Let the Chemo Begin...

SassyAF

After 3 grueling months filled with crazy thoughts I finally start chemo on Tuesday. I will be getting Dose Dense AC followed by taxol. Hope I can hang in there until the end.

I have tried to prepare myself for the months ahead by doing the following: I cut my short, bought new undies, piercing nose on monday, cleaned house, food in freezer and lots of comedy tapes to watch. And the most importantly, I have a good support system not only from this board but from friends and family. Am I forgetting anything?

I would like to think I'm strong, but I sure have had some days that make me doubt how strong I actually am. The guarenteed hair loss is disturbing not so much because of vanity as in that everyone will know I'm fighting cancer when I'm trying to be so strong (hence the nose ring). I know this sounds trivial, but how does one go about trying to get through a day like a warrior when your body is showing otherwise.

Thanks to all for your humor, knowledge and kindness,
Sharalee/Sassy

KathiM

Laugh. Acknowlege your fight, be proud of it...I wore my bald head accesorized with a pink ribbon pin...I had some WONDERFUL conversations with suriviors coming up to me and sharing....
WATER WATER WATER WATER!!!!
I started drinking alot the day BEFORE infusion, then the day of and the day after...urinated like a fountain...but helped with the sides from the chemo....
food....check
support system....check
laugh stimulants....check
courage....check check

MAJOR HUGS.....CHECK
remember us here....you had BETTER!

Hugs, Kathi

LesleyH

Sassy, you are so much better prepared than I was. I thought I would spend my time quilting, but one of the side effects was blurred vision so I ended up watching a lot of HGTV. As usual, Kathi gave you good advice. I got very tired of all the water I had to drink and so would alternate plain water with grape juice diluted with club soda. Some days I was too exhausted to move and my daughter would make my toast, green tea and bring me water. If you don't have someone to do that, you may want to move a cooler to your bed/couch. I know it sounds seriously melodramatic, but some days I would have starved if I had to get anything myself.

I was totally unprepared for how I felt when I lost my hair. I just sobbed. I allowed myself to grieve and then I moved on. It's not only the hair loss that makes you look like you are fighting cancer, it's also your skin and your whole body. It's a time to demand things from strangers. I would take my daughter to dance and then ask perfect strangers to please let me sit down because I was having chemo. I'm not usually a demanding person, but this is the time to acknowledge that you are vulnerable and no one ever minds. I always went to the head of the line.

Oh, and one more thing, I found it really helpful to exercise whenever I could. I also did dose dense ACT with neulasta and I never missed one treatment. The bone pain you may get is probably from the treatment - not mets to the bones. (I was worried about that.)

I will be thinking of you. Please contact me if you have any questions or concerns. I will help you with anything I can.

Hugs.

Lesley

pansylover

I think the best thing about chemo(if there is one) was losing my hair!. I always wanted to shave my head and NO hairdresser would, Rarely would I cover my head. I was a proud WARRIOR! a little saying for you...LAUGHTER IS AN INSTANT VACATION. laugh laugh laugh...it helps in the healing
Hugs and prayers,
Cindie

Susan956

Sassy,
Glad you have started the journey. I actually felt better once the Chemo was started... It made me fell like I was battling the beast. The best advice that I can give you is to try to give yourself simple pleasures. When I was too tired to go outside, a friend of mine put a bird feeder in my kitchen window so I could enjoy the birds... Some days I would just sit there and watch. Also try to continue to do as much of your normal life as you can. It seems to help to stay as busy as your body will let you. I too found loosing my hair to be very difficult... but it does come back. Mine is now 1 1/2 inches long and it no longer looks like that I have gone through cancer. I too didn't want people to know that I was sick... didn't want their pity... but you know so many people convinced me it wasn't pity but love.... So take it one day at a time and this will be over. By the way I charted my own blood results and worked very closely with the doctor in getting Procrit shots(for red blood cells) and Neupogen (white blood cells.) They typically give Nuelasta for white blood cells. But it didn't work well for me. I hurt much more (bone pain) and it didn't help the white blood cells as much the only down side of Nuelasta is that you have to take a shot everyday for 10 days after treatment. (I gave myself the shots to avoid the drive to the Doctor) Didn't know I had it in me..... You will find out that you are so much stronger than you knew.

Take Care.... God Bless...

Susan

happyplace

Hi I was diagnosed in Nov. 05 and started chemo in Jan. 06, the wait was very hard. I am currently on my second round of treatment. Here are a few things that have worked well for me. On the day of chemo eat as much ice as you can to keep my capillaries constricted to prevent mouth sores, I put alot of conditioner on my scalp and new hair to keep from getting the rash on the back of my neck. I use Dove body wash and cetaphil lotion to keep my skin soft and free of redness. I drink 8oz. of soy milk a day to help keep my blood count up. So far my wbc'c have never fallen lower than 3.4. Rest as much as possible, let your doctor know if you have episodes of panic or signs of depression. Last of all remeber you don't have to walk around with a smile on your face all the time for others, sometimes you just don't feel well and that's okay. By the way did you get a port inserted for your chemo? Let me know how you are.
God Bless.

