowly has always been good advice I believe.
    We are here when you need us. God bless.

    I agree. 2 years post treatment, I have no side effects. Even tho I had every side effect possible during treatment, and could not even gather the strength to walk to the mailbox and back on some days!!!
    This is a period in your life, just like school..."I can't pass this exam" or "I can't live without this boy" that will also pass.
    Take good care of your body, don't try to push it...keep hydrated, baby your skin (I used Aquaphor for the radiation). Before you know it, you WILL be outside again, and living life large!

    Hugs, Kathi
    PS Pity parties are DEFINATELY allowed!!!
  • cabbott
    cabbott Member Posts: 1,039 Member
    #4
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    Your post brings back memories of when I was first diagnosed (5 years ago now). I visited my local library for any information on this nasty disease that I knew nothing about. One book title stuck in my head to this day: First You Cry. I don't remember if I read it or not, but the fact that we all experience helplessness/hopelessness/anger stuff at first was summed up in the title perfectly. Then we dust ourselves off and carry on with cancer mostly in the background though the little losses along the way bring back the tears of frustration for me at times. Some of the losses are temporary. Eventually chemo will be over and you can go back out in the sun. Your strength will eventually come back.Some losses that might have come anyhow with age (like menapause) led to a new normal. Right now, though, you will have to baby yourself, avoid the sun, and get someone else to carry the heavy stuff. Check in here for plenty of company and support. Hugs!
    cabbott
  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    #5
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    I was diagnosed in May'07. I did chemo, then surgery (bilateral mastectomy) and am done with the first out of six weeks of radiation, then I will do more herceptin and reconstruction in about a year. My first reaction was to be upset that I might have to quit a job I had worked 5 years to get, after working there only 2 years. I had to come to the point where I told myself it was better to stop working for a while, if it would mean living longer and healthier. It turned out side effects from chemo weren't bad enough to keep me from working. The next emotional hurdle was to come to terms with the fact that my treatment will take 2 years, all together....no instant fix! I have to think that 2 years of inconvenience (OK, maybe that is MUCH to mild a word) is not a bad trade off for many more years of healthy living. I think your feelings are pretty normal. Just follow the advice of the other 2 ladies: think of this as a temporary "time out" for you to take care of yourself. It will pass and you will come out on the other side as you with new twist.

    Hope it helps, seof
  • CindyPR
    CindyPR Member Posts: 36
    #6
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    Hello,
    My name is Cindy, have been involved with cancer with both breasts for 5 years. My hubby is in military, so stationed here in Puerto Rico. It is a hard turn as I have done, but there is success, as 5 years free. Did the chemo and ratio. I was also found at 5 years ago. Be strong, do not give up, as I have never done that. If you need some more support always here.
    Just reply. Be strong friend, as we are all here.
    Cindy
  • mgm42
    mgm42 Member Posts: 491 Member
    #7
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    Silvana, I'm 66 and was diagnosed last November. At my age, I never thought I would make it through the maze of breast cancer and treatment. I had a lumpectomy in December, then on to chemo in February. I just finished my last round - and I'm still here. I start radiation in early May. While going through treatment, I missed everything about my life. My lament was "I want my life back." Guess what! It IS starting to happen. Now that chemo is over, I think I can see myself doing normal things like going out shopping with the girls, running errands,planting my garden, and watching my grandchildren. Of course, I'll rest and take care of myself. I will follow doctors' orders. But your life does return. You just have to be patient, which is hard, I know. And, you have to take care of yourself - put yourself first - which is not always easy, but it is a MUST. Then in several months, you can post that you HAD chemo and/or radiation, and that you have your life back. Good luck kiddo. We're here for you as you go through this. Hugs, Marilynn
  • CatheS
    CatheS Member Posts: 21
    #8
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    Silvana - my 50th birthday was just a few weeks ago. I am recovering from my FINAL reconstruction done 4/14. Know that my pity parties were brief and by limited invite (me only). Buy some SPF 50, get a comfy lawn chair and indulge in your favorite music. Visit here for hugs and comfort when u need to, Cathe
  • sylva
    sylva Member Posts: 80
    #9
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    I really really really appreciate all your "earned wisdom", compassion, and understanding. Friends and family want to help, but this is something that the only person that really understand is the one that has to go through, the one that already went through. I've been reading other subjects and answers in this discussion board, and how I can see myself in so many of them.... This is a new world, changing every moment, nothing is the same... I was so used to have a routine, no more routines at least for a while...
    Thank you all!! I will try to find support groups or other people who already had gone through all this.
    Hugs!
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #10
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    Hi Silvana, you will get through this. Just as everyone has said, be good to yourself, visit here, and try to think positive and time will pass. Soon you will be all finished with treatment and going on with your life:0) I used to be related(through marriage) to a Silvana. She had 2 brothers-Sam and Carmen. Anyway, hugs and blessings, Eileen

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