anxiety takes its toll...

shmurciakova

Hello everyone,
I know I don't often post about my own problems, but I could use some advice. For about the past 8 months I have been having some problems at work with a co-worker. I don't know if it is as a result of having been through cancer or what, but I seem to have developed an anxiety disorder that transends my cancer diagnosis and is now spreading to other areas of my life. I am sure many of you have dealt with yucky co-workers, but I have not been able to let go or deal with the fact that this person treated me very poorly last summer (I am a seasonal forest ranger). Although I have not been working this winter I have obsessed over this and have tried with all my might to get my boss to not bring this person back for this coming season. Despite all my efforts, the powers that be seem to feel that either he is an angel, or I am the problem. So, nothing I can do will change their minds. I have gone as far as to try to find another job but at this point it doesn't look too promising.
What does that have to do with cancer you may ask?
Well, for the last week or so, after I had this dreaded meeting with management about this situation, I have been feeling a pressure in my head above my right ear. It is very persistent and only goes away when I either drink wine or go to sleep.
It is not there when I first wake up, but quickly returns. Being a Stage IV survivor, of course I worry that it could be a brain tumor or some such thing like that. Of course that causes me to worry even more and creates a vicious cycle. I recently noticed that I feel pain in my jaw too and while eating I observed that there are muscles running all the way up to my temples, and around my ear. I am now thinking that I have developed GAD, or "generalized anxiety disorder" as a result of having faced a life-threatening disease. Of course I am planning on following up with this and maybe having my routine tests bumped up (which will cause more anxiety) but I am really thinking that these are all physical manifestations of a combination of my medical history and my current work problems!
Have any of you, long term survivors or newbies experienced physical manifestations from prolonged anxiety?
Feeling like a basket case,
Susan H.

Faith4Cure

From one basket case to another! I think many of us let stress get the best of us. I know my job is very stressful and has caused many symptoms that have caused me to seek medical attention from time to time over the past 20 years. Unfortunately, a new job is not in my future because of health benefits (especially since my husband has been dx with cancer) My husband, however, was also experiencing a lot of stress with his job when he was diagnosed with cancer. In the last 6 months he found a different job that he enjoys so much more and causes less stress. I could see the difference in him immediately. I have to believe that reducing the stress is keeping him healthier. I also have to wonder if the stress he was experiencing was a factor in getting cancer in the first place.

Everyone has a different situation and new jobs are not always an option. If you can let your anger go and rid yourself of this anxiety at your current job, great! If you can't, keep looking for that new job. Life is too short!

Fergus2007

The pain you're discribing most likely is caused from grinding your teeth.
So YES - it is stress related.

I've had various physical manifestations of prelonged anxieties (non of which have been cancer related).

My doctor perscribed a very low dose of an anti anxiety drug for me years ago when I developed an over active acid production in an unmentionable region .
The pills helped to shut-up that over active hamster running in that wheel in my mind

So be it pain in the neck or pain in another area - shoot that hamster.

(You might want to try some Valerian - which is herbal)

KathiM

First of all, the pain sounds like TMJ...grinding and clenching your teeth...I get it sometimes, and focus on it till I stop....

As far as the co-worker. Hummm, well that is not so easy....I have found that if I write a letter to this person (usually never sent...just to unload....then I tear it up...) as to what is bothering me, that helps ALOT! Have you shared with your boss about WHY you don't want this person back? Maybe he/she can schedule you both on opposite shifts/sites, etc...

That said, you need to see that you are above this. This person, albeit in the wrong, may not even remember doing this...or realized what an impact it had on you...I had a 'best' friend who, thru her actions, landed me in court...sigh...and she, to this day, thinks what she did was O.K. In order for me to move past it, I had to work real hard at forgiving...NOT forgetting...what she had done...otherwise, it would have been disasterous for ME!!!!! It wasn't easy, but when I could finally rise above it, I felt soooo much better!

One of my tricks when I encounter someone who bugs me is to say (to myself, lol) If this person was faced with all that I faced, I'll bet they couldn't handle it...so I am a MUCH bigger person than they are. And I can't waste my thoughts on them.

