caretaker - no one to talk to

jodanderg

my husband (age 32) was diagnosed in december with TC the second time around. the first time was exactly 5 years ago - december 2000. that time he had the orchiectomy, rplnd, then lung metasteses & chemo. this time he is on surveillance - the pathology report said no vascular/lymphatic invasion, docs thought we caught it early, etc. found out sunday that our second opinion pathologist does see signs of lymphatic invasion. i'm scared. he doesn't want anyone to know what is going on, which is really hard. this has all been so hard on him, obviously, but it is challenging to be strong for him when i don't have anyone to lean on myself. i feel like sometimes i just need to cry, but i can't do it around him, and i can't do it around our almost 2-yr-old daughter, none of my friends know, so that means i just end up keeping it all inside. just needed to share this with someone. thanks.

Waving

Hi jodanderg,
I suggest also trying the forums at the TC-Cancer - Testicular Cancer Information & Support website www.tc-cancer.com, and you may find the webpage www.cancergen.com/testicular useful too.

terato

Jo,

Understand that, even with lymph node involvement, your husband can look forward to a complete recovery. I was diagnosed in 1980 with metastisis into the lymph nodes which had to be removed. I am still around after all these years with no discernable evidence of relapse, despite elevations of AFP markers. Your husband's best hope for cure are the love he continues to receive from you and his daughter. Please have patience with his moods. They will pass the further this dark period has come and gone.

Peace!

Rick

abartender

I can relate to how you feel, i was in your husbands shoe's and my wife at the time couldn't take seeing me go threw the misery i was in , so she left me. I cryed when i was alone being a man that wore many hats at the time i felt no one would undertsand why a little thing like the BIG C
would or could shake a biker , a bartender and a vetran of the gulfwar but it did. Find support in church, a local cancer survivor group { call any local hospital they'll know where to find one for you} or here , this place got me threw when i had no place to turn,lol and put up with my drastic moodswings.
If you ever need to talk, or even cry and yell drop me an e- mail abartender1@yahoo.com, or catch me in the chat room here and i'll give you my cell number, if you get a chance check out my web page here , looking back i know God blessed me and has more things for me to do .
When we have nothing else we always have FAITH.
God bless and be with you and your husband Always.
Mark a.k.a abartender

SteveLD

Dear Jodanderg:

I understand exactly what you and your husband are going through.

At the age of 33, I was diagnosed with testicular seminoma - back in Sept. 2005 - although I had elevated LDH levels for more than 4 years (the doctors did not connect the dots until the tumor became golf-ball size). I had to have my right testicle removed in an emergency, and also had chemotherapy. I have been on surveillance ever since, and have had an extremely difficult time dealing with the aftermath of the ordeal (i.e. both physical and emotional).

Unfortunately, I did not have a supportive spouse such as yourself to help me deal with the misery I had gone through (I was and still am a bachelor). I can sympathize that you feel overwhelmed by what is happening, but try to remember that just knowing that someone is there to talk to and offer support will make all the difference in the world for your husband. I know from experience how awful and scary it can be when you have to face the diagnosis and treatment of cancer all alone. Testicular cancer, in particular, strikes a particular heavy blow to a man's pride - I know.

In closing, try to be strong. Both you and your husband WILL pull through.

God Bless both of you. Please accept my best regards.

SteveLD