Friday Giggles

JADot

Hi Guys:

Here are some giggles to get the weekend started. Since it's a long weekend in the US, I am throwing in 2 for the price of one!

Have a great weekend!

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Lesson in Punctuation

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.

"It's a period,'' said the little boy.

"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''

''Damned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."

(Hmmm...many of us have missing semi-colons

Voodoo Enronomics

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

Communism: You have two cows. You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Enron Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt-equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred through an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The Enron annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

kerry

Ying,

Great jump start for a long weekend. Too funny! Can't wait to see you in SF. We are all booked and ready to go.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Kerry

KathiM

Ah, Ying...you have done it again...I laugh and laugh!

On the period thing...

As part of my bowel resection surgery, I also had a total hysterectomy. The saying I put on the thank you card to my surgeon (along with a 5 pound box of godiva chocolates) for saving my life:

"I came with a colon, left with a semi-colon, and lost my period. So are the punctuations of MY life!".

Hugs for a great weekend,
Kathi

JADot

kerry said:

Ying,

Great jump start for a long weekend. Too funny! Can't wait to see you in SF. We are all booked and ready to go.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Kerry

whoohooo Kerry. Can't wait to meet up w/ some Texans!!! I'll be back latest on the 12th, and will be ready for some R&R after that.

Let me know when you get here exactly so we can get the mini palooza planning going!

Gotta run to the airport now!

Cheers,
Ying

JADot

KathiM said:

Ah, Ying...you have done it again...I laugh and laugh!

On the period thing...

As part of my bowel resection surgery, I also had a total hysterectomy. The saying I put on the thank you card to my surgeon (along with a 5 pound box of godiva chocolates) for saving my life:

"I came with a colon, left with a semi-colon, and lost my period. So are the punctuations of MY life!".

Hugs for a great weekend,
Kathi

Kathi, you are a well punctuated scream! Your clever saying is just too funny, and accurate. I am sure your great humor is what's keeping the big bad beasts away!

Have a great weekend!
Ying

Betsydoglover

Hi Ying -

I laughed extra - hard at the Enron thing. You see back in 1979 I almost went to work for Houston Natural Gas which became part of Enron. At the last minute I changed my mind and started elsewhere. I am getting ready to retire soon and have a good retirement portfolio built up, but if I had made that fatal "Enron decision", I would be utterly screwed right now! So, I appreciate your joke even more than the average bear!

Happy Labor Day,
Betsy