newly diagnosed at 29.

flwr76

Hello. I just joined today and I am in need of talking to other people hopefully of my age. I just turned 29 and found out I have breast cancer. I have had a partial mastectomy with a sentinal node biopsy. The margins of the surgery came back pos. and lymph nodes neg. Which is good. But I do have to go back for a full mastectomy. I have accepted that fact, but I'm not too sure what to do with the surg. of wether or not to have implants. I do not have the stomach to do the flap thing. I could use the back of my shoulder and have reconstructive with an implant. The implants seem to be to much in the long run. Any suggestions or stories that other people have done, I would love to hear. I also just got married and bought a house. What a difficult time in my life!!

Annabelle3

Hi there -- I am so sorry about your diagnosis. I am 38 and just 2 months into my whole process. Stage 1 breast cancer. I did have the whole mastectomy, sentinal node surgery, had the expanders put in (you get the implants later when you are done with chemo) and I'm going through chemo right now. I also just bought my dream house and was diagnosed right after, so I completely sympathize with your situation. As for the mastectomy and implants, I chose to get them only because I was told that this is what people do when this happens. Especially at our young age. I did not do the flap, I had heard that the recovery time for that was much greater than just the expanders being put in. I'm not too happy with the fact that I have to go in and have it all redone later, but everyone tells me that in the long run I'll be happy I did this. Right now I think it's too early in my process to even know what I want -- part of me is still in shock and part of me is recovering from the surgery and doing the whole expander thing. I wish I could tell you more, but I can tell you that I share your pain and I completely understand where you are in this process. Feel free to write me to anytime. Best of luck and God Bless you.

24242

There are things that people do because they feel in their souls it would be better. Sometimes our gut instincts are what we should be hearing. In my time double mastectomies weren't the norm. I ended up having the double because I continued to have lumps. I had always wanted to have the double in fear I wouldn't go back for second one but under very good advice I did one at a time.
Now with all the infection and stuff going around I can't bring myself to think about implants or anything else. My thought was just to go after cancer period and everything else would fall into place. It was difficult going back and now I am like that woman on Oprah who has brain cancer after breast and was a top model in the world. She said she felt more like a woman now than she ever has throughout her life because now she know the true inner beauty of our souls."
With all the bad that comes with this disease I look back and so much good I have to be thankful for. The risks are huge for some after fighting this disease and we have to be more aware and listen that much more to our bodies.
I have met many women now who haven't had reconstruction or exp. and you would never know it. Wearing black totally takes away from that and guess what, for me it is the first time men have been looking me in the eye when they talk to me, not that I was big or anything.
I have always feared too that I would go big or just go home, lol, not a pretty picture to me. The one thing we do have to do is do what will make us comfortable with ourselve's, better able to cope. This is a difficult time and we have to allow ourselves time to be educated and adjust so decisions are not based on emotions, instead found in our souls.
Welcome to a wonderful community. Reading past posts is a very good educational tool. I have been around long enough to read them all.
Be good to yourself always,
Tara

flwr76

Annabelle3 said:

Hi there -- I am so sorry about your diagnosis. I am 38 and just 2 months into my whole process. Stage 1 breast cancer. I did have the whole mastectomy, sentinal node surgery, had the expanders put in (you get the implants later when you are done with chemo) and I'm going through chemo right now. I also just bought my dream house and was diagnosed right after, so I completely sympathize with your situation. As for the mastectomy and implants, I chose to get them only because I was told that this is what people do when this happens. Especially at our young age. I did not do the flap, I had heard that the recovery time for that was much greater than just the expanders being put in. I'm not too happy with the fact that I have to go in and have it all redone later, but everyone tells me that in the long run I'll be happy I did this. Right now I think it's too early in my process to even know what I want -- part of me is still in shock and part of me is recovering from the surgery and doing the whole expander thing. I wish I could tell you more, but I can tell you that I share your pain and I completely understand where you are in this process. Feel free to write me to anytime. Best of luck and God Bless you.

thank you for reading my message and responding. I am feeling better about this chat thing. I am having surgery on Dec 12 to have the mastectomy and they will do the reconstruction at the same time. I need to decide what I want soon. I hear the expander is almost painful? Is it true?
So its been a couple of months for me too. I found out the week before my wedding in Sept. Its def. made my relationship with my husband stronger. Although it can be difficult at times. He has been great though. I must say that. I am not doing chemo. I have chose to take tamoxifen with ovarian suppression. I think chemo would be too difficult on my body. Also, considering that I want children as soon as I can. We'd probably be thinking about a few years. thats whats been the hardest for me is deciding on how to keep myself cancer free, but also not doing too much damage with my body. I will be meeting with my plastic surgeon in a couple of weeks to decide on what to do with the reconstruction....implants or what not. But like you said its such a common thing. Who knows what will happen in ten years when I need to have a new one put in. The medicine world is constantly changing and new and new things are happening in this world. How is the chemo going for you? Best of luck to you and I look foward to chatting again soon.

Annabelle3

flwr76 said:

thank you for reading my message and responding. I am feeling better about this chat thing. I am having surgery on Dec 12 to have the mastectomy and they will do the reconstruction at the same time. I need to decide what I want soon. I hear the expander is almost painful? Is it true?
So its been a couple of months for me too. I found out the week before my wedding in Sept. Its def. made my relationship with my husband stronger. Although it can be difficult at times. He has been great though. I must say that. I am not doing chemo. I have chose to take tamoxifen with ovarian suppression. I think chemo would be too difficult on my body. Also, considering that I want children as soon as I can. We'd probably be thinking about a few years. thats whats been the hardest for me is deciding on how to keep myself cancer free, but also not doing too much damage with my body. I will be meeting with my plastic surgeon in a couple of weeks to decide on what to do with the reconstruction....implants or what not. But like you said its such a common thing. Who knows what will happen in ten years when I need to have a new one put in. The medicine world is constantly changing and new and new things are happening in this world. How is the chemo going for you? Best of luck to you and I look foward to chatting again soon.

Good morning. Your question about the expanders, I am not going to lie. It's very tough. And I've heard this from everyone. But everyone also tells me that it will be so much better for you in the end. I was very confused as to what to do, so I just kind of let myself be pushed into the "what do other people do in this situation thing" --- another consideration is insurance. I didn't want to have to pay for it myself down the road and if you do it at the time of your mastectomy, it's almost always covered. Mine was after I met my deductible. Gosh, I feel so bad for you, finding out a week before your wedding. That just sucks. I guess there is a lesson in here for all of us, but I have no idea what it could be. I am more than willing to talk to you about any of this stuff if you would like -- and I'll be very honest. Because I stopped reading those books, they were too depressing. So I'll tell you what I've went through and the nurse at the plastic surgeon's office has been wonderful. They will become your new best friend, so make sure you get a really really good one. With a good nurse, because you'll see her more for the filling than you will the actual plastic surgeon. Please feel free to email me anytime, chewie333@comcast.net. I am available all the time and I am here to talk. I met a couple other great people through this site and it really has helped me when I wanted to talk about certain things that people around me can't really understand. I hope to hear from you and I'll help you through it as much as I possibly can.

seraphima

Dear flwr76,
I am 26 years old.I am three weeks into recovery,after having a bilateral mastectomy,with the flap surgery inwhich I too did not have the stomach to do it,therefore they took muscle from my back.I have decided to go ahead with the implants also.I am not down playing the emotions of older women with breast cancer but I know I have had no one even remotely close to my age to talk to.I have been told that womens body image is different as you get older and I believe that to be true.It is not vain to want to feel good about yourself.so I tell you honestly,I do not like what I see when I look in the mirrior at my scars but I do see even if only in my minds eye at this time,that it will get better.Our young age is on our side as far as healing.If you are concerned about the flap surgery being done on your back I am telling you honestly from my heart that you should not worry.I was naturally a 34DD and if I hadn't done the flaps ,I don't think I would stand being able to look at myself for it would resemble a child.That may sound strange,but I personally felt when I was diagnosed as if I was not a full women without my breasts.The surgery helped me to feel better about my self image.The recovery was not longer because I went through the flap surgery.It may depend on the patient.I was able to drive for the first time this week.I had the surgery on Holloween of all days.I will start Chemo three days after Christmas.But I am here for you anytime.Congratulations on your new home.It is easy to say try to find the positive things in life and people say those things because they care.But it is true.Everyday I see another scar start to heal on my back and in the days when I was most excited about a job promotion or a new boyfriend I see the true treasures in life even if it is only an inch of my scar healing.It is better then any job,any guy.Life is what you need to treasure.And if you get a few scars along the way,well then you are going to have alot of great stories to tell your children and your grandchildren.Be strong.I'm here to listen.

sassysally

flower, I was 29 when I was first diagnoised. I had a lumpectomy. I chose not to take tamoxifen at the time because I wanted to have children. Please check with your oncologist in regard to this. My Oncologist at the time warned against taking it if I wanted children. I went through chemo and radiation. Wanted to do all I could. I have had bc two more times, but they were spread out. 29, 36, and 40. Had my son at 33yrs of age. I am now 43. ( going to be 44 on Monday) If you would like to chat let me know. I also chose not to have anything done at any time. I am as flat as a board. That is a personal decision. I chose to " Strap the Girls" on when I wanted them.
Read my page if you want the full story.

Hugs,

Sassy Sally