Mom Newly Diagnosed, I am scared to lose another parent

bbcat417 Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Lung Cancer #1
Hi, I am 31 years old and my my who is 61 was just was newly diganosed with NSCLC on 5/10 with mets to the brain and adrenal gland. The doc said no to surgery due to the location of the mass - it is in her left side lower lobe on the inner part and is about 6 by 4 by 2 cm. She considered stage 4. She is currently having radiation to the brain, started that on 5/30 and will continue to 6/19 (15 treatments total). She is then to have a port put in and start chemo. They said chemo once every 3 wks to start for about 6 treatments. My mom does not want to know anything - I handle all her appts and she will not let the doc tell her a prognosis - I want/need to know... what am I facing? From the looks of it, it isn't good. My father just passed in Sept 2004 and I am trying (not very well) to be calm. I miss him terribly as does my mom and thinks he should be here with her as she was for him. She is handling it hard, trying to be brave, but is terrified. I would be grateful for any thoughts.


  • ernrol
    ernrol Member Posts: 90
    One thing you can try to do, is to get you mom to to this site and read. If she won't you should order the book and give it to her.

    Fighting Cancer by H. R. Bloch is a book that I did not read till after I was in remission. What was so amazing to me is that I had done just about everything that he has written in this book and I thought the same way about my cancer. I just recently discovered this link that will lead a newly diagnosed cancer patient to a wealth of information.

    Here is the web address that will take you to a letter written by R. A. Bloch. He was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and told that he had three months to live. He chose to fight for his life and was declared cancer-free two years later. 26 years later he died in of heart failure, not cancer.

    From this web site you can get a free copy of fighting cancer and get a list of places to get good second opinions. I think this book is a must for anyone interested in beating this disease. It may help a caregiver to know, but unless the patient gets involved in his or her cure it will do little good.

    I am doing a series of reports on each supplement that I take with links to references. If you would like these reports e-mailed to you, e-mail me your address and I will send you all back reports and new ones as I complete them. I will also send you a way to organize your reports for maximum use. If I can answer any questions let me know.

    Stay positive,

  • dreamer925
    dreamer925 Member Posts: 19
    Dear bbcat - let me first say that I am sorry to hear about all you and your mom are going through. It can be tough, on both of you. I am a survivor and my son was my caretaker. I understand both sides and my prayers are with you both.
    While you are going through a rough time here, you must really try to keep the faith and believe she will survive this. You will hear many times on this site that Attitude is everything, and while it sounds idiodic at a time like this, it is true. Once you give up mentally, your spirit dies too.
    Like you mom, I had NSCLC. I did the chemo every three weeks and had my lower lobe removed. It is amazing how strong the human body really is. I can tell you that the best thing you can do for your mom at least once a day is make her laugh. Let her know you believe. What worries me is that she is in denial. Her oncologist should have a counselor team that can help her. Take advantage of all help offered.
    My thought, prayers and heart go out to you and your mom. God Bless You for stepping up to the plate and being there for her. She is Blessed to have you.
    Hugs and prayers....Lilie
    SMITCH Member Posts: 3
    I am sorry to hear about your Mom. I am going through the same thing only I have no details yet about what stage she is at. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
  • GrammyJones
    GrammyJones Member Posts: 7
    Hi BBcat. I was diagnosed with Small Cell Lung Cancer Stage IV in Aug. 06 just a few days short of my 50th birthday. It had attacked both my lungs, liver, lymph nodes and bones. Please stess to your mom that she must stay positive. My world changed forever with those 3 words... "You have cancer!" I previously did chemo every 3 weeks for 6 group of chemo. I was "clean" for 4 months before learning it was back. It has returned to my liver and lymph nodes. My bones continue to be damaged from the cancer... mainly several "holes" eaten in my spine. But amazingly, I feel the best I've felt in well over a year... the cancer has only slowed me down slightly... I won't "give in" to it! I am again doing chemo along with additional injections for my bone pain. Surgery and/or radiation is not possible due to being so wide-spread. I continue to stay positive... and I refuse to let the cancer win this battle I fight. My doctors have been amazed at my improvements. Prayers are powerful1!! I will keep your mom in my daily prayers! God Bless... Vicki
  • cabbott
    cabbott Member Posts: 1,039 Member
    Please stress with your mom that not curable doesn't mean not treatable. Get to the best doctors you can get to and take their advice. While no one lives forever, that doesn't mean you can't try and live a while longer. Make each day count by doing things you both enjoy together. And don't forget to take care of yourself by taking some time for yourself too! I am praying for you both.