TereB

I cannot help you with info about breast cancer but you are in my prayers. The ladies here are great with support and advise. I cried when I lost hair first time I had radiation but my then 6 year old son, gave me a big hug and told me that even if I had three eyes and two noses I was still beautiful to him. That was the last time I worried about hair. These days, I cut my hair short before radiation, mostly because I hate ending with big wads of hair in my hands when I wash my hair.

I never thought of myself as strong, especially when I am in treatment but everybody else thinks I am actually very strong. No hair, feeling sick and tired or just feeling bad sometimes does not mean you are not strong. You are definitely a warrior!
Hugs and prayers,
Tere

Katzy

You will make it through because.....we just have to. I do have a few suggestions, 1. get a mediport if you don't have one. I didn't the first round of chemo, but did with my taxotere and it made it much easier, no more digging around trying to find my tiny veins. 2. I chewed gum alot (actually nicotine gum to stop smoking) and I never had a problem with mouth sores, so I'm not sure, but I think it helped with that side effect. 3. Eat whatever you want when you want, the point is to eat something. 4. Take the medicine for side effects, don't worry you will get hooked on it, just take it when it is due, there is no need to suffer more than you have to. 5. Never say "this is the worst that could happen" cuz I found that when I said that, something worse was always around the corner. 6. Rest when you have to and whenever you can. I found that the medication to reduce side effects and nausea made me so hyperactive that I often couldn't sleep the night after the chemo, so I just stayed awake until I could fall asleep. Your whole sleep/wake schedule may be totally changed. 7. Practice energy conservation. Do things you on ly really want to do, save your energy for the good things, the fun things, the things you will get the most out of. It is ok to say no and cancer is really a good reason to do so. 8. When they stick you, take a deep breath in and say to yourself "Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow" by then the stick is over and you should be ok. ALso, remember to breath out and keep breathing...holding your breath can cause you to pass out or feel worse. 9. Track your side effects so that you can tell when and what to expect with your future treatments. I had a daily log so I knew when I would feel worst or have a particular side effect. It helps also when you go to the doctor to take it along so you can tell them exactly what is happening and they can help with it.

We know what you are going through and I hope you can feel all the good thoughts and prayers from everyone for your recovery and just for you as a person. It's rough, but you can DO IT!!!!! (I used to say that to myself and always pictured that gymnastics coach by my side saying it to me.) A year from now you won't believe you made it through, in fact all this may be pretty blurred, sometimes chemobrain is useful (the forgetfullness that seems to appear to some people who have chemo).

The best of luck to you and we are holding your hand through this. (Picture a bazillion little people sitting on your shoulder holding your hand while you go through it all) Of course, you have, by now had your first chemo as it is already Tue., so I hope it went ok and that you have minimal side effects. We are still here for you.

KathiM

Katzy said:

You will make it through because.....we just have to. I do have a few suggestions, 1. get a mediport if you don't have one. I didn't the first round of chemo, but did with my taxotere and it made it much easier, no more digging around trying to find my tiny veins. 2. I chewed gum alot (actually nicotine gum to stop smoking) and I never had a problem with mouth sores, so I'm not sure, but I think it helped with that side effect. 3. Eat whatever you want when you want, the point is to eat something. 4. Take the medicine for side effects, don't worry you will get hooked on it, just take it when it is due, there is no need to suffer more than you have to. 5. Never say "this is the worst that could happen" cuz I found that when I said that, something worse was always around the corner. 6. Rest when you have to and whenever you can. I found that the medication to reduce side effects and nausea made me so hyperactive that I often couldn't sleep the night after the chemo, so I just stayed awake until I could fall asleep. Your whole sleep/wake schedule may be totally changed. 7. Practice energy conservation. Do things you on ly really want to do, save your energy for the good things, the fun things, the things you will get the most out of. It is ok to say no and cancer is really a good reason to do so. 8. When they stick you, take a deep breath in and say to yourself "Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow" by then the stick is over and you should be ok. ALso, remember to breath out and keep breathing...holding your breath can cause you to pass out or feel worse. 9. Track your side effects so that you can tell when and what to expect with your future treatments. I had a daily log so I knew when I would feel worst or have a particular side effect. It helps also when you go to the doctor to take it along so you can tell them exactly what is happening and they can help with it.

We know what you are going through and I hope you can feel all the good thoughts and prayers from everyone for your recovery and just for you as a person. It's rough, but you can DO IT!!!!! (I used to say that to myself and always pictured that gymnastics coach by my side saying it to me.) A year from now you won't believe you made it through, in fact all this may be pretty blurred, sometimes chemobrain is useful (the forgetfullness that seems to appear to some people who have chemo).

The best of luck to you and we are holding your hand through this. (Picture a bazillion little people sitting on your shoulder holding your hand while you go through it all) Of course, you have, by now had your first chemo as it is already Tue., so I hope it went ok and that you have minimal side effects. We are still here for you.

Wow! I couldn't have said it all any better!
re: #5....that happened to me, too...I took that expression right OUT of my lineup!
Hugs, kathi