Life Changes after Diagnosis

newboobs

Has anyone made any significant life changes since diagnosis or the completion of treatment? I know I am very sensitive to what and whom I surround myself with now. I don't want to see violence on TV and rarely watch the news. And I also have become keenly aware of negative people. I have always been a risk taker, but now it seems that I can evaluate situations and people much quicker. I guess I guard my schedule, my heart and my reaction to situations now more than ever. And, I strive to be a positive person in my business and personal life more.

Susan956

I probably have limited my time much more with negative people. I tend to try to spend my time more on the the people who are important to me.

I guess I look at it as my getting my priorities straight.

Susan

lovonna

Now when I learn of someone being diagnosed, I do more than I would have ever done prior to my own diagnosis. I go to the hospital, I make the phone calls, I run the errands for them, pick up mail, do laundry, check answering machine etc....make a meal or buy a meal and deliver.

In the past 3 months I have had four people I know very well that have been diagnosed with some kind of cancer. One is dead, one is in the hospital, one is getting ready for 2nd chemo treatment, and one is making surgery decisions. I have tried very hard to be there for them and their families in some way. One is out of state, but I have mailed cards, sent e mails and made phone calls.

LoVonna

chenheart

I try and avoid negativity as well. It seems that we survivors have gained an "awareness" of sorts, and that we go out of our way to surround ourselves with people who cause us the least amount of stress! I realize that all of our personal circumstances differ, and some of us don't have emotional support at home~which I think makes the outside Positive Influences all the more important. I am by no means a Pollyanna, and have always been an upbeat person for the most part. I find I have lost some of my patience around people who complain over what I now perceive to be petty problems. My "ephiphany" about this reaction is that I am a bit jealous of them, and wish that I ( and all of the survivors/caregivers) had nothing more to worry about than a hangnail! Guess I have some things to work through....LOL

newboobs

lovonna said:

Now when I learn of someone being diagnosed, I do more than I would have ever done prior to my own diagnosis. I go to the hospital, I make the phone calls, I run the errands for them, pick up mail, do laundry, check answering machine etc....make a meal or buy a meal and deliver.

In the past 3 months I have had four people I know very well that have been diagnosed with some kind of cancer. One is dead, one is in the hospital, one is getting ready for 2nd chemo treatment, and one is making surgery decisions. I have tried very hard to be there for them and their families in some way. One is out of state, but I have mailed cards, sent e mails and made phone calls.

LoVonna

LoVonna you are so right. It makes you feel great to be there for someone who is going down the road you've already traveled. I must admit that some days it's difficult for me to do that or to even visit this website. I lost a very dear friend in May whom I met here on this chatroom and had visited several times in person. But, I truly feel like it's what I'm meant to do...to help others who are struggling. Chen, I totally agree about folks whining. My favorite response to that is, "Yes it may seem bad, but it sure beats lying in the hospital!" They always laugh and say, "Yeh, you're right." LOL

coug90

Funnily enough, I think I take more risks and am more selfish now that I have had breast cancer. Not so much with my health - I do go to my doctor appointments (under duress... LOL). What I have noticed is that I don't put off doing what I want to do. I'm taking more trips, experiencing more in life and doing all without apology. Before when I would think of all the reasons why I couldn't go, now it's why not? I don't have a lot of time anymore for people who are fake; I figure they can waste someone elses precious time. I'm more to the point and I don't dress up what I think in frilly little feel good sentences so much. Not that I am completely insensitive, but I feel much more aware of the time I have left; and I want to enjoy as much of it as I can.

cabbott

I had to think about this for a while before I responded. I have cut out some activities since cancer invaded my life. Things that were stressful before bc are out of my life now. I also wait to make some plans till almost the last minute. I used to plan things to death and overschedule myself too often. I try to be more empathetic to others facing health issues and think about taking them a meal or helping them with chores. I used to be upset at birthdays because I was "getting old" (this started at age 12 on!). Now I celebrate every one I get. I told my friends I wanted pink for my 50th rather than black. Most understood and complied. I exercise and take care of my health more now. I may be the only person at my place of work with 2 kinds of cancer, but looking at me you would think I was one of the healthiest ones there. I take my relationship with God a lot more seriously now too.

seof

I started adjusting my attitudes when my sister was diagnosed at the age of 39 in 1998. When people complained to her about Birthdays, she would say, "Birthdays are a GOOD thing! If you don't want to have another, you can do something about it". She had no patience for those who complained about getting older. She lived with cancer 5 years before she went to live cancer free in heaven. Now that I am diagnosed, I think the main changes I have made are in my personal attitudes. I make much more of an effort to avoid complaining or being negative. I now understand the emphasis my Sister always put her statement, "I have cancer, but I am not sick"...even when her body was doing its best to contradict her at the end.