getting close to being done

nanagrandma

I've only got two more folfox treatments. I feel good but i feel anxious or something.Not sure what it is.Maybe knowing im going to be going back to work.I am trying to do somethings so i can be a little prepared.I just wondered if anyone else had these feelings when almost done.

pamness

Almost everyone has these feelings, even though they are counter-intuitive. My oncologist and radiaolgist both talked to me about feeling anxious and depressed after treatment ended. I assured them it would not be an issue for me, I would be so glad to be done. What a moron I was. I had a lot of stuff to deal with. If you think about it, you go from being a patient - with cancer related stuff being your primary job - and are tossed back into the regular world - not knowing if the dreaded cancer will come back or not. It's like you had one job for awhile and are sent back to your regular job but you still have to deal with all the uncertainty. I was encouraged to go the therapy all during treatment and especially afterwards. I did that and am doing well - I finished treatment last August. There are still things that cause me anxiety that I never would have thought about before. I am going to therapy and they put me on a small dose of zoloft which has helped. But sometimes, just talking about it does wonders. All the best - I am guessing you will be just fine. There is nothing odd about the anxiety you are feeling.

Pam

tootsie1

I think it's natural to worry a little and even get depressed about not being with your medical team quite so much. Scary to feel like you have to navigate the world alone.

Gail

funnyguy

That's a natural conflict of emotions that you are writing about.
Pam said it best I think. It's counter-intuitive.
We should be very happy to be done with treatment and excited to go on. But that little bit of doubt creeps in to ruin it all.

It does help to talk to others about it. That's what I've found. Even if they only listen; just so you can get it out and not bottle it up.

In the end, there is nothing we can do about the worry; so personally I focus on a positive thought each day and rally around that (i.e. soccer game for my son or seeing my daughter when I go home). It helps to push away the depressed thoughts that we can so easily dwell upon. I refuse to give cancer (and my experience with it) any more moments in my life. Aside from the positive work I do to help others fighting the disease.

impactzone

I know what you feel. I was that way after 6 months of chemo and then after the last surgery to get lung mets. It felt like I wasn't doing anything until onc said..you are doing something..eat well, exercise, sleep well, enjoy life.. do those things. Congrats!
Impactzone