Not sure I can find real peace in chemo....

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  • spongebob
    spongebob Member Posts: 2,565 Member
    #22
    scouty said:

    Patrusha,

    You know I had to chime in here!!!!!!!

    I'm not sure one can ever completely say they are at "peace" with life deciding decisions. i think we do the best we can within ourselves. I had no idea there were options when I started chemo and to be honest the first 3 months were easy easy for me. The 5th month things started really get hard and by the 8th month, I truly felt like the chemo was killing me not the cancer. I had grown to be very scared of it and how it was going to kill me. I remember one of my brothers, a ear, nose, and throat surgeon telling me that "the whole point of chemo is to hopefully kill all the cancer cells before it kills the patient".

    I stopped the chemo soon after then and have not regretted it at all. BUT, I can't tell you what I would do if my cancer comes back. I still have my port for some silly "don't want to jinx anything" reason.

    Anyway, we all do what we can tolerate and reasonerate and it is okay for them to change over time. Mine certainly have and it is all for the good.

    FYI, once you are done with chemo, you won't remember much about it, chemo brain keeps you from remembering most of the yucky times (good thing).

    And always remember you are in a battle, a fight for your life and no one in their right mind (won't say much more there) ever feels at peace while fighting like hell. Give yourself a break and just work on taking care of you especially, around the poisonings.

    Lisa P.

    Didn't we have just about this same conversation a couple years ago, Lisa? Looks like ya done good with your decision!

    Love ya, darlin' - heading your way the last week of Sept. You gonna be around?

    - SB

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