Friday Giggles

JADot
JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi All:

Hoorah it's the weekend again, and not a day too soon!

Enjoy the giggles but don't try the diet at home or anywhere else :)

Cheers,
Ying


= = = = = =

STRESS DIET

A diet designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day.

BREAKFAST:
Grapefruit
1 Slice whole Wheat Toast
8 oz Skim Milk

LUNCH:
4 oz Lean Broiled Chicken Breast
1 C Steamed Spinach
1 C Herb Tea
1 Oreo Cookie

MID-AFTERNOON SNACK:
The rest of Oreo's in the package
2 Pts Rocky Road Ice Cream, Nuts, Cherries and Whipped Cream
1 Jar Hot Fudge Sauce

DINNER:
2 Loaves Garlic Bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher of Coke
1 large Sausage, Mushroom and Cheese Pizza
3 Snicker bars

LATE EVENING NEWS:
Entire frozen Sara Lee Cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

RULES FOR THIS DIET:
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy
bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat
more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate,
brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part
of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. Examples:
Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots & Tootsie Rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes
calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the
process of preparing something.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories.
Examples are: Spinach & Pistachio Ice Cream; Mushrooms & Mashed Potatoes.
10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other
food color.
11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to
gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
12. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the
calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her
plate. (We all know how calories like to cling!!)

REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS.

Comments

  • StacyGleaso
    StacyGleaso Member Posts: 1,233 Member
    #2
    Great job as always, Ying!

    Hugs,
    Stacy
  • jana11
    jana11 Member Posts: 705
    #3
    Hee hee hee... thanks for the diet tips, and the smiles.

    FYI: I eat tons of tofu - I even jot my hubbie to eat the stuff! :)

    jana
  • kerry
    kerry Member Posts: 1,313 Member
    #4
    I'm having one of my Decadron munchies - chili and fritos!! (all organic)

    Kerry
  • lfondots63
    lfondots63 Member Posts: 818 Member
    #5
    STRESS??? Who us?? Never!! LOL.

    Love it Ying! As always it has made my Friday. Had to send it to a few friends too of course. Happy Weekend!!

    Lisa F.
  • JADot
    JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
    #6
    jana11 said:

    Hee hee hee... thanks for the diet tips, and the smiles.

    FYI: I eat tons of tofu - I even jot my hubbie to eat the stuff! :)

    jana

    My hubbie loves tofu even more than I do. Sounds like we've both got sensitive new age tofu eating guys LOL!

    Ying
  • JADot
    JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
    #7
    kerry said:

    I'm having one of my Decadron munchies - chili and fritos!! (all organic)

    Kerry

    Chili and fritos - my knees are getting weak just from thinking about it. I am dying for some good TX chili.

    24 years ago when I interviewed at the American Embassy in Beijing for my visa to come here, the counselor there told me about this spice hot dish they eat in TX called chili :) So that was one of the first things I asked to try upon arriving in Austin. Can't say I liked it right away, but definitely acquired the taste in a big way later.

    Have a great weekend Kerry!

    Ying

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