dealing with the tiredness

vickydavid

My husband has stage IV colon cancer ( it's in his liver and abdominal wall). We just found out in Oct. He has been getting chemo every two weeks. We have to wait until Jan. 4th for his next scan, but I feel like he is doing so much better. He had gotten to the point that he couldn't eat or rest because of the pain before they figured out what was wrong. He is 37. We have three boys, 11, 10, 5. Right now the hardest thing to deal with is his tiredness. He wants so much to do things and to be there for the boys, but if he sits still for any length of time he dozes off. He tried to go back to work part-time (accounting) but just one half-day wiped him out for two days after. He is trying again today. I am trying to support him and encourage him to do as much as he wants, but it is breaking my heart to see what it costs him. What can I do to help him?

CanadaSue

HI Vicky,

Nice to meet you, but sorry it has to be here!

My husband is also going thru what your husband is. My husband is 48 dx Jan 06. Right now he has finished his 7th treatment (which are delayed due to low white counts)and now gets sicker with each treatment, the tiredness I believe is a way of the body dealing with with everything that is going on. I don't think there is a cure, except to let it run it course. You never mentioned if your husband has had surgery, or how many treatments he has had so far.

My husband has gone thru 2 major surgeries this year, plus the chemo which is what I am attributing his tiredness to.

Depending on where your husband is on his tretments I think it will take him a while to get back his normal energy.

If I can help you in any way please feel free to e-mail me here.

Your family will be in my prayers.


Hugs

Sue

oneagleswings

My husband also has stage iv colon cnacer with mets to liver/lungs..and has been on some form of chemo for the past 2 1/2 years..some types of chemo have made him more tired than others..how is your husband's red blood cell counts..low RBC can make a person quite tired..also depression- how are his spirits??
Not too much cure for tireness...but maybe as the chemo starts to take effect his energy level will get better..my thoughts are with you.please feel free to email me if you'd like to chat.
Bev

uni522

Hello Vicky,
My husband just turned 41 and is stage iv as well. We also have 3 boys 14, 13, & 3. When he started chemo he was the same way, wiped out all the time.
What I told my husband was, "You should rest during the day while the boys are at school so you have some time at night with them." He never had looked at it that way. He would push himself to try to go all day and right about 4 (when I get off work and the boys got home) he'd be headed to the room to sleep. Now, he tries to take little naps during the day, if he can.
The bad thing with this monster is some days, they'll just have no energy! I know it's tough for my hubby because sometimes he sees people who are still working full-time and it just eats him up that he can't "GO" like he used to.
I hope this helps some to know you're not alone. The people on this site are so loving and supportive and you can always depend on them!! I don't know what I would have done over this past year if I had not found this site. God bless you and yours,
Brittany

vickydavid

Thank you for sharing with me. It does help not to feel alone. The kids are out of school today but we teachers have to be here, so I did talk him into staying with them this morning instead of trying to go to work. I think that will be good for all of them. Thanks again.

bonewrapper

Hi Vicky. My husband is in remission from stg IV lung cancer. The chemo wiped him out often, and that was five years ago. The treatments were so intense he still suffers from fatigue. Anti-depressants help a bit, but I found fresh air to be very therapeudic. There seems to be something in our house (or any indoor environment?) that makes sleepiness and tiredness more intense. We, too, have three kids, but they're grown. The trouble with the fatigues that still persists is that it is more annoying to our children than to my husband, who seems content with sleeping all day! It makes me and the kids nuts! One example is yesterday my husband and I were going to meet our daughter in Carmel (California) for coffee and the transfer of a surf board (NOT mine!). WHen I got home from work at noon he was still in bed and didnt want to go. This was very disappointing to my daughter, who drove up from San Diego! What also made me ache was seeing the stunning sunset on my way home and having no one to share it with. I miss him and got annoyed that he could sleep through the opportunity to see such a wonder. I know he's chronically tired, but knowing intellectually and dealing with it in reality sometimes leaves a gap.

I hope your boys and husband know its probably just the medication, but my advice would be to make him get up and participate with the boys in ways that are not exhausting. If he sits, have him be busy with his mind and hands to help keep him alert as much as possible. Ask the boys maybe to help devise ways to entertain their father. It could give them a sense of control over an uncontrollable situation by actively participating in their father's "physical therapy" and this could form a new bond that they will value their entire lives.

Good luck!

donaldo

I'm sort of an intruder on this disscusion board. I was just seeing what other boards were discussing and this conversation caught my attention. I'm not a caregiver, rather I'm a long term survivor.
The reason I'm sticking my nose into this conversation is that I wanted to say you all sound like your doing good jobs with trying to keep your charges active which is important since giving in to the temptation to just sleep life away, is a form of giving up the fight. And none of you sound like you are over pushing them, which would be bad because it would be interfering with the bodies natural healing process.
I also wanted to mention just in case you were unaware of it that the tiredness is often caused by mental fatigue just as much, or sometimes more then physical fatigue. This is noticable when their attention span gets really short. If this is the case, planning short periods of mental activity, such as watching a half hour program as opposed to a whole movie will help keep their interest. If the planned activity is longer then they know their concentration is, they will subconciously lose interest in it before it even starts.
Keep up the good work.
Don

EdsBarb

donaldo said:

I'm sort of an intruder on this disscusion board. I was just seeing what other boards were discussing and this conversation caught my attention. I'm not a caregiver, rather I'm a long term survivor.
The reason I'm sticking my nose into this conversation is that I wanted to say you all sound like your doing good jobs with trying to keep your charges active which is important since giving in to the temptation to just sleep life away, is a form of giving up the fight. And none of you sound like you are over pushing them, which would be bad because it would be interfering with the bodies natural healing process.
I also wanted to mention just in case you were unaware of it that the tiredness is often caused by mental fatigue just as much, or sometimes more then physical fatigue. This is noticable when their attention span gets really short. If this is the case, planning short periods of mental activity, such as watching a half hour program as opposed to a whole movie will help keep their interest. If the planned activity is longer then they know their concentration is, they will subconciously lose interest in it before it even starts.
Keep up the good work.
Don

Thanks for the input. It's nice to hear that once in awhile,we are doing the right thing. I try not to beat myself up about my husband's care. Sometimes it feels like I should be doing more.

Unknown

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