Is the beast back again?!?

Kitty3571

Hello again, Just need to vent a bit today - My first mammo since the big "C" a year ago is coming up on Feb 9th and I was already nervous of the outcome, naturally. A few weeks ago I started having pain in the same breast - It's been getting progressivly worse each day. My husband says to bump up my appt but what difference will 2 weeks make? Plus I don't think they will be able to read anything on the mammo anyway (they couldn't before) and my ultrasound isn't scheduled until Feb 19th - This is driving me crazy - I'd like to think it's my imagination but the pain is real. I'm so scared it's back - How ironic that its been one year almost to the day that I was diagnosed last year! Plus the icning on my cake is that my pap test came back positive, got a call from my GYN last week stating that they found "A type cells" and need to perform a Colposcopy exam which isn't until Feb 8th - My GYN says not to worry that it's probably nothing - I said that is what they told me about my b/c - So needless to say I have to worry about that as well. Just frustrated with it all - Don't want to have to go through it all again plus if it's back I'm going to get a mastectomy this time - Maybe I should just get a double mastectomy and get it over with? Had a lumpectomy last time w/chemo + rads, I'm Her2 which is also very scary!!! Thanks for listening - just needed to get it "off my chest"

Susan956

Kitty,

I think we can all understand the fear. We will all hope that you are just having a case of Canceritus... I think I get it about a week before all of my recheck appointments.... But if I were you I would follow your husbands advice.... Call and see if you can get an earlier appointment... and be assertive.. there is nothing worse than letting the fear eat at you... and there is a real reason to have fear.. It is perfectly natural.... and it could be your body warning you that things are not right.... It is so easy for Doc to say not to worry... but if they were in our shoes they would worry too.

So try to be good to yourself... and let us know how things work out for you....

Take Care... God Bless...

Susan
(also HER2+ and I am now 1 1/2 years out of diagnosis and have walked what sounds like the same path... so let me know if I can help more.)

cabbott

I find myself getting nervous every time one of my doctor appointments comes up. It is very common among survivors. I try to stay extra busy at work, exercise more than usual, talk to my circle of supporters, and stay away from caffine, but I still get restless before visits and tests. Most primary breast cancer does not cause pain, though a doctor should evaluate all complaints of pain to see what is causing the problem and how to address it. There are other problems besides breast cancer that frequently do cause pain. You might do a thorough breast exam and call the nurse at your doctor's office with the results right away. I would. Redness, localized pain, lumps, dimples, uneveness, and anything else unusual should be reported. Also check your temperature. By calling in your concerns early, they may be able to determine what course of action is necessary to treat the problem or at the very least address the pain issue. Just because we have breast cancer doesn't mean we can't get problems other women get. I'd call now so that your mammogram will be less painful on the 9th. Good luck on both tests! I will be thinking of you.

LesleyH

Hi Kitty, I understand what you are going through. First of all, the pain: My yardstick is - Does it wake me at night? If it keeps me from sleep, it's an emergency. The second thing is why not call the doctor and set up an appointment? They won't mind. He/she may then decide to bump up the appointments just to set your mind at ease. The abnormal pap is probably nothing. Just make sure they test for HPV.

Thinking of you.

Hugs.

Lesley

carmon

Hey Kitty, My mother told me not to worry when i was waiting for my biopsy results to come back too. They mean well but I have found our disease is not about us to them. Its about them. Most are not trying to be selfish they dont want us to be sick but denying it doesnt help. I had residual pain after my biopsy that my doctor told me was from the biopsy. If you are on meds for pain and cant wait i would suggest you call for an earlier appt too. Its the not knowing that was the worse for me. I was diagnosed on 10/20/06 and in three months i've had a mastectomy (left breast, my favorite one), 2 of my 4 scheduled chemo treatments, a shot in my butt to stop my periods from coming, my hair on my head is completely gone, and today is one of the days i want to cry. i want you to come through this so please call about the pain asap. my prayers are with you and let me know what happens

Kitty3571

Thanks everyone for your kind words, thoughts & suggestions. I'm a bit better today, still very anxious of these upcoming tests. I just can't help thinking the worst sometimes. Before cancer I was an optimistic person, always positive, always found the good in everything - That's been shot to h**l. Last evening my husband & I were talking about our plans over the next 2-3 months with different things that we have scheduled and all I kept thinking was "yeah, that's fine on that date except I might be back in treatment, surgery again, etc...." It's like I can't even plan my life or live day to day without thinking about it until I know for sure. It really stinks to have to worry about it for the rest of your life even if it's only from time to time. The pain is the scary thing because when I was first dianosed I had the same pain and found my tumor because of it. My first appt at the family doc said "don't worry because most C doesn't have pain assoc w/it" that having pain was a good sign - Yeah right. Again, not the docs fault - just my "good luck" - Anyway, thanks again to all for responding, I really appreciate it. Tomorrow I go for my monthly Herceptin treatment and I'll talk to my ONC about it all, hopefully he will put some of my fears to rest until my appts. next week. I'll keep you posted. Kitty