It's a bit of a mind game, but it makes me much happier!

Hugs, Kathi

dash4

Susan,
My husband is also a Stage IV survivor and I do believe that controlling your stress is monumental in controling your health. I do think you need to share your symptoms with your oncologist, but I would also make an appointment with your dentist. It does sound like you are clenching from all the stress related thoughts and creating a TMJ problem. Anti--anxiety meds would help control that spiralling of your thoughts. But I would talk to your dentist about a splint or night guard-like a mouth guard- that you wear at night. It will protect your teeth and your TMJ while you are working your way through this stress. It is a simple and conservative "fix". It sounds like you have your TMJ muscles in a "spasm" and they need to relax.
I too am working in a difficult co-worker situation and it is very difficult to "let go". But you have come so far with your health--don't let anyone or anything interfer. I trully believe that God will settle things in His time-which is not often "our" time. Have faith and do what you do best--"feel good and proud about yourself". Enjoy your health-let NO ONE take that from you.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Mary Kay

nudgie

Anxiety, what a wide open word with sooo many different outcomes. Let's see, I developed an anxiety during my treatment, making my husband miss work a lot and staying home with me, which made me feel better, made the anxiety go away, but did not help us financially.

The mind is a very powerful organ and can produce many outomes to our body, spirt, etc., without us evening noticing.

Anxiety and stress can (has been proven) to really play havoc on our minds and bodies. My stress/anxiety release is physical activity/weight lifting along with finally getting into the mind set that LIFE REALLY IS TOO SHORT and we only have ONE LIFE that GOD gave us, so why not really enjoy it and make the best of it.

The co-worker thing, will let's see, there is one where I work that only works when she really wants to, constantly lying about medical issues, life crying wolf all the time. Other co-workers that only come in to get their paycheck (really don't work) and then me, who comes in every day, works my **** off for what? Like I said LIFE IS WAY TOO SHORT.

My mind set is, God gave me this life for a reason, why not enjoy, smell the roses, feel the grass between my toes,

PhillieG

As everyone else said, I agree that the teeth/jaw thing is from stress. I too have had stress around the workplace since being dx 4 years ago (today as a matter of fact). The mind can really run with the cancer and how it affects how we deal with people and how people deal with us. I would be surprised if the powers that be took action against your co-worker unless they did something against you or against policy and from what you told us, that did not seem to happen. There are no national laws against being a jerk (unfortunately).

Personally, I believe in taking whatever medications are available to help me cope with my situation. That includes a low dose of an anti-depressant and I also take an anti-anxiety drug as needed. I feel that one has to do what they feel is right for them to get through their days. For me, after I was dx and I started to get the stresses of work and was NOT on any medication, my life was miserable and going to work was dreaded. Now, while there are still some issues that arise from work, I can deal with them much better. I realize that many folks do not take meds for this and that's great if it works for them. Myself, I couldn't function. I do not know if this is of any help but it's my take on the situation. Try not to let your coworker bother you, if it's not that one person, it will be someone else. That's the way it seems to go. There is always someone else to pick up the baton so to speak.
-phil

cheryltaco

PhillieG said:

As everyone else said, I agree that the teeth/jaw thing is from stress. I too have had stress around the workplace since being dx 4 years ago (today as a matter of fact). The mind can really run with the cancer and how it affects how we deal with people and how people deal with us. I would be surprised if the powers that be took action against your co-worker unless they did something against you or against policy and from what you told us, that did not seem to happen. There are no national laws against being a jerk (unfortunately).

Personally, I believe in taking whatever medications are available to help me cope with my situation. That includes a low dose of an anti-depressant and I also take an anti-anxiety drug as needed. I feel that one has to do what they feel is right for them to get through their days. For me, after I was dx and I started to get the stresses of work and was NOT on any medication, my life was miserable and going to work was dreaded. Now, while there are still some issues that arise from work, I can deal with them much better. I realize that many folks do not take meds for this and that's great if it works for them. Myself, I couldn't function. I do not know if this is of any help but it's my take on the situation. Try not to let your coworker bother you, if it's not that one person, it will be someone else. That's the way it seems to go. There is always someone else to pick up the baton so to speak.
-phil

I take Ativan for my anxiety, it really helps. I also agree with the others, you really need to play the whole mind game especially when dealing with undesireables. Just keep telling yourself he just isn't worth it, not worth your time or your energy. Take a yoga class, do something physical, get a massage, read a self help book, all of these things can help you feel better about yourself and help to eliminate stress. Believe it or not even having a good cry can sometimes make me feel better, just the release of letting go. Again as the others have said, life is too short, enjoy. Blessings, Cheryl

shmurciakova

I know, you would think that being 3 years NED from Stage IV I would be a relaxed and happy person. I really do try, but I think that all this has taken a toll on my mind. I exercise and I've read many self help books, and so forth. I haven't tried meds, but I did take Ativan a while back for stress during my active cancer fighting period. Maybe I should just ask my doctor for a new Rx.
Another thing I have been thinking about is I wonder if I am sleeping on my shoulder or face in an odd way? This morning my shoulder really hurts. On top of that I have a sore throat and a "feminine itch" (sorry guys). I am just a big mess. I don't feel too stressed about work at the moment, but it was just something that went on and on for months and months! I realize life is too short! I also always wonder that if that guy knew what I had been through, would he still be so mean to me? Maybe, but l just need to realize that it is his problem. I don't have to partner with him this summer, so that is a big plus. I still have to see him at work though. Why can't he just go away?
Yeek. Well, I'll let you know if I find out anything (physically).
-Susan

crazylady

Hi Susan,

I'm so sorry that you are feeling anxious and having problems with a co-worker.

I believe that stress and anxiety played a part in my getting cancer to begin with.

Since then I have tried really hard to live a stress free life. To do this I take a low dose anti-depressent, anti-anxiety drug. I also see a therapist regularly which really helps. I find that talking about what's bothering me to someone who is objective often gives me a different perspective on things. I also try to have fun, to go out with friends or family and try to forget about the daily stuff.

Of course, every time I have any pain I jump to the conclusion that it's cancer. I try to laugh at myself especially since my original surgery cancer has not caused me any pain, but if something is persistent I get it checked out. Yes, it causes anxiety to go to the doctors, but less anxiety then waiting and worrying.

I hope everything works out for you and you find a way to deal effectively with your co-worker. It would be too bad to allow him to take the pleasure you usually feel about your job away.

I hope the above suggestions help.
Take care,
Jamie

Monicaemilia

shmurciakova said:

I know, you would think that being 3 years NED from Stage IV I would be a relaxed and happy person. I really do try, but I think that all this has taken a toll on my mind. I exercise and I've read many self help books, and so forth. I haven't tried meds, but I did take Ativan a while back for stress during my active cancer fighting period. Maybe I should just ask my doctor for a new Rx.
Another thing I have been thinking about is I wonder if I am sleeping on my shoulder or face in an odd way? This morning my shoulder really hurts. On top of that I have a sore throat and a "feminine itch" (sorry guys). I am just a big mess. I don't feel too stressed about work at the moment, but it was just something that went on and on for months and months! I realize life is too short! I also always wonder that if that guy knew what I had been through, would he still be so mean to me? Maybe, but l just need to realize that it is his problem. I don't have to partner with him this summer, so that is a big plus. I still have to see him at work though. Why can't he just go away?
Yeek. Well, I'll let you know if I find out anything (physically).
-Susan

Hi Susan: I'm sorry you have to go through this after all you have already gone through and conquered. I agree with everyone else about the grinding of teeth and jaw clenching. I had that when I was about to get married the first time (should have been a clue, dah!) and it was very painful. I also have had the neck pain, which was also attributed to stressful times in my life. I am also now dealing with anxiety over this disease which I know will snowball if I don't take hold of it and control it. Sooo, I know exactly how you feel. I would suggest following your own advice and see your doctor, and if you don't want to do the drugs route, perhaps talking to a psychotherapist, or just someone that you can trust and feel comfortable unloading your worries and fears. What you are feeling is totally normal, and I know you can beat it the same way you are beating this pesky cancer. Monica