Trying to be happy...

josiemac Member Posts: 27
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hello everyone. Its me, Josie, once again. I have great news to report. Clean PET scan, once again. I'm trying to be happy about it but in the back of my mind all I see is doom. After 2 years of cancer-free living, it came back in the lung. Back on chemo for 6 months and now all clean again. Lost my hair again(much more tramatic this time than last) and just trying to readjust. Has anyone had the "blues" after recurrence and remission? I need a boost. Thanks and blessing to all.


  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member

    I have never had a reocurrance, but I did have a second cancer that was treated 6 months after the 'all clear' on the first....

    I was PISSED!!!! Especially since my first chemo for the rectal cancer just had hair thinning!!! I KNEW what was coming this time!!!

    Just like last time, you know the hair will return....hummmm....I wonder with mine...what color/shape/curl would it be this time????

    My 5th second opinion (I REALLY didn't want to do chemo said it well...."You will continue to fight, as much as it takes. I know you are weary and frightened, but now you have a success, and why would you throw all of that hard work away by not being the best you can now?"

    That said, go ahead, have a pity party...I did...just make sure it's just a party, and not a way of life!!!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • 3cbrca
    3cbrca Member Posts: 206
    Hi josie - I just finished my treatment this year and haven't had a recurrance, but like Kathi - I was diagnosed with Breast 3 years after colon. I know if I were in your place I would be in the same state of mind - and no amount of cheering up would work until I was ready to accept it and move on. It takes some time to accept the new diagnosis and readjust to the inevitable "what do I do now questions"? You'll get there - just don't feel bad about feeling bad! You're entitled!
  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    I am still going through treatment for my 1st diagnosis...hopefully last, so I am not to your stage in life yet. However, my sister was diagnosed with BC, had unilateral mastectomy, then recurrence in less than a year on the other breast. over the next 5 years she went through various treatments. Cancer would seem to be in remission, then show up in another part of the body, like a rabbit running from a hound. I did not live close enough to her to be around as much as I wanted, but I know what helped her was her trust in God and her determination to enjoy life as much as she could each day.

    That said, I agree with Kathi, it is OK to be unhappy, mad, scared, tired, or whatever, as long as we do not become paralized by it.

    Best wishes...seof
  • phoenixrising
    phoenixrising Member Posts: 1,508
    Hi Josie, what I see is someone who doesn't put a whole lotta stock in the words "your clear" because you've been down that road before and thought it was all behind you till it reared it's ugly head again. I think what you're feeling is perfectly natural and I think that like before you will gradually get more and more "good" days and start putting it all behind you again. Hopefully it will stay that way.

    I find wild places help with my mood. Sometimes it's only a little lift, but still a lift.

    Good blessings to you and I'm sending a smile and a hug :)
  • Oh, hun, I can soooo relate.
    I had breast cancer in 86 and was just getting my hair back from chemo when BAM! same song same verse on other side. It was terribly discouraging.
    Then clear for 8 years and BAM! again in 96.
    However, here I am more than 21 years since it all started and doing just fine.
    Who can say about tomorrow? But dang it today is GOOOOD and I am gonna enjoy it if it kills me! LOL
    Hugs dear.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    Awww sweetie~ The Sisterhood of the Traveling Mammograms gives you a much deserved Group Hug! ((((((HUG)))))) It is oftentimes so difficult to put The Beast behind us, isn't it? As trite as it may seem, it truly does help to live each day on its own merit. By no means am I a Pollyanna; Cancer is NOT a gift ! That having been said~ my days are better when I don't let the scary thoughts and the what-if's overwhelm me. And if they did, and my blues turned into depression, I hopefully would seek medical intervention.
    I am so glad you keep coming in to the discussion boards~isn't it wonderful to be among true Kindred Spirits who really do understand?