Good report, but I still hurt

billswife

Well the good news is my 6 week post chemo check up was good and I don't have to see the oncologist for 4 months! No serious side effects from the Arimidex and I think my hair is beginning to grow back.
But I'm still dealing with so much and like Kathy says there are just some bad days. This is one of them. Bill's been out of radiation for 2 weeks and totally off the steroids for 3 days now and I see some of the old symptoms coming back ( not as hungry,balance off,very tired) He says he's fine and it's like when he was coming off the radiation for the sinus cancer 3 years ago but having the brain involved so much this time is really scaring me.
I cry all the time--I worry that he won't be OK for the trip to see the kids Tuesday. Frankly, I can't remember the last time I was happy.
I've talked this all over with my DR. He says a lot of it is just the stress of the last 9 months ( the move , my diagnosis, Bills' brain mets, the added meds for me) and it's perfectly normal but we'll monitor me
We'll talk on Monday about putting him back on the steroids if it's not better over the weekend. So there is a plan-still I'm so unsettled.
Our oncology center has a support group for patients but not for caregivers (yet-but they're working on it)
So for now, I guess, you're it. Thanks for letting me vent. Keep thinking about us and a couple of prayers couldn't hurt either.

Kathy

KathiM

Aw, dearheart, I am sending my strongest, best hugs!

You need to take care of you. Realize, sadly, that there is a process to life...some of it out of our direct control. Bill knows enough to know when to ask for help...don't go looking for symptoms now...I love to say "Wow, if I were a doctor, could I come up with some good diseases to diagnose myself with!!"

Find something to laugh about everyday...at first that's hard, then it becomes easy. It has gotten ME thru alot...

But, yes, that said, there ARE those days....I allow myself my pity parties...but, if they don't brighten in 48 hours, I go talk to my angel patient care coordinator at my treatment center...she is a grief specialist...

Hugs, Kathi

ps...prayers on the way, too

LesleyH

Kathy,

I'm so sorry you are going through all this. It is so difficult. I'm a little worried that your doctor is not taking your depression seriously. I think it is a normal reaction to the incredible stress you are on and you should see a professional about some medication to get you through. Crying all the time is not a healthy coping strategy. There are great drugs out there. You might even ask your doctor about taking SamE.

Hugs.

Lesley

martyzl

Hello Kathy!
First, take care of yourself, We cannot take care of others if we don't take care of ourself. Sometimes it's even time to let others take care of us. (My lesson this 3rd round)- check into antidepressants as Lesley mentioned. I find the herb St. John's Wort works very well & it was recommended by my Psychiatrist when I first needed it over 10yrs ago. (Is the same thing as many commercial drugs.) Next, BREATHE. Deep breaths, often.
2wks is very early for Bill to be "normal" in my experience. I had whole brain radiation from my 3rd met hit this December and still have shaky days, down days, poor vision days, etc. Things will continue to change and improve. Believe. *smiles* I thought I'd be ok by February. HA! He may not be ready to travel yet, he'll know. I still cannot drive and a 4 hr trip with my family last month really wiped me out, still.
Be well, contact me if you like. It will all work out.
*hugs*
Marty

Susan956

Hey Kathy,
Sorry things are getting you down. Let's hope and pray that things will begin to get better and better for you... I can only imagine how hard it must be to deal with this in tandem. Try to be easy on each other and pick that one think that makes you feel better .... like a new sunrise and find it each morning.

Take Care... God Bless..

Susan